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Hi.
So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now. We're both 18 and have both almost finished our first year at University. Recently I've become very unhappy. I lost all my friends due to something really stupid and also because my boyfriend and I pretty much live in each others pockets, so I was always blowing my friends off to be with him. So anyway, next year is the year where Uni students usually venture out into the flatting world. My boyfriend and I have been planning to live together for the whole year, all up until a few weeks ago when I realised maybe this isn't the best idea. We've been fighting a lot lately because of my insecurities (I get super jealous super easily). He always goes out partying with his friends and girls and I have to sit at home by myself. I get jealous because 1) I don't have any friends to party with like he does and 2) Because he's always with girls.. So anyway I came up with the idea of moving to a different University in a different town, to be on my own and away from him so I could make friends without having to worry about turning my friends down to hang out because I'd rather go home to my boyfriend. A week passed and I started thinking into it more and I thought maybe that's not the best idea after all. Because of my insecurities, I feel as though if I move away, he might cheat on me or our fighting will get worse because he's going out with girls and what not when I'm not there. The way I'm pretty much seeing it is if I move we will break up due to jealousy and if I stay, we could break up for the same thing. Difference is, if I move, I'll have a better chance at making friends and getting my independence back..If I move, I could also lose him.. I just want to know what other people think, should I stay at my current Uni and live with him or should I move and so long distance for a couple of years?
I hope this makes sense! =S

I used to have the same problem with my current relationship. I was so insecure, no friends to hang out with while he is out partying with friends and girls, lost track of my friends... my world completely evolved around him.

I am happy that you are now in that stage, you are starting to realize that you are missing something in your life and you are now longing to gain your independence and have friends again. I understand that right now, you are afraid that if you start having your own life back you "might" lose him.

Talk to him...make him aware of how you feel, let him know of your intentions and don't be afraid to share your fear of losing him. The next part is crucial... after letting him know of these things, he must be able to assure you that, no matter what your decisions are, you won't lose him, that you have his full support. In that way, if you will pursue transferring to another Univ., then you won't feel afraid of losing him. You would also appreciate your time together as you won't be able to see each other often. But the effort of being together mustn't come from you alone.

Now if his reaction, after telling him of your intentions and fears, then maybe you should consider other options.

Time apart from the person we love is healthy, we tend miss them and appreciate time together. Strengthen the relationship and make us not end up with the wrong one. It also helps us not lose our own identity.


"The scariest thing about distance is that you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget you."
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

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Me and my boyfriend have been back together for 2 months now. After the birth of our child he broke up with me because I wanted to go to a concert event. Long story short he was with a girl he cheated on me with a year earlier. I wasn't aware how serious it was... But anyways. I'm still really not over it. He cheated on me while I was pregnant which I didn't know. He cheated on me 3 times before I ever got pregnant. In addition to being with the girl he cheated on me with he had sex with 2 other girls he let disrespect me on twitter. Also he lets his ex girlfriend from where he used to live disrespect me on twitter and other way. We have a child together so that's why we are still even together. We basically stay together he depends on me to get to school. I love him but I just hate him so much. I'm always looking at that girls twitter I just can't get thoughts about him and other girls out of my head. I asked him to tell me everything and it just makes me so much more mad.

You need to get out of that relationship as soon as possible! He's disrespecting you. I know he said that he'll change and won't hurt you again but I believe that this isn't the first time that he has promised you those things, he has cheated on you for several times and let those girls hurt you. I understand that you are staying with him because you have a child together, but you have to realize that as your baby grow up the environment that you are in right now isn't healthy for him. You will find someone else who will treat you with respect and love you. You just have to be brave and move on.


“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.”
― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

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