Member Since: June 23, 2019
Answers: 7
Last Update: August 30, 2019
Visitors: 990
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Thank you for reading my question.
I am just confused and will like some help on gender identity. Here we go….
I have been assigned the gender of a girl, but I don't always feel that way. Before you start to think "Transgender?", let me get to a point.
For example, one day I feel feminine. I look in the mirror and I absolutely love my body. But the next day I look in the mirror and I hate it so much. (Wait, I'm not done yet.) Then the day after that, I look in the mirror and I don't really care. As in, I don't feel feminine or even masculine. That was just an example. Each feeling could last a few days at the most.
Sometimes, and this just makes it more confusing, I want to wear makeup while wearing a tomboy outfit. Or even the other way around. I want to wear a dress, but no makeup.
This might seem like normal, but I am just very confused on my gender. I think I have one, but sometimes I feel like I don't. But I know that I'm not agender. Please help me.
Thank you so very much. (link)
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How old are you? That makes a difference, because when humans reach puberty, and in the decade after we do so, we have many changes in our brains, and in our bodies, with new urges and hormonal realities and we have many changes in our moods that can cause the confusion about how you feel that you describe. Just because you have days when you feel more womanly or less so, or more masculine or less so, does not necessarily mean that your gender identity overall is confused.
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does a woman vagina get wet when flirting (link)
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If you are turned on, you might get wet while flirting. If you are flirting just because you like attention, you might not.
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There is a cute guy from my school that I have been texting a lot recently. He asked me if we could go out sometime and catch a movie. The only problem is, I’m not sure if my mom would let me. Me and my mom have never talked about if I am allowed to date or not, so I am scared to ask. What is a good way to figure out what she thinks about it without scaring her into saying no? And even though I don’t know him that well, if all else works out, should I go out with him?
I am about to turn fifteen and I’m in freshman year of high school. I am a girl.
(link)
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As Dragonfly advises, please talk to mom. There can be no understanding and respect without honest communication. As long as you approach your mother with respect and honesty, it is likely you can reach a mutual agreement about a reasonable way for you to spend time with the guy you want to date. You might have to allow your mother to come along for the first few times, you might need to have him over to the house first -- it is reasonable for her to want to know who he is and whether you are safe. She loves you and that is a good thing. Offer her the opportunity to tell you her perspective, and tell her you want to be honest and open with her -- that melts a mom's heart. It is our greatest desire that our children will be able to tell us the truth and that we can earn it by loving them as well as letting them be free. Good luck! :~)
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Ok, this is a follow up to one of my past questions. My "friend" is acting really weird. In my other question, I explained how my "friend" has been leaving me whenever she sees someone cooler than me, and how it made me feel really bad. I thought the issue was getting better, but it ISN'T. Recently I went to see our local school's play, and she came with me. We got there, and soon after arriving, my sister left to sit with her friends. Just as the play was about to start, "friend" got up and walked over to my sister.I thought she was just saying Hi, but she never came back. Yep, that's right, she ditched me for my SISTER, and acted like everything was fine afterwards. Even my other friends began doubting if she liked me at all! I thought the issue was over, and now it's summer. "Friend" hadn't invited me over since the last day of school, and I thought we were finally drifting apart! Nope. She invited me to the mall and I accepted, only to realize she only invited me because nobody else was free. It only gets worse. "Friend" has a joke with my sister that they are "best friends". My sister came along, and right off the bat, "Friend" asks if she can sit by her "best friend" instead of me. she ends up sitting by me, but the whole ride she didn't even talk to me. When we got to the mall, she started trailing behind my sister and refusing to move. She refused to go to the stores I wanted and only wanted to go where my sister was going. I ended up hanging with "friend's" sister (who is actually cool) but it made me sad. We finished shopping, and arrived at the car. I started to hop in the back where I used to sit, but found "friend" sitting by my SISTER instead of ME. I Sat by "friend's" sister instead of her, but when we finally got to my house, she ended this horrible trip by screaming "BYE BEST FRIEND" and waving to my sister instead of me. Now I know this isn't just a one time thing, and it made me feel really bad. I have the worst conscience, so I don't want to tell her I don't want to be friends anymore. What do I do??????! (link)
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Again, Dragonfly is on point. Friends by definition are not being nice to you only when others are unavailable. There is a fidelity of loyalty. It is important to have your own boundaries on what kind of behavior is worthy of your attention and loyalty. Conscience is supposed to nag you when you have been disloyal or hypocritical -- NOT make you feel guilty when you are treated badly and call it like it is. Be brave and refuse bad friendship. If she doesn't approve that you have your own rules about friendship rather than accepting whatever she gives you -- well, that is not something that should trouble your conscience. :~)
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I am a girl in high school
I’ve been talking to a guy from my school for a while now. He has been really open and honest with me. He wants to go on a date with me. It’s been moving really fast. But he had a girlfriend a month ago. I don’t want to be a rebound if he’s just looking to have someone. So is he just being desperate wanting a date or is this real? (link)
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Dragonfly is on point. The best way to check whether he is playing you, vulnerable and desperate, or seriously interested, is to go slow with the romantic part of it and keep it on a genuine level of support and genuine care without moving into the romantic/sexual realm right away. If he becomes impatient and pressuring about physical involvement, then you know that it is rebound and not a genuine interest in you. Respect for his former girlfriend as well as you would generally involve a waiting period of grieving and moving out of his emotional connection with her.
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Hey, I'm not really good at anything. I don't know what course should I take. I'm thinking of taking up Engineering but I'm not really good at Math. I want to be successful and I really want to travel the world. What should I do? Send help :xx I really feel pressured. : (link)
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Engineering requires a very high level of interest and competence at math. So it is interesting that you are thinking of taking that up while not being good at math. Why are you interested in Engineering? If because of family pressure or a pressure that doesn't match your own gifts and interests, you need to think about what you enjoy and excel at doing -- whether it be building with your hands, or researching history, or whatever. Your own interests and talents should inform your choices of career or courses -- otherwise you are not likely to succeed, because success requires time and effort. Why do you say you are not good at anything? You should think about what you care about and enjoy doing. To be successful, you need to practice and work hard so you need to want to do that or you'll be discouraged and quite. So choose something you care about, invest in it, and then you will succeed. If you have no idea what that might be, I recommend doing Peterson's self-authoring exercise to help you figure that out. https://www.selfauthoring.com/self-authoring-suite
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My mom has been trying to help me get a volunteer position at her health job but I have been waiting for almost a month for them to communicate with me. Today they finally did only to tell me that they lost my immunization form. I just thought that was so unprofessional and it puts me at an inconvenience because I would have to pay my doctor to fill out another one for me. Why should I have to pay when it is not my fault? I told my mom I don't want to volunteer anymore and I feel bad for putting her in this position but this just shows me what kind of people they are if they can easily lose important documents and have me waiting almost a month with no updates if I got accepted or not. (link)
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My experience is that volunteer work is never efficient. When you volunteer, you generally are signing up for an inefficient, "best we can do" kind of situation because no one is paying for efficiency. So take that in stride. It is not personal. The important thing is that you are trying to volunteer your time and expertise to help others. Good for you! Generally, if you haven't heard anything from a place in a week or so, it is best to follow up personally. If you go meet the people, and explain you are interested in helping, you create relationship and trust, and that is better than forms. Without knowing a whole lot more about the situation, my advice is to go into the place and talk with the person live at the desk, explain what happened with an open mind and no blaming spirit. Let them see your willingness to contribute to their cause -- they are likely then to jump in and try to solve the problems. Good luck! Thanks for volunteering :~)
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