Member Since: December 9, 2015
Answers: 3
Last Update: December 9, 2015
Visitors: 515
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what are some songs to tell someone you are not interested? (link)
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Lyrics: "I appreciate that you like me, but I have to be honest and tell you that I don't feel the same way about you."
Artist: You.
Best of luck and hope everything works out for you.
Cheers,
Hitch.
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He's amazing. He's the guy I've always dreamt of marrying. It's crazy how this happened. I had his business card and I meant to call him for something related to the business. i was given this card by someone else, so I hadn't met him in person yet.
I had no idea what this person looked like and I was imagining someone much older than me, someone like my parent's age or even grandparent's age! But, a thought entered my head that I just laughed off. The thought was very clear. This is the guy that you are going to marry. I thought this was the most ridiculous thing I could ever think. Especially because I imagined him to be old enough to be my father. But... then, by pure chance, I met him in person... having no idea that he was the guy whose business card I had been given. When I met him, the world just stopped turning. And you could tell that it happened to both of us. I've never in my life felt that before. I thought to myself, he's so handsome and he has such a kind spirit. Then, the guy hands me his business card and I realize that it is the one that I already had! I was shocked! Ever since then, we've become very close friends, but you can tell that the attraction is mutual.
His mother and I have become the best of friends. We frequently go to each other's houses and have lunch together all the time. She's been the kind of mom I always wanted and the kind of mom I've never had. I was adopted at birth by a narcissistic mother. She is emotionally and verbally abusive. She meddles in every aspect of my life. She humiliates me and ridicules me. As a person whose adopted, I feel like I lost out on the chance of having a good mom twice. So, having her in my life as a mother figure has really meant a lot to me. This woman has answered the phone to me at the late hours of the night because I've been devastated and distraught by the arguments I have had with my mom. We are so alike. And he has even told me that in my character, I remind him of his mom. I couldn't feel anymore blessed that I've met these people by pure chance.
My mom, on the other hand, is completely and totally against this relationship happening. She claims that he is gay and that he is likely having a rendevouz with his friend, who lives with him and his mom. First of all... there is a legitimate reason as to why he lives there. it's not like one day he just packed his bags and knocked on the door. Second of all, everyone in this scenario is still in school, so money is a factor. But she claims that she had a "vision" about it in the bathroom. That's ridiculous. And I think it's really prejudice of accusing people of being gay just because they have a roommate of the same sex. I'm just flabbergasted by this whole situation. My mom has someone else in mind for me. This guy with a lot of money. He's really sweet and nice and we have a lot in common! For one, we both happen to be adopted, we have a lot of mutual friends in common, and he is a sincere gentlemen. I'm willing to go out on a date with him. That's all fine and dandy. But, she's pushing him down my throat because of the money and I don't like that. My feelings for guy #1 are real. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I think I'm in love. His family has made me his own and I love them.
This other guy's mom sounds really mean, just like my mom. I don't know that for sure because I've never met her, but what has been described to me. She definitely isn't the same type of person. Maybe I may change my mind. Maybe I could fall in love with guy #2 and maybe I'm wrong about his mom. I'm willing to give him a chance since I have the option to. But, I don't like him being pushed down my throat because of money! That's disgusting. And the fact that my mom is spreading rumors about guy #1 being gay and telling the WHOLE family. I hate that. I just want to feel my feelings in private. When I make a decision that effects my family, I will listen to their input. But, I don't need their permission to feel.
So, I have two questions:
1) How can I make my feelings for guy #1 more known? I mean, I can't just come out and tell his mom: Cynthia, I'm in love with your son! I would like to tell one of his friends to maybe get more valuable input by someone who knows him well. But, then I'm afraid that they'll tell him right away. I have to make things a little more obvious and move them along, but with a hint of subtle.
2) I need to make it known to my family that I'm tired of the mistreatment. That if guy #1 feels the same way about me... then I'm all for it. That I'm head over heels in love with him and I don't care what anyone says. That if I marry him, they can never speak to me again for all I care. I sincerely love him. I love him as one my best friends. And aside from that, I'm in love with him. I can't feel the same love for a group of people who treat me so badly. So, I'm not choosing this guy over my family because I'm some rebellious kid. I'm an adult and I'm choosing to be with whoever treats me with the love and respect I deserve.
I really look forward to your responses. Thank you
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1) First and foremost, you're 25. You know that the best way to find something out is to have a talk and better understand the other person. I would suggest having an honest talk with guy #1 and see where his head is at. There's no point of being subtle when you have guy #2 who is also interested in you (Who, it seems, you are also giving a chance to). As cliché as it may be, honesty is the best policy.
