Member Since: February 21, 2010
Answers: 5
Last Update: February 21, 2010
Visitors: 961
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I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Everything is going OK but I'm really just not happy with him being my boyfriend. We don't have anything in common and so it makes it hard to talk to each other since there isn't anything we're really both interested in. I'd rather just be his friend, I guess, because he's a good person but just nothing that makes us really compatible.
Last night we were on the phone and I knew I had to tell him my feelings about our relationship. I told him that I had been thinking of breaking up for awhile because I think we're better suited for different people and he totally blew up. He cried at first and I tried to calm him down but then he started talking about being depressed and that he can't stand to lose me. I was freaking out because I've never dealt with this before and he has never said anything about being sad like this before to me.
We talked some more and what it came down to is him saying to me that if I leave him that he will kill himself. His dad owns a gun and he knows where it is and how to use it. Last night he said he would go get it and blow his brains out while we were on the phone talking about breaking up. It really scared me because he was sounding serious about it.
I don't want him to kill himself and I especially don't want to be blamed for his death if he does commit suicide for some reason. I can't be in this relationship and I don't know how to get out now. I told him last night that I was sorry and that we would stay together but that isn't what I want at all. I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing now and starting up this kind of conversation with him again.
Please, help me, I'm trapped. What do I do now so that he doesn't hurt himself and so that I can move on? (link)
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I like super's response....but also, you have to think...what worse in his eyes:
Being with you knowing you don't want to be with him (what a horrible feeling)
Or learning to be apart and experience a broken heart....but eventually finding the love of his life later on down the road?
You live....you learn.
Definitely talk to his parents. Be calm about and and simply express your concern....they might know more than you think.
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Theres a friend i havent seen since i was 7. we were real close. i found her on facebook recently and saw see was in a complicated relationship so i asked her to hang out and she said yes and the day before we hung out her status changed to single and said looking for a relationship. we went to the movies and got something to eat and it kind of felt more like a date. After she said we should do it again so valentines was a week away so asked her to breakfast and to be my valentine and she said yes. the day before breakfast she asked one of those question on facebook asking who would you spend your whole saturday with and she put my name then changed her status to complicated again
Breakfast went good and she explained that the guy she used to be with called her to much and his parents didnt like her so she dumped but is still going to go to prom with him. after breakfast we had a quick kiss, and i asked if she was happy and she said yes, her status still says complicated, i dont expect a relationship between us so soon but why is her status still complicated? (link)
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Once she realizes how sweet you are...patient, kind, and a real friend she could gradually ease over to you. Girls are funny that way...they need to feel secure. Give her that feeling but don't push her...she'll come. Show her what kind of man you are....almost make it a game. It keeps you intrigued that way. Learn more about her....her favorite food (so you could ever so nonchalentlly make it for her one night) notice her eyeing a dress or a sweater and surprise it with her....just watch and learn....make it fun. Make it your goal to make her smile. But seriously....be strong. Like I said, girls need to feel secure....so be a man. Show her that you can take care of her.
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i'm 17/f and i have a problem with myself. i'm never really "happy". whenever i'm at school i'm distant and cold to everyone, even my friends. sometimes my moods lift and i'll be happy but then i'll get tired from the sudden rush of energy and go back to being depressed or angry. at church i'm pretty much the same way, and at home i'm just quiet most of the time. the only time i'm not a pissed off upset mess is when i'm hanging out with friends outside of school. but recently my best friend moved about thirty minutes away and my other friend and i aren't aloud to talk to eachother. and my other best friend already lived about 25-30 minutes away. how do i keep my moods from waving all the time? (link)
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Your problem could be biological, behavioral, or both I imagine.
You kinda sound like me at that age....a lot acutally.
I went on antidepressants....but it took me trying 4 kinds to find the right one.
Sometimes it's just all in the brain. You might not be getting enough serotonin (the happy stuff) for example. If your antidepressant gives you more serotonin you could start feeling better in a couple of weeks.
The process is actually a lot more complicated....but it's a good possibility. If that helps...and something bad is going on in your life, it also makes it a little easier to deal with.
It might take you a while to find the right one...but trust me, you will know when you find it!
Some people freak when others take antidepressants....what they don't realize is it's not your fault. It's similar to your thyroid gland not producing enough TSH....or another organ not doing its' job. It's just a default with your body...you are only human, after all.
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okay so i have been dateing a guy or at least with him for nearing three and a half years. we have been through hell and back. basically our relationship is open to public but my mom knows.
and he has a girlfriend that he has been with for a year. which highly pisses me off but i have dated around too but noone can make me fall in love because i love him. but i don't want to deal with this alone. and honestly i have took a bunch of shit. i just need to talk to someone who can honestly help me through this because i will talk to you completly answer any of your questions to just find mine. please talk to me. (link)
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I think age has a big thing to do with it. When I was younger I was so adament on falling in love I would always pick the wrong guys. When we would break up I surely knew the world was over...I wouldn't want to eat, get out of bed etc.
It's really hard to take a step back and look at the whole picture. Do you really want someone to have your heart when you don't have theirs?
There is a book called "The Secret;" check it out. It offeres some really good advive when you need to think outside of the box and become a stronger person.
If you've taken so much shit...think of what it would feel like to be with someone that is there for you to lean on.....or to have love you when you need it. You seem fairly pensive; I think you deserve better. You've obviously given it a lot more thought than he has.
Take your heart back and heal it....don't push to find someone...I was always told "If you follow your heart too much you will lose your mind, if you follow yuor mind too much you will lose your heart." Try and find your balance...that book should help too.
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I am going out with this guy that is really sweet but I don't know much about him. He asked me for my number last weekend and we've gone out TWICE now and I don't really know a lot about the guy. My mom said we should not go to movies yet but, rather, out to eat so that we can talk more. I thought that sounded fine but I have no idea what I should ask him without sounding stupid!
What are good questions to ask my boyfriend and how do I ask them? Should I just say, "I have some things to ask you..." and go through them one by one? I don't want to look like idiot but I want to get to know him better! :)
THANKSSS (link)
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I would be a little backwards. Go to the movie first and then going grab something to eat. Pick a "guy" kind of movie so he will really be interested.
While you are at the movie watch his body language...if he leans into you, you do the same. Don't tuck your hand in your sides like you are nervous...(cause he won't go fising to hold your hand) just be confident and secure in the silence because it is a place not to talk. See if you feel comfortable just sitting in his presence....if he looks over at you and smiles...etc.
Then go out to eat...simply enough you can talk about the movie. With that you can find things you both have in common...if you are a good pair the conversation will just flow...
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