ask Annie



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



I'm a rather queer person, in more than one sense of the word. It seems that I've been specializing in relationships, and although I haven't had any "successful" ones myself, I think I can offer a bit of insight into them. I know a little about a lot of things, so, if you're curious, go ahead and ask. I've been a girl scout for about 11 years which has provided me with a background in camping skills, marketing, fitness, hygene, reading, earning stuff, ettiquette, and people skills. Ask whatever you want, no questions will be rejected unless they are terribly offensive.
Website: My Journal
E-mail: espion_chic@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: San Diego
Occupation: student
Age: 17
AIM: superannie44
MSN: espion_chic@hotmail.com
Member Since: February 17, 2004
Answers: 19
Last Update: May 25, 2005
Visitors: 1328

Main Categories:
Love Life
Etiquette
Random Weirdos
View All

It looks like you haven't given advice for a while now, but I thought I'd give it a shot.

I'm coming to the end of my highschool years and one of the years I didn't do so hot in a class and got a "D". I talked to the teacher at the beginning of the 2nd semester and she said if I did the work, then she would change my grade. I was assigned a project to do, however I haven't had the chance to get around to doing it and we only have 1 month of school left. If the grade doesn't change, I won't be able to go to the college I want to!! I'm still planning on doing the project, but I'm afraid that the teacher won't accept it. Should I do the project as well as other self-assigned works and just pray to GOD that she accepts it or what?! (link)
Have you tried talking to your teacher? Did she give you a deadline for when the project needed to be completed by? If not, I would just do the project and turn it in like it isn't a big deal. On the other hand, if there was a deadline, and you missed it, I think that before you waste time by completing the project you should talk to her to make sure that she'll still accept it.
Good luck!


i keep telling people that i'm going to kick them, and they just laugh at me. do you think they are suggesting that i am not a hxc gangster, and that i'm not tough? because if they are i'll just have to busta cap in their ass and mess them up. if this continues, i'll kill them. they just don't get that i'm really a very crazy and person and i have the potential to kill someone, very easily. i would even say it could be done with just my pinky finger. how would i go about convincing people that when i say i'm going to stab them, or kill them...then i mean it?
thanks yo! (link)
Well, when you threaten to kick these people, do you actually do it? Maybe once they see that you're serious when it comes to violence, they'll realize that you are in fact an "hxc gangster" and not laugh at you.

In order to really get people to fear and respect you, it is necessary to use what Machiavelli called the "economy of violence." This simply means that you must mess people up enough that they fear you, but not make them mad enough to bust caps at you while you sleep.

Good luck, you x-core gangsta, you!


Hey well my favorite cousin said she was coming to visit me (She lives in TX and i live in San Diego CaLi) Ok well I am UsaLLy happy bout these things but last time she came to visit me i had skool and like she'd always make me late cuz she'd always bug me all night and i couldent sleep..i also couldent do ne homework! she said she can visit 4 up to 15 dayz and thats s0 long and im a sophmore now and if she cumz im gonna so do bad in school for 2 weeks!! and its really hard 2 catch up at my school cuz we onli take 3-4 classes a semester so we have lots of crap to do and its just not gonna work but i luv my cuz but how do i tell her i dont want her comin? cuz she like wants to come sooo bad and she cant in the summa..and she really really likes san diego(well duh its awesome haha!) and so yea how do i tell her i dont want her coming? thanks!!! (link)
I think what you really should have been asking me for was advice on how to type and spell.

Fortunately, I'm well versed in internet lingo and chat speak, so I could sort of decode your question.

If your cousin cares about you and your grades, you should be able to tell her that her staying with you would be a distraction. Winter break is only a couple of months away, suggest she come then.

If that wouldn't work, why don't you try telling her that if she stays with you she has to respect your need to get to school on time and do your homework. If she's able to visit you for two weeks she must be out of high school, so she should be able to entertain herself without having to keep you from your responsibilities.

If all else fails, you could just tell her that she can come, but can only stay for a few days. Fifteen days is quite a long time for someone to just invite themself over for. She should understand.

Good luck.


i burned myself. my finger to be exact.
is my finger going to fall off?
what should i do in case of this?
will i be able to write missing a finger key in holding a writing utensil?
and if not, how will i get anywhere in life?
i need help in more ways than i can count, oh wise one. (link)
Well, it sounds like you're in a rather uncomfortable situation my friend. I doubt your finger will fall off, if anything, a doctor of sorts may have to cut it off, but I doubt the burn is that bad if you're asking for advice rather than running to the emergency room. If your finger does need to be amputated, you may want to consider getting a wooden one (or plastic for ease of cleaning) like Margot from the Royal Tenenbaums. This may actually be very sexy. At least I would think so.

In the meantime, while you're deciding whether or not to see your nice friend the doctor, you may want to run some cool water over the burn and perhaps, if you have it, put some sort of "burn aid" gel or spray on it.

