Gender: Female
Age: 34
Member Since: March 28, 2011
Answers: 3
Last Update: March 29, 2011
Visitors: 573
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I'd just like to drop by and say thank you for your answer. Maybe it is something to do with emotional detactment. My parents divorced whe i was 5 and ive lived with my dad since then. I haven't been with my mom since she hasn't been concidered well, a "proper" parent. Would it have something to do with not having a mother figure? I mean, i have a stepmom, but i dont see her as my mother or anything, i dont really have anyone to look up to except my dad, but i allways thought that my dad was enough. What do you think? (link)
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I am sure it has everything to do with that. That would be hard on anyone no matter your age or gender. Getting close to a step-parent seems like something most people do not want to do. For some reason there are walls between stepparents and stepchildren and often times they are walls that can be torn down if someone will take the first step - then it is possible for a wonderful relationship to grow. Stepparenting can be hard because you automatically feel like you have to earn the child's love- something that is just a given in most cases with a real parent. I know I do not know your situation but if you are willing, maybe you could take a small step to try to to form a relationship. Sometimes writing a letter is easier than talking. In the meantime, maybe you could sign up for a women's mentoring service. Most churches offer that for free. You might even mentor someone yourself because that can be so rewarding as well. Don't give up though. If you know where your mother's is and if you have her contact info, maybe you could write her a letter also - let her know that you were hurt from her not being in your life for whatever reason (another words no matter who's "fault" it is)write all the things down you want to get out but most important, choose to forgive her - that will help you heal from this. If you don't know her contact info write it anyways - get it all out and in the end (after you have truly thought about it and decided to do it) write down that you forgive her and that you choose to heal from the pain. Then you can throw the letter away or do whatever you want with it but it will help to get it out. Keeping it pinned up inside is not healthy. I will be in prayer for you and for your healing and growth. You can take this and learn from it and allow it to help you make the right choices when you become a mother one day. Feel free to write back if you would like. Wish you the best!
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Im a 15 year old girl and for some reason i dont really feel emotion anymore, I dont feel sad or depressed. but nothing. Usually i just wear a fake mask of happiness and everyone buys it. they believe im the happiest person ever. I enjoy mimicing peoples expression and studieing what other people do. Its shocking how people are so easily fooled. I dont really understand much of why people get so upset or how they can express emotions so easily without feeling stupid. I dont really care about anything. Especailly my school work. Ive lost complete interest in it, since i no longer feel the urge to do well. They think ive gotten lazy, but i just dont feel the need or push anymore to do well in school. Most advice columbs about realated topics suggest going through your childhood memories but, i honestly cant remember mostly anything thing from my childhood. i cant even remember as far back as a month ago or a week. Its all a blur. The few momories i do have is of pointless interactions between strangers or classmates. thats what all my memories are, pointless blurs of my life. I feel as if im in a dream, as if nothing is real and nothing is really happening. the days just blur together and i just go through it without feeling anything. I dont even reconize myself in the mirror anymore. People would consider me "pretty" and stuff but when i look in the mirror it feels as if what im doing or me myself isnt real. I dont feel "real", nothing feels real. And I honestly dont know why. (link)
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It sounds like you are dealing with some emotional detachments. Maybe you have been though a divorce(s) in your family or lost someone that you grew a bond with. It might be something that happened to you when you were a good bit younger and you are just now feeling the wounds it caused. Each time we go through the loss of someone or something (maybe even a pet) it can cause us to grow numb and make us feel almost like we don’t care - or think we must not care. It becomes harder to feel close to people or care about things that you once cared about. This can also pin up inside of you and make you feel depressed (even if you put on the happy face for everyone looking). My advise is to write down things that make you happy. Place positive things in your life because believe it or not, when we are already feeling blah about things, it is easy to feed from negative so: no sad music, no sad movies, no sad anything. Heck, put on some fun music in your room and get in front of the mirror and dance, be silly, let it out, cry if you need to. Try to figure out what you may have lost in the past and acknowledge that it may have caused you to have some emotional detachment. Talk to someone about it (even just me or this site if that would help) and make a decision to not allow it to trap you. Tell yourself out loud that you choose to heal from it. Give yourself some credit, trust yourself, believe in yourself - know that you can and will overcome this. You took the first step by posting your concerns on this site, now take the next steps. Being 15 is hard anyways but just push yourself through this time - take time to say positive things to people. When you see that you have put a smile on someone’s face, it will help bring one to yours. Do something good for someone. Go into the inner city or a homeless shelter and help serve food on a Sunday or donate some clothes to someone in need. Rake a yard for an elder person or simply just offer to help someone load or unload their groceries. You will start to feel again and it feels good to help someone in need. Hang in there!
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okay so im in love with my ex boyfriend still and he still loves me but says he doesn't want to go out with me again because we fight too much. i have tried to plea with, do i just give up? any quotes or advice would be good.
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My advice is to let him go. Today we are bad about dating and staying in relationships that do not work. When you date someone, make sure it is someone that you could one day marry. If you know there are things about that person that you would never want as a husband or as the father of your children, then do not waste your (or his) time. Most marriages end in divorce because as soon as they are not working, people quit and get out of them. In a marriage, it takes a lot of work, even for couples that are truly in love and committed to each other - it is still hard work. So.... if you are already having problems while just dating, it probably is not a relationship that will last. Lastly, I do not now your age but if you are young, enjoy life, enjoy friends, enjoy your family (as boring as that may sound) grow in your religion, sing, dance, travel, try something new, believe in yourself - don’t spend so much time forcing a relationship to work. There are so many things in life people miss out on because for some reason, we all think we “have” to center our thoughts, energy and time around being in a relationship. Look in the mirror and know that you are so worth it and that one day you will meet that special someone that doesn’t have to question if they want to be with you or not! Thanks.
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