It may not be the answer you want to hear, but if you're here looking for answers and can handle the truth told straight, clear and true, then you're in the right place. There's a right and wrong on pretty much everything, and for those moments when its all just one big shade of gray, you've got me, AppleAnnie, non-judgemental, unshockable, utterly truthful. No question too big or too small, and I reserve the right to admit at any time that I have no idea on how to answer your question, although more likely than not, I will ALWAYS have an opinion. What can I say?
It's in my nature...
Welcome, and fire away.
Gender: Female
Age: 38
Member Since: January 1, 2010
Answers: 4
Last Update: January 1, 2010
Visitors: 1294
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Random Weirdos
View All
|
| |
I'm a teacher in my twenties who recently went home for the holidays to spend some quality time with my parents. Upfront, you should know that my parents are VERY strict and conservative (always have been)--which is why I was shocked beyond belief when I discovered on my parents' computer that there were recent searches for porn videos. I'm assuming it was my father, because my mother rarely uses the Internet and many of the search phrases involved "underage girls" (which is the most nauseating part). Now, everytime I look at my father or speak to him, I can't get the image of those words out of my head. My relationship with my father has never been strong, and this hasn't helped our situation at all (mainly because I feel like my "conservative" father who always looked down upon sex and immoral behavior is such a fraud now). I don't know if I should tell my mother, confront him, and/or just keep my trap shut and push this whole thing out of my mind. Am I overreacting here?
Sincerely,
Disturbed Daughter (link)
|
Say Nothing. Leave a note, or mail it to your dad, with the instructions for how to clear the browser and lock his files. Don't sign the note, he will know it came from you anyway, but keep as low a profile as possible. If your mom isn't too computer savvy then he should be able to discreetly hide these photos in such a way that she'll never know. If your dad is doing something illegal I'll be honest: the law is coming anyway. With the crackdowns in child porn these days, if he's really downloading illegal materials (and obviously not too discreetly) it won't be long before they track him down. However, most of those "Barely Legal" sites use barely 18 year old models that are underdeveloped and resemble girls who are much younger, thats how they stay in business.
Understand that the internet creates a window for the curious to view and have exposure to the most secret and kinkiest of kinks in the privacy of their own home, and for most of the curious, thats enough. If you think your dad is in chat rooms with underage girls, or is indulging in anything other than viewing these materials, take him out for coffee and tell him what you know and why it has to stop. If he's just looking at kinky porn, I'm sorry to tell you this, but 99.9% of the men in the US are doing that, its normal, its kinky and its also absolutely none of your business. Protecting your mother is your #1 priority, and you can do that as discreetly and quietly as possible. I know you're conflicted but as long as he's not hurting anyone, its none of your business and you should refrain from judging him. My BF has porn on his PC, and I hate to say it myself, but I'm sure my father does too. I don't want to know, I don't ask, and I let them have some privacy without the burden of my opinion.
AA
|
|
Well, We have been together for 5 years and got married in November. He has been depressed since a week after the wedding.I think he is upset because I cant perform the sexual acts that he wants. He wants me to be with a girl so bad that if I dont "go out" with girls he will be silent for days.A week after the wedding it was all he talked about. I am quite a homebody. He is 45, I am 32. The fact is, I will never sleep with a girl. It was a thing of fantasy for us. He went as far as to text a girl from my phone for a coffee date yesterday behind my back and I cancelled, He is really dpressed now. And of course, everything is my fault. He downloads tons of porn,I have found 3 videocameras around my house, I know he is a sex addict,but he is in denial and wont get help. What do I do??Up until our wedding things were pretty great! He told me that he knows i am to "old" to be with a girl tonight and said young girls would do it. I think I am doomed. I am a very attractive woman I am not old, and very devoted to only him.He always makes comments that nobody wants him enough for him to cheat on me. I am so lost. HELP! (link)
|
Help? You want Help? Here it is:
You're a good looking 32 year old woman who just married a 45 year old sex addict. He tries to manipulate you into a sex act that you are uncomfortable with by throwing your age in your face and then mopes around laying on a guilt trip about not being attractive enough to cheat on you, and you're saying that after 5 years together this behavior started a week after the wedding?
