Member Since: May 11, 2011
Answers: 4
Last Update: August 9, 2012
Visitors: 655
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i went on a date with a really cute and older guy.
we got drinks- the first one he paid for and the second he culdnt afford and had to awkwardly ask me to pay for it myself.
he didnt mean anything by it it was a honest he couldnt afford to buy mea drink! hes a waiter and doesnt have a lot of money at moment, so its understandable- however i am still turned off.
OTHER than that we had an AWSOME time but i cant get over how he couldnt afford to pay for my 8$ drink.
i told him it was werid and he owes me.
am i weird for thinking this is such a red flag? i really like him but im insulted by how he asked me to pay! (link)
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This is a very odd situation. He should have told you beforehand he could only pay for one drink. Irresponsibility is unattractive.
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[Long question, I know, but I felt I had to give you enough details to really know what I'm talking about. I'm being 100% genuine and would extremely appreciate help because I have nobody else to talk to about this and it's just.. I can't even describe how I feel]
My older sister became sick 3 years ago, with some kind of mental disorder.my family has no history of mental illness, and my sister had been fine all 16 years before. in fact, she was on the track to going towards her dream school, stanford. she always did really good at school and everything, so she wasn't dull in any way. but anyways, she started becoming more reserved (and not fun and confident like she used to be) and hearing voices and then she'd act out by running away. like it really started one day when she was out at a store with my mom and she ran away and the police had to go find her. from that day she started going to a therapist. then one day she jumped through the window on the first floor of my house, in the middle of the night, and then from that day she started going to a psychiatrist, and started getting medicine for psychotic depression and schizophrenia. so from then, it's pretty much been crazy and really stressful on my family. like she'd act out in other ways and we had to stop her from trying to run away from the house a couple of times. one time me, my mom, and my cousin had to hold her down but it's like she had so much strength like she was on adrenaline or something. it was really difficult. and then when talking to her she often didn't make sense. after the window incident she went to a mental hospital for a month, and when she got back she went in school for a little, and then had to come out again. and then my family relocated to another state, cause of my dad's job. she stayed home for the rest of the year and repeated it at a new school and graduated and did really well, despite her situation. she even got a full scholarship to a good uni nearby, and partial scholarships to even more prestigious places (wellesley and smu). she went to the one nearby cause of cost and since it was so nearby, and had to drop out after it became harder to manage her illness with her schoolwork. like the medicines she was on would make her sleep too long, or not be able to sleep, and other side effects. my sister had been put on numerous different medicines from the time this all started, but none of them worked. none of them really improved things. all they did was cause side effects, like one of them made her appetite increase a lot so she gained a lot of weight, and she was skinny before. and other things, like high school was hard cause nobody knew what she was going through and could only see that she was acting funny. sometimes i wish i could go back and punch people or something, cause they didn't know anything about her and how this isn't truly who she is and everything. but yeah. i'm glad i finally graduated this year, i hated that place in general.
but in time, my parents found out that this whole thing that happened to my sister was witchcraft. my parents are from cameroon, and a lot of our extended family is in cameroon, as well as america and a few european countries. my dad is the most succeessful person in his family, cause he worked really hard in school and got a full scholarship to a top british uni, where he got up to his PhD. (excuse me for not giving too many details, this is already really personal for me to say, I don't want to get too specific on the internet, but I will share what I think is necessary with this question). my dad's family is polygamous (a normal thing from the past. it was a necessity, cause women didn't have opportunities to get educated. and we're christians, btw), so his family is pretty big. apparently someone in his family was jealous of him, and tried to kill him through witchcraft, but it ended up affecting my sister instead. my dad's family apparently has roots in witchcraft, with his dad being a wizard as well as a couple other people in his family. i know, it sounds crazy, cause I never thought such a thing could be real, but the more I learn about this, the more I, unfortunately, have to believe. (even a really good psychriatrist my sister had agreed with such a thing, cause she said that she had never had a patient like my sister before, who didn't respond well to any medication, so what she had could have occured from other means, and not naturally). my dad isn't a wizard, though. I don't know how that works, and my dad doesn't either, since he's not involved with that sort of thing. and by the way, my dad is a very good man. I feel extremely lucky that I got someone as hardworking and sincere as my dad (I like my mom, too, but I felt I had to defend my dad here incase due to his family, you were starting to feel negatively about him). but yeah, the guy who tried to kill him is his half-brother, and apparently he was angry over something stupid. my parents give a lot of money to relatives back in cameroon who need financial help, like they're not greedy or anything. sometimes my sister and I even gave clothes that didn't fit us anymore to relatives back home. I did so about 2 months ago, actually. so, this guy that did withcraft to my family was mad cause they were building a new house on the compound like more than a decade ago, and my dad decided to pay other building people for less money than he was demanding, cause he's also a builder person (contractor? sorry I don't know the word). but just to help the guy out, my dad also assigned him a role, even though it didn't mean he had to do anything. it was just a way so he'd get some money. but apparently he had been mad over that and jealous of my dad's success, I guess? so he did this bad thing to my family and it had been like.. under wraps for a long time. I don't know how my parents became aware of it.
