Member Since: June 10, 2013
Answers: 3
Last Update: June 10, 2013
Visitors: 535
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22/f. I am just looking for a person to tell me what I can do and how I can overcome this obstacle in my life. My mom is out of control. I use to be able to deal with it, but now I can’t. It’s affecting my health and I’ve already had to start taking pills to be able to be in control of my emotions. She is so completely and totally out of control and I can’t live this way anymore.
My depression is growing stronger by the days. My mom is like straight out of a scary movie. She does not work and has nothing to do during the day. So, she stalks me on facebook. Then, she calls me while I am at work to tell me that someone commented on my page and she wants to know why I’m talking to that person. Every friend that I’ve ever had has been “bad” in her eyes. The reason for this is because they take up my time. Same with boyfriends. Not necessarily that they are “bad” but she is extremely jealous. I am fearing for myself and for my children in the future. I want to get married, leave my house, and be happy. I want to raise a family. I have come very close to moving out before. I’ve been working since I started college. Every time that I have come remotely close, she has thrown herself into tantrums. My grandmother starts acting like she’s going to have a heart attack and they make it so dramatic. Then, they proceed to tell me that I cannot leave the house until I am married. I’m sure that I will be married soon. I have a boyfriend and it seems to be headed in that direction. But, not soon enough, as I need to get out of there now.
I remember I had a problem with my car once and I called my dad. She got pissed and started throwing things and didn’t speak to me for weeks. My parents are divorced, but it is NO reason to get to this level AT ALL. I called the man I thought could help me. I can’t even talk to my father without her getting jealous. I was at a baby party this weekend and I was talking to one of her cousins, whose about 40. We were just talking about careers and the possibility of me getting married in the near future and my mom tells me “what were you and her talking so secretly about?” OH MY GOSH! It’s like every time I look over my shoulder, she’s there, ready to attack.
She does not let me sleep in my own room. I have tried several times and she makes me go back to her room. When I am in my room, I read or talk on the phone until I’m ready to go to sleep. I can’t do that in her room because she’s sleeping. Not only that, but she’ll start asking a million questions. WHY ARE YOU READING? WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? It’s TOO much! I am a good daughter. I promise you. I don’t drink, don’t do drugs, and work very, very hard. My mom doesn’t work and I have 3 jobs to support her and myself. My mom stole my identity once I turned 18. I only found out about it recently. I pulled up a credit report because I was ready to find an apartment and it was horrible. I learned that it was her and decided not to press charges. I’m afraid that when I have my own place, she’ll probably go driving by the front of the house to see what’s going on. She’s THAT much of a stalker.
She treats me like garbage. She is always saying that I’m a bitch and saying things like “f you”. She says that I have ugly hair and that I’m not as pretty as she thought I’d be. She calls me a liar if I don’t call her during lunch to say that I’m having lunch. She’ll say “I thought you were working at 12. You were having lunch and you didn’t call me. You’re a liar!”
I need to fix my credit and pay all these debts before I can move out. I finish college in December, and then just need to find a full time job. What can I do? Is there any advice you can give me to move out earlier? PLEASE HELP!
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Well first things first: Block her on Facebook.
I personally think that you need to get the hell outta there. If you can't afford your own house/apartment right now, maybe consider finding a roommate or just staying at a friends place until you can get things together. It seems like that is a horrible environment, and regardless of your financial state, you need to take drastic measures to get away. Clearly it is not good for your health and the longer you stay the worse it is going to get. Honestly at this point it would be best to break all ties from her and maybe get some help from others to make sure she keeps her distance. Personally, if I was in your situation, I would give her legal consequences when she does things like steal your identity. I think she needs that if you ever want to give her the message and make sure she doesn't walk all over you like that. You cant let her control your life like this and isolate you, its not good for either of you to be together.
If you and your boyfriend are headed in the track of marriage, I highly suggest that you talk to him about maybe staying with him for a while to get away from her.
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do girls have three holes?
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Yes. We have the same two that guys have (for going to the washroom), and another one for intercourse and menstruation.
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I turn into a very horrible person when I talk to my parents. I'm not really sure what to do about it anymore. I'm not a mean person to everyone, but only my parents for some reason. I always back talk and all this crap, but I just can't control myself. It's like.. It's not me. Plus, they always talk about "foster care" or having me life with someone else because how I am and I really don't want to... What do I do? I'm not getting meds, so please don't say get meds (I also can't talk to any counselors or anything). I just hate being a mean person but I don't know what to do. I want to try to help myself. (link)
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I think you should talk to your parents about this. Let them know that you don't want to talk back to them like you do. This might help them to handle when you aren't being the nicest to them, and their feelings might be a little less hurt if they knew that you really do care about them, but don't always show it.
Also, when you feel that you are starting to get out of control, take a step back and cool off. Its better for you to storm off and explain yourself later than to stay and say something hurtful you'll regret later.
Just remember, your parents love you and I highly doubt that they would actually send you to foster care. If so, I think your parents have some of their own issues to work out. Be open with them about your feelings and don't be afraid to take a break from their company every once in a while when you cant handle yourself. The fact that you realize what you're doing and want to change it shows that you really are a good person; we all have our "mean" moments, you just need to learn to control them and let the nice person that I'm sure you can be shine.
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