Best wishes for a swift recovery.


i like a guy and he likes me. the only problems are that hes 2 years younger than me and he is alos my friends younger brother. i dont know if i should tell him how i feel or just stay friends. PLEASE HELP ME! your the coolset ever and my only hope is you and your answer!! (link)
I think that you should tell him how you feel. But, before doing so, weigh the consequences of your actions. How will your friend feel about you and their little brother "getting together". Which is more important to you, friendship or romance? Regardless of this, you should probably tell this guy how you feel only because talking to him about it may help you to better evaluate your options.

Good Luck.


so, yeah, hi. i have a question. so, i'm on a diet...and i'm thinking of never eating one single bit of food ever again in my entire life! one of my EX-friends told me that this was a not so good idea. why can't they just support me and love me for who i am!? i told them that they were a fool and that the advice lady would know what to do! so, advice lady? will never eating again kill me? and if so...how fast?

thank you ever so much advice lady! (link)
Well, number one: the name's Dr. Annie, not advice lady thankyouvermuch.

Now, your problem. Well, I think you should maybe eat something. I know, I know, you're fat. Well, sorry to say it but, not eating will probably kill you faster than eating three (or more) meals a day at Mc Donalds will so you may as well go for the gold and eat all you want while you still have the ability to do it.


k, same person, let's give me a name, leslie, that works, im scared to talk to this person about my feelings, not really SCARED but you know its hard the explane cause if they felt the same way about me than maybe they would have said something to me already am i right? i hate this weird place im in. (link)
Okay, Leslie. Well, have you ever thought that if they feel the same way as you, they're also nervous about telling you because they also assume that you'll have said something already? I know this is easier said than done (because I definitely would have a hard time telling someone this) but I really think that you should just tell this person how you feel. I mean what makes you think that they wouldn't feel the same way about you? They probably do. In fact, it would be almost impossible if they didn't. What do you really have to lose? Nothing. You have absolutely nothing to lose so just go for it. Congratulations. (I'm congratulating you now becasuse I know you're going to do it, and when you do, congratulations will be in order.)


this is the same person that aksed the last question. i did meet thi person on the net. i know you said that you can love somone that you meet on tha net. i really think thats true but im still wondering if i can be IN love with soomeone. i cant find anyone who has had actually experience with something like this so im wondering if its just i dont know. im confused. if you could help that would be good thanx (link)
This is just my experience, but I've never understood what the difference is between loving someone and being "in love" with someone. If anything being "in love" has a connotation of a love that won't last, like you love the person, but only for the moment. I think that if you can be "in love" with someone in person, you can be just as "in love" with someone online. Personally, I know and love someone online better than I do some friends that I've known for years in person, so I guess I do sort of have some actual experience in this area. I think what you really need is for someone too define what it means to love someone, so here's what dictionary.com has to say about it:

This is the definition of "in love":
1.Deeply or passionately enamored: a young couple in love.
2.Highly or immoderately fond.

This is the definition of "love":
1.A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2.A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

I hope that helped. I think that knowing whether or not you "love" or are "in love" with this person is pretty trivial. You feel the way you feel, defining your feelings may just cause confusion. All the same, I think you should talk to this person about your feelings for them. That might be the best way for you to figure out what it is that you're feeling.

Obviously, the word of the day is feelings.


i think im in love with someone iv never met in real life. is this possible? (link)
Hmm. It depends. Is this person a celebrity or someone you've never even communicated with? If so, I would say no and don't bother reading any further.

Is this someone you met online? (I'm assuming so) If so, I'm going to say yes, completely possible. If I knew what "real life" entailed, I could give you a better answer but seeing as I don't, I'll say that if you've had some sort of indirect contact with this person (e-mail, IM, telephone, letters, whatever)that it is possible that you might love them. I don't mean like 3 or 4 exchanged emails, but that if you have a real relationship where you feel genuinely close to this person, then it isn't out of the question that you might love them.





Hey annie, my name is sarah, you might remember me, I need to know how to make homemade paper....can you help?


much love. (link)
Why yes Sarah, yes I can! I would personally type out instructions, but this website gives excellent directions for making paper:

http://www.pioneerthinking.com/makingpaper.html

Good luck!


i think im in love should i tell the person that im in love with whats going on in my head about this we r pritty good freinds right now i dun want to mess ne thing up (link)
I think you should tell them. You may never know if they love you back unless you get your feelings out in the open. I don't think you should let your friendship stop you from telling them, if you are good friends, something like this should be easy to move on from, assuming they don't return your sentiments. Go for it, the least that could happen is that they don't feel the same way... which would suck... but you should tell them anyway.


i lik dis gurl n i think she liks me 2.she dusnt liv close 2 me. wut shud i du. i realy lik hur.it sux i met her on the net and we havnt even talked on da phone er anythin. (link)
I think that first you should do is learn how to type. I swear to god that if I get another question written like the one above, I will ignore it.

In response to your question, it really depends on what personal information you are willing to share with eachother. Keep in mind that you never know if the person you're talking to is really who they say they are, and you should be very cautious with giving out personal information. If you decide to exchange phone numbers, try to use a cell phone because it can't be tracked to your home (very easily). Maybe after talking on the phone you'll decide to meet, which I would like to emphasize, I do not recommend. If this is the case, bring a friend, or let someone know where you're going, and try to make the meeting in a very public place.