Look, truthfully it seems like there's piece missing here. You say that his 3-way fantasy was a thing of fantasy for both of you? Was it also a promise that you made in hopes of getting him to marry you? If not, then what led him to think that this was something that you would entertain? you state that you are 100% against ever having an experience with another woman, which you have every right to do, but I find it hard to believe that after 5 years, you only began to breach this topic a week after the wedding. So it boils down like this: either you misled him into thinking that your married life together would include (or regularly include)a 3-way with another woman
OR
your husband has some kind of personality disorder (look up BPD and NPD and see if they fit). Control and manipulation issues of this nature are a huge RED FLAG, and that means DANGER. I hate to tell you what you don't want to hear, but you should know this already and if you were sitting in front your daughter hearing the same story from her, you'd want to tell her what I'm telling you right now:
Give your husband an ultimatum, get help or get out. If you need to be the one to leave, then tell him you're leaving unless he gets it together. This behavior is indicative of huge psychological issues and its pretty suspect that it didn't surface until after you were officially and legally tied to the man. Call me a skeptic or what you will, 5 weeks is nothing compared to a lifetime with a manipulative, videotaping sex addict. There may already be videos of you performing intimate acts on the internet. You're looking at a lifetime of controlling and amoral behavior, my personal advice is simply GET OUT NOW. If you can't bring yourself to do so, examine why not and any self esteem issues that are keeping you from doing so, issue an ultimatum and stick to it. He'll probably offer to go along with the program and then start back up with the behavior after he's decided he's got you fooled again. Being honest. And then you'll either have to leave or you'll knowingly enter a life with the guy that will resemble a living hell.
Don't know if you have kids but this is a good way to measure the situation:
Would you want this guy hooked up to your daughter?
Think about it.
AA
|
19/M
I have been a thumb sucker my whole life. My New Years resolution is to quit it for good. I am going to go cold turkey. If that doesn't work, what else can I do to help me quit? (link)
|
hi ThumbSucker,
I appreciate that you're out there making resolutions and trying to make the world a better place by doing so, but I'm confused. You don't state if you suck your thumb all the time of if it just happens in your sleep. Here's how I see it:
If you're walking around in broad daylight with your thumb in your mouth, then, yes, this is a problem. Ideally you're going to go out into the world and pursue an education, employment, and girls, and the thumb wedged in your mouth is going to be an impediment to success during college interviews, job interview and a buzzkill in those all important singles bars where you will be heading to meet chicks. You can try the mittens, the bitter apple, the cayenne pepper or whatever you think might do the trick. If none of that works, you might try a Hypnotist or Hypnotherapist, which can be helpful in helping to break other bothersome habits like smoking or overeating. Or you could just make a concerted and conscious effort to look at yourself in the mirror everytime you find yourself sucking your thumb. A lot of things will work, but it will take time and patience, there's no quick fix for a lifelong habit, so stick with it and you'll have success.
Now, on the other hand (pun intended), if you're sucking your thumb in your sleep and removing said thumb from your mouth upon awakening, I really have to say, who cares? I am a confirmed, 38 year old thumbsucker in a steady and committed relationship with a great guy who could care less that I suck my thumb when I'm sleeping. Any girl who finds you fascinating enough to sleep with will probably consider this to be a sweet and charming little quirk of your personality, which, frankly, it is. Why bother with a huge to-do of trying to change something that isn't harmful, has no bearing on your character and isn't seen by anyone other than those closest to you?
It's your thumb, don't let it get in the way of the rest of your life but you can suck it if you want to and it won't hurt a thing.
Have a great day
Thumbsucking AppleAnnie
|
|
Okay Well I Would like To Know What It Means When A Guy Eats You Out...And Thanks In Advance. (link)
|
Well, I see that this question was posted about 13 minutes after the ball dropped on NYE, and given my life experience I'm assuming that you were "up against it" and needing an answer pretty quickly, Good For You! I hope that you got it all figured out in the space of several minutes and had a very Happy New Year.
Just in case you didn't, when a Guy eats you out, it generally refers to the administration of oral sex, male to female, otherwise known as Going Down, Eating Your Peach, Carpet Munching, Muff Diving and by a variety of other cheerfully crytic names all referring to the act of Cunnillingus. This is when a man pleasures a woman with his lips and tongue, hopefully after dinner and cocktails but equally as fun in the backseat of the Mercury as long as his attitude is in the right place. I'm hoping that you're over 18, that he's a clean and decent fellow who knows that his place in life is nestled between your legs making you the happiest girl in the world over and over and over...
It should be fun, it should be easy, and you shouldn't think twice about lying back and allowing yourself to receive it. Of course, if he's really bad at it, I would assume (also from life experience) that he's not exactly a superstar at anything else, explain that you need to get home to feed your cat, and have him drive you back to your car asap.
My Two Cents,
AA
|
|