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Ok... i have been dating this guy for almost a year and a half. We was first best friends then when we first got together he was a major sweetheart and would do anything for me. i fell in love with him like crazy. I mean right after we got together he wanted to marry me, i mean everyone thought we was perfect. but after like 5 months he just became someone totally different. He was mean and just hurtful. Over the months and after a year we have been in so many fights it even came to some physical fights. and now i have been with him for 16 months and i dont know if i even love him anymore.He just hurt me so bad over the time.i mean we fight and we break up with each other then he comes back and does anything to get me back and hes sweet for a couple of days then he goes right back to himself. My question is should i stay with him? Am i better off without him? Im so confused. The other problem i have is i started working at a new place and i met a guy who instantly became my good friend. me and him get along so well. he treats me like my bf used to. I think im beginning to have feeling for this guy but i dont know what to feel cause i dont want to get involved with someone else and end up hurt to. What should i do?

this is an old question, but believe me -- i've been through this TWICE.

the dreaded "love" triangle.

and to tell you the truth, you're young.
leave the old guy. he's fucking abusing you mentally, emotionally, and physically. he's not worth it at all. a guy should respect you at all times. and it just makes it worse that he lays his hands on you. in this day and age, there is no excuse for a guy to hit a girl. and as for the new guy, give him a chance. he could be a wish come true.

when i dealt with my triangles, i always left the old boyfriend. one, because i was young. and two, because my heart told me to. it hurts, you will think about the good times with your ex-boyfriend -- but if the new guy is great, you'll realize how much happier (and healthier) you feel. every girl deserves to get treated like a princess.

- J.

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he said "we need to take a break" but i asked his friend and he really broke up with me because he met another girl. so was saying "we need to take a break" just a nice way of breaking up, or could he be serious?

ah, the dreaded "we need to take a break."
first of all, guys are full of bullshit. i've gotten the, "we need to take a break" line before -- he never came back. you've got two choices, you can either stay waiting and in his life -- just keep reminding him that you think the break is helping the relationship and that space helps heal a good relationship, or you can be the man he's not being and dump his ass. (i'd go for option two.)

i waited for this guy for almost two months -- finally, i just told asked him straight up if he was ever going to be ready to try our relationship out again -- he dumped me.

be the bigger person. it will save you heartache, and if you're meant to be the boy will realize his mistake and come running back to you. and if not, you'll be moved and ready to meet someone new!

- J.

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how do you get away with wearing black nail polish without coming off as 'goth' ?

In this generation, black nail polish does not define a person as, "Gothic." All the celebrities are starting to wear black nail polish. If anything, if you want to wear black polish, don't even worry about coming off as a "Goth." Stereotypes need to be abolished anyways. But, if you really are worried about the stereotypes and judgments of other people, try French tipping the black polish. It looks really cool.

- J.

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i really really like secondhand serenade's songs. like, the acoustic ones like awake, broken, and vulnerable. is there any other bands/artists that have kinda the same style as them, maybe someone who sings acoustic, that are also good?

thanks.

everyone keeps saying dashboard confessionals; but they are different now. maybe their old stuff ... but not really their new stuff. if you're really looking for mellow acoustic stuff the only recent song by dashboard would be stolen. (great song, btw.)
some other good bands to give a listen:
death cab for cutie
dave mellio
the spill canvas
the early november
new american classic by taking back sunday
...
that's all i can think of right now.
take care
sincerely, J.

ps. i bet you didn't know that secondhand serenade changed their name. they used to be called, "Sounds Like Life." i liked that name better. also listen to their song called, Your Call.

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