Good luck and be safe!


There is this girl I like. But I'm a girl too. And I know that this guy likes me a lot. I'm not sure if the girl likes me or what, and I really don't want to hurt the guy. I'm torn between them, I guess. What should I do? Go out with the guy, or just stare at the girl forever more. (link)
I have been in this very same situation more times than I can count! Do you like the guy? Feeling sorry for him is not a good enough reason to go out with him. You will realize all too soon that it is irritating to try to have a relationship with someone who likes you far more than you like them in return, and break up with him, therefor hurting him more than if you would have just rejected him initially. And you don't have to just stare at the girl forever more. Talk to her, get to be friends with her. If you find that she doesn't like you the same way you like her, you'll still have her as a friend, which might be even better.


k, long story. me and my cousin are online and some girl im's us, and we are bored so my cousin says,pretend you are a guy. so i did it. and it was funny i guess. then i kept talking to this girl because she was cool, and i forgot that she though i was a guy so i kept on with the friendship and her thinking i was a guy and now we have been talking for a long time, a few years i guess. and im gay, and i have started really liking her a lot but i cant do anything about it because she thinks i am a guy and if i tell her i am not then the whole friendship will be ruined. i really dont know what to do or how to handle this. please please help me. thanks. (link)
Well, that's a toughie. Relationships are built on honesty, and by lying to her for your entire reltionship, you kind of screwed yourself over. I think that if you really care about her you should tell her the truth. If she's straight, the fact that you like her means nothing because, no matter what, she's not going to like you back. She deserves to know that you're not a guy. Putting off telling her will only make the consequences worse.


I am harbouring feelings for someone who is a bit older than me. Older than me as in it would be illegal to start anything, the age difference isn't horrible, but at the moment it seems a bit much. At least later on it wouldn't be as dramatic as it seems now.

Anyway, everyone has their ideal person in their head. And it seems that this person fits all of my...criteria, if you will.

I'm not exactly sure what to do with my situation. At the moment this person is too old, but my feelings are so strong. I see it as wrong, in my mind, to harbour feelings but I can't help it. I have a decent friendship with this person at the moment but nothing more, as it should be. My fear is that life will continue on and this person will find someone else without have ever knowing how I felt or giving me a chance (at least when it was okay to have started anything.) (link)
Well. I truly don't believe that you can choose who you love, or even who you're attracted to. I think that you realize that your best option is to tell this person how you feel, otherwise, you will never know if they feel the same way about you. Perhaps you should begin by dropping some hints, in order to find out how this person would feel about dating a (significantly?) younger person. That way you won't risk severe embarassment, or damage to your friendship. If you're willing to make a more blunt approach, you will get a more direct answer, but that would mean risking your ego and your friendship. Good luck, and don't worry too much. If you two have mutual feelings, it will work out regardless of age. Unless, this person is so much older that that... well... if they are closer to your parent's age than your own, I'd not take any steps further and ignore all of the above advice. Good luck, and be careful.


I was walking home from school today and I look on the other side of the street and there is my teacher. Not wanting to start a conversation, I avoided eye contact. Then several blocks later he turns. He does not live in the area. I think it is safe to assume that he is planning some kind of caper. Should I confront him? (link)
That's rather odd. Is your teacher the kind of guy who normally plans "capers" (which dictionary.com informed me are "frivolous escopades or pranks")? Do you think that perhaps he was visiting someone who does live in the area? If you know the teacher pretty well, and feel like you're able to joke around with him, there should be no problem with casually bringing up to him that you say him driving in your neighborhood. If he doesn't seem terribly alarmed at the fact that you noticed him, it would be permissable to ask what kind of an errand he was on.


i like this girl, i think she knows i like her but we dont live near each other and im pretty sure she doesnt like me back.i know a lot of her friends to.i realy like her a lot but i dont know what to do.i dont want to straight foreward tell her that i do.lol, what should i do. i think about her all the time.i know this may sound weird but i have even had dreams about her.please help.thanks. (link)
Well, I think your first step should be to find out if she likes you back. If you don't want to straight out tell her that you like her, or ask her if she likes you, have one of your mutual friends drop hints, or ask her for you. Also, how far away does she live. If its so ridiculously far away that you would never be able to see eachother, it may not be an excellent idea to start a relationship with her.

And no, its not weird that you've had dreams about her. If she's on your mind a lot, that's bound to happen.

Good luck!


Well Dr. Annie...I have this problem...There are two great loves in my life, one being pen, and one being pencil...i try to spend an equal amount of time with both but its just not working out. Who should i pick to accompany me on this nutty journey we call life? (link)
Well, my troubled writer, this problem has been bothering the best of us since the beginning of written record. Choosing between writing utensils is like choosing between children for some of us. Luckily for you, it is unnecessary to choose. Some tasks are best with a pencil, for example mathematics, while