so with all this craziness, my mom, sister, and I even tried going to see well known "miracle" people in brazil and nigeria, last year. nothing changed. so this year, my sister dropped out of college and went to cameroon to get helped by traditional healers. in cameroon now she's off her medicine, and apparently she's improving. that's where it's at now. i hope to god that it helps her all the way and she can become mentally stable and start to put her life together again here in america. and it's just so frustrating cause I can't talk to anyone about it and it's just caused so much stress in my family, and we didn't deserve this at all, especially my sister. i just want to be able to talk to her again like normal, like it used to be. i have a younger brother and now it feels like i have to act like the older sister and it's just weird. i really miss being able to talk and joke with my sister cause she's the only person around my age who truly understands me, cause my family has moved around (in different countries) a couple times, and especially with this new move, i just feel really lonely. its scary that instead of me looking at my sister as a role model she is now looking for me to be successful. all this craziness i'm sure has affected me negatively cause shes past 2 years have just been hell and i think i've been kind of depressed myself cause of multiple factors. not anywhere like my sister had, but i've even been to 2 therapists and don't feel too different. so i guess i'm causing all the ill in my life but it's like i'm allowing myself to self destruct for some reason and i dont know why. i hope i hadn't had witchcraft inflicted on me either. but idk i'm just going to have to try to fight whatever is causing me to do this on my own.
but yeah i just needed a place to share this, and while sometimes i've doubted my christian faith, cause i'm a pretty liberal person, and a lot of other liberal people embrace atheism, but with all this evil going on, how can i not believe in good? if the devil exists, and demons, doesn't that mean god exists, too? it's frustrating cause people act like witchcraft isnt a real thing but it's like.. i'm seeing this right now with my family. if my sister is cured by the traditional doctors then that will be the ultimate proof. it's just all weird, though. i just hate that guy in my dad's family for doing that. i dont understand what makes people evil. my parents give generously to people in need, when we don't even have to. like my family even doesnt go on big vacations or w/e like a lot of other americans do, despite us being really upper middle class. i'm just frustrated right now, and idk if all this mess has had an effect on my self esteem and that's why i've been doing self destructive things. and sorry this question is all over the place, but what am I supposed to feel? what does this all mean? i'm so confused and mad and frustrated in everything (link)
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Girl, my heart goes out to you. I'm assuming you're a teen just like me. Please email me and I will deff help you through this... I've been through something similar. Savannahs.iphone@yahoo.com
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I am about to be 15 and I've had sex. Should it hurt to wear a tampon? And how do Oh put it in and what's the best brand? Please help! Thanks so much. (link)
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No offense but if you've had seX you should know how to wear a tampon. It's basically a dick but smaller and made out of cotton and it's meant to stay in there for a while. Tampax and Kotex are good. Please have safe sex.
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Okay,
So at the moment I'm 17 but look 15. I want to change my image up abit partly to look older and also to be taken more seriously at college as I feel people judge me as I look younger.
I like the rock chick kind of look as it wont make me look so dreamy...what would anyone suggest I wear?! (link)
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I have a rocker chic style myself. TIP FOR NOT LOOKING LIKE AN IMMATURE child: don't wear gaudy jewelry/hair accessories or any other blingy items all at the same time. Keep it classy and simple. I like colored converses with shorts and a black or white v-neck. It's cute, and simple, yet it expresses my self and what I'm into. Big sunglasses are good to wear for this style. You can't go wrong with grey or blue jean skinnies and cute sandals or flats and a simple but cute top. I like to either curl or straighten my hair at all times. It gives me confidence and it adds a special asset to your look. Have you ever considered coloring your hair? Im naturally a brunette but I have two-toned blonde and dark brown hair. Blonde on top and brown on bottom. Mine is done by a hair dresser and is blended decently with a fringe bang. I'm not necessarily suggesting that color combination but whatever one you may r interested in. Its SUCH a great new look and adds amazing confidence. Also, high waisted shorts with a shirt tucked in is a dressier but daring look. My best advice for you is dress in what you like and what makes you feel beautiful and confident. Confidence is key*
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