Member Since: January 6, 2009
Answers: 1
Last Update: January 6, 2009
Visitors: 335
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my wife pressured me into a big mortage and many other fininical areas.I know it was my fault for saying yes, but i could not handle the rentless pressure.Now i have lost almost evreything i had even my will to succede.I love her but not in love.i feel she has taken advantage of my heart.now she is trying to fix it but i dont want her to. I am lost in life what should i do (link)
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I think that people define being in love as that romantic passion feeling they get usually the first few months of the relationship. I read in a article that we actually produce some sort of hormone that helps to create that feeling, you know the no need of sleep or food, the person is perfect no matter what they do kind of thing......eventually that feeling fades and thats when we have to commit to loving the person we are with anyway, for real. For me to love is a choice, a decision we make. When we choose to love we decide to look at the other person in a positive light and we back up those thoughts with positive actions. To love someone is to always want the best for them, to protect them, to put there needs before your own. Kind of like deciding to be selfless. As soon as we decide to be selfish, That is when we choose not to love and problems begin to appear.
I think when people say they left the marriage because they fell out of love.It is just another excuse.
Sometimes we may get into a place in which we are having difficulties seeing the positive in the other and we may not feel so loving towards them, that is when we have to dig down deep inside ourselves, stay committed, do some self inventory, and re-commit to the relationship. I think if you once loved someone in the way you needed to in order decide to marry them, those feelings can always be re-established as long as you both commit to do so. Its always a choice. i recommend a marriage counselor. God Bless!
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