Meaning if guy #1 happens to not like you, despite you thinking the feeling between you and him was mutual, then you can move on (as difficult as it may be for you and hopefully this is not the case). However, this does not mean you cannot be friends with guy #1's mom because I'm sure she thinks of you as her own daughter by now.
2) IF guy #1 feels the same way about you, then let your family know about how you feel mistreated and that their loves pales in comparison to the love you've received from guy #1's family.
Most importantly, never marry for money. When money runs out or dwindles, love could be enough to keep a couple together. As rude as this may sound, your mother seems toxic to you and could end up being toxic to guy #1's family. And so, your second question was already answered since it is alright to pick guy #1's family over your own because it's your life and you deserve to choose to be with whoever treats you with the love and respect you deserve.
Best of luck and hope everything works out for you.
Cheers,
Hitch.
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I'm a college student who currently works as a nanny. I've been a nanny for the same family for about a year now and I've really enjoyed working for the Mom and really care about her, her son and pets. She pays me really well for not having to work very much and it's been perfect for my school schedule.
Before this I'd worked at several other places in either retail management positions or graphic design, but none of them worked out. Although I'm a good worker and very intelligent (straight A honors roll student) I've had a hard time with my past job positions. At my first job I did very well and was promoted to management in less than six months, but was forced to quit when I came down with a lung infection that caused me to be hospitalized for a while and took me some time to get back on my feet.
After that job affairs just went kind of south. I took three different retail positions, where I did well at the first, but was laid off six months into it. The second and third jobs I really had a difficult time with. I never seemed to know what I was supposed to be doing and when I requested further training, management at both places acted as though they didn't have time. I would wind up doing my job duties incorrectly due to this and would make myself look bad. The second job I was fired from after three months after I asked some coworkers to help teach me what to do (after requesting it from management and never getting it) and they taught me to do things incorrectly to get me in trouble. I wound up finding this out later on (from a neighbor who also worked there) and that it was because they felt like I was taking their hours.
The third job I was hired on for management and things started out well. Basic tasks were explained to me efficiently and I grasped them right away but then the more intricate (and also important) tasks would be skipped over as the manager didn't seem to want to train me in them or two other managers who were also hired on and quit quickly after. I hung in there but things just got worse, as people constantly quit I was left with more and more tasks to fulfill and just couldn't do it all. I started being held responsible for moving very heavy furniture and decor up and down ladders and onto displays and walls. I'm a very petite female that weighs less than 100 pounds so moving furniture was difficult for me and I was scared to death every time I had to climb an XL ladder to put things away in the attached warehouse on shelves that were 50 feet high. I quit after four months and lots of sprained ankles, swollen knees and cuts on my hands.
The next job was a web design job and I felt I did well there, but the job bored me to death and I wound up getting laid off three months into it after the company's profits took a nose dive and they let go of half the staff.
Then I got my current job which is my favorite job and much less stressful than the previous jobs I took. I love being a nanny and I feel like part of the family as we're all very close.
Here comes the bad part: I'm transferring from my current small college to my dream school in a month, which is several hours away. I'm ecstatic to have been accepted and have also received a nice scholarship that will help with some of the expenses. I haven't told the Mom I nanny for yet as I still need a job (as I have a car payment and insurance to pay) and I loathe the idea of having to find another seeing as how badly my past jobs have gone. I've been waiting as well just in case something falls through and I wind up not being able to go. I want to at least keep this job until the end of the month to save up as much money as I can, but by not telling her I'm taking away time she could be using to find a new nanny. If I do tell her I realize she'll be hiring on somebody new and I'll probably lose out on the money I could have saved up until the point I move. I don't want to be selfish though and leave her high and dry by keeping this job until the very list minute.
I don't think I can continue working for her after I move. It's just too long of a distance and even if I made the drive I don't think I'm going to be available for multiple day stays like I can do now (as I go to school and live locally to her so I just stay at her home and then leave to go to school for a few hours and then come back). I'm also taking on a double major in January so my work load is going to be crazy. I'm also afraid I won't be able to find anything in my new city or at least nothing before bills start coming due, in which case I'll need this job...augh what do I do?! (link)
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I hope you know that you're kind and caring for taking into account the mom's situation.
Most importantly, imagine if you were the mom and were left last minute to find a nanny as great as you. It would be unreasonable to have the mom do that, even when you can make good money.
It's courtesy. Yes, she needs you, but you need her for the time being as well. Let her know as soon as you can and also look for a new job near your school or, in fact, you can find jobs within your school that will allow you to pursue your double major, while being able to pay your bills.
Moreover, the employers within schools will not treat you as bad as your previous jobs and you can make friends with your co-workers who are students just like you.
I worked all throughout university and was able to pull off my specialist and double minor, so you definitely can do it too.
Best of luck and hope everything works for you.
Cheers,
Hitch.
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