Member Since: July 28, 2019
Answers: 1
Last Update: August 1, 2019
Visitors: 267
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Hello, I’m posting this for some help
I don’t know what to do, I’m usually expert in relationships but this time I have no clue.
My bf and i were friends for 7 years maybe more, and we’ve been dating for a years. He has depression and yes I knew that since I was his friend and I chose to be his gf and future wife although he told me many times that his depression makes him feel that he is not capable of getting marry. We’ve discussed this, since we are in ldr I told him not to propose unless he is sure 100% and will never hesitate about it. He came to my country and the country I’m living in is hard to enter but he made it, he proposed and I said yes. We were happy beside his episodic courses he is a gentleman and all my friends agree with it. Last time I went to his country I lived with him for about 3 months we were so happy, i always understand that he needs space when he is depressed and he got depressed only twice while i was with him which is surprising since he gets episodes more than once per month. Our plan was that he moves to my country and to get married next year we agreed on this since he proposed, but I came back to my country and he was acting weird saying my condition is bad, i wanna be alone, i did understand that he might felt overwhelmed about marriage and these stuff, i discovered that I’m the only one who doesn’t want to talk to her, he calls and meets his friends, and when I call him he says I wanna be alone, which means i don wanna talk to you right? My friends told me he was with u all the time and suddenly you r not there of course he will feel bad and don wanna talk to you , and honestly I felt the same, i felt so weird to get back to ldr i cannot imagine that he is 15 hours far from me, i wanna be with him and I felt i don wanna talk to him manny times it felt so weird. The problem was I knew that its just temporary and I’ll get back to normal, but he didn’t. He said to me , babe I just wanna breakup i don feel happy, i wanna be alone forever, you need to meet someone who truly makes you happy, i dont. I felt that he is so depressed thats why he said so, he was a little angry and he was drinking when he talked to me ( he was never rude to me) I asked him r you drunk he said no!!! He said i wanna live with what I want to . I told him that I do understand what he feels and I’ll not leave you and I’ll come to you just wait me. I’m planning to go there in December, I cannot go earlier I hope if I can, he did not talk to me since he told me about the breakup which is about two weeks. Is it really his depression or he truly wants to breakup? How can I know ?
Please i need your advice , help me.
Should i talk to him or just live him be?
Excuse my English its my second language (link)
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Thank you for your answer, I really appreciate it. I got your idea and that exactly what I was thinking, I cannot handle marring him while he is suffering from depression so I decided If he did not get the treatment I won’t marry him.
Yes, he saw many doctors and they gave him medication each time he visits a new dr he says the same thing, just take these medications and u will be fine. He told me that he took the medications but non of the it helped him to overcome the depression so he said i cannot trust any doctor anymore. His Doctors were bad, they just gave him medications but did not listen to him, i think he needs both medications and someone to talk with who can get him out of this situation, I searched recently about cognitive behavioral therapy and I told him about it, but he is not convinced saying that my situation has no answer and I will just leave like this forever. He has been suffering from depression for about 7 years or less as he said, but I think he had some kind of mental illness before, since he told me every time he gets depressed he keeps thinking about his abusive father and how he was physically abused by him in his childhood. I don know how to convince him to go, as I said i came back to my country so we don’t see each other but I’ll go to him in December. i just sent him a message saying how u doing? But he didn’t read it.
And about the medication, he was taking one before I go, but he stopped it. So when I was with him i gave him the medication by myself and as I said he did not have episodic coures as much as he did before. The problem is i don know if being in ldr affecting his depression or not, or he truly doesn’t love me anymore
Thank you again for your answer
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