Member Since: September 1, 2008
Answers: 2
Last Update: September 5, 2008
Visitors: 612
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Hi, my realationship is somehow difficult and complicated. It's hard to explain.
I met this girl 4 months ago. We officially went to bf and gf after 2 weeks or so. We had a great time, till I had to go back to europe. Before I left we decided that she moves to me to Europe to stay with me and learn german,...,...
The first couple weeks went great. She told me that she loves me all the time and that I'm so different and I'm the one. After like 6 weeks everything changed, she did not call that often anymore, she did not say I love you anymore. I know a long distance relationship is not easy, so I decided to fly over. She was very very happy to see me, she was so nice to me in front of all her friends. But the 2nd night she told me she loves me, but she is not in love with me, what does that mean? I know she is really really afraid of commitment, her earlyer b'friends did hurt her a lot when they broke up and they cheated on her and stuff. So I can understand that it is not easy for her. She told me she never going to trust a guy again. Also she told me she saw her ex boyfriend again and she does not know what she feels about him. I did not know what to say and we went on for the next day. We had another great week together, she always introduces me as her boyfriend and she tells me im cute and stuff. I could feel that she likes me. Before I left she also gave me her cloths for Europe with me and I met her mother and brother for dinner. Why would she introduce me to her family if she s not in love with me? I just do not know what to think, I'm somewhat confused. Maybe someone can give me some advice or advice. I can not talk about it with her, she blocks all the time.
She also told me she is really really afraid that when she is moving over that it will not work out and she doesn't know if she is ready to live with me, it's a huge comitment for her.
I mean I think there are signs that tell me, she is not loving you and she wants to break up. On the other hand she does always things that keep you on believe, oh, maybe she really cares and just doesn't want to show it because she doesn't want to get hurt when she goes 100% for it.
Thankfull for any advice, I will add some more input later.
Greetings from Switzerland
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Just talked to her on the phone. Sounded like everythin is allright. She told me she loves me and she's going to tell her boss that she quits in October next 2 weeks.
Sounded really excited about coming to Europe.
At the end of the phone she also told me, I love you honey.
I'm happy about that, but still confused about all this back and forth, yes and no stuff...
I try my best and go for gold :)
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Hi, my relationship is somehow difficult and complicated. It's hard to explain.
I met this girl 4 months ago. We officially went to bf and gf after 2 weeks or so. We had a great time, till I had to go back to Europe. Before I left we decided that she moves to me to Europe to stay with me and learn german,...,...
The first couple weeks went great. She told me that she loves me all the time and that I'm so different and I'm the one. I got a lot of emails and she was getting in contact with me all the time. After like 6 weeks everything changed, she did not call that often anymore; she did not say I love you anymore. She started to see her exboyfriend again, but she told me every time she saw him (why would she tell me that, if she would have feelings for him she prob. wouldn't tell me) She told me I just care about him, and he invited me to this and that. I know a long distance relationship is not easy, so I decided to fly over. She was very very happy to see me, she was so nice to me in front of all her friends. But the 2nd night we were talking about us. She always blocks and doesn't want to speak about it. I asked her what she feels for her ex. She was I don't know. The thing is, he's almost double her age and I think she doesn't know what that means if you ever want to have family or children (Of course it's possible, but just more complicated). They broke up because she thought they are too different and he never paid attention to her. Now, since he knows she has me, he calls her 24/7 even night time. I know he called all the time and she called him too when I was there. But I do not know what that exactly means, I told her I do not like it. She told me, I can't say what she can and what not (Which is true) I just don't like it. She was: He calls me once a day, that's it. The I asked her so, what's up with us? She told me she loves me, but she is not in love with me, she barely knows me and I went away for 2 months. She is not ready to move in with me she thinks, or she is just way to scared, she was, what if it is not working out? Also she told me she needs her free space, but she does not have that when she's living with me. Also I souldnt call her all the time, she feels controlled and needs space. I call her normally once a day, that's it, I do not think that is too much. what does that mean? I know she is really really afraid of commitment, her earlyer b'friends did hurt her a lot when they broke up and they cheated on her and stuff. So I can understand that it is not easy for her. She told me she never going to trust a guy again. I also started to think that she's maybe tying to protect herself by not letting her feelings out and trust, because she is afraid to get hurt again.
I did not know what to say and we went on for the next day. The next day a friend of her told me, you know she wants to argue with her boyfriends and she needs sometimes to be in a little fight. She always had bad luck with boyfriends, but he thinks that there are some girls they need that. The next day, exactly that happened (unplanned). We went out and in the middle of the party she told me, you know, we just had fun in the beginning, not more. I was like, what are you talking about! I know she was in love then with me, so why is she saying that. So I left and went drinking with one of her girlfriend. After a while I went back to de dancefloor and tried to dance with her. She blocked me off completely, so I left again and went back to drinking with some friends. At the end of the evening she jelled at me why I left the dancefloor and and and. The next day we went to six flags, in the car she was sooo angry about what happened yesterday. She told me she spoke with a good friend the whole night and she wanted to break up with me and though my stuff out of the apartment today. She told me: seriously, I do not think it's working out, we are just too different. But her friend could convince her not to break up and wait till the end of the week, because I just came over because of her. She hasn't broken up with me yet, and I'm back since 3 days. She also told me in the car that she normally does not give 2nd chances. I was like ok. Why is she giving me a 2nd chance when she doesn't know what she wants or feels? We had another great rest of the week. We had a lot of fun and I had the feeling she is happy with me and feels something for me, she liked to hug me and and and. So I thought there is something, otherwise she could just say, you know I break up. I could feel that she likes me. Before I left she also gave me some of her cloths to bring to Europe and I met her mother and brother for dinner. Why would she introduce me to her family if she s not in love with me? I asked her before her mom and her brother came to the restaurant, why are you bringing me to a dinner when you want to break up anyway. We do not have to do that. She was, I wouldn't bring you here if I would break up with you. (I ---> confused!)
The day when I was back in Switzerland she skyped with me and her mom and brother was around too. Why would she do that if she is not sure about us?
I just do not know what to think, I'm somewhat confused. Maybe someone can give me some advice or advice. I can not talk about it with her, she blocks all the time.
She also told me she is really really afraid that when she is moving over that it will not work out and she doesn't know if she is ready to live with me, it's a huge comitment for her.
I mean I think there are signs that tell me, she is not loving you and she wants to break up. On the other hand she does always things that keep you on believe, oh, maybe she really cares and just doesn't want to show it because she doesn't want to get hurt when she goes 100% for it.
I also think I souldn't call that much within the next few weeks, just to give her her space and to see. I'm just afraid that if I do not call, that she just thinks, okey that's it. No one calls so we just leave it like that. I called her on Monday when I arrived at the airport, then we skyped Monday night. Now it's Wednesday and I haven't heard from her. I know that is maybe just me, but I need a certain degree of commitment.
Thankfull for any advice, I will add some more input later.
Greetings from Switzerland
(link)
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Just talked to her on the phone. Sounded like everythin is allright. She told me she loves me and she's going to tell her boss that she quits in October next 2 weeks.
Sounded really excited about coming to Europe.
At the end of the phone she also told me, I love you honey.
I'm happy about that, but still confused about all this back and forth, yes and no stuff...
I try my best and go for gold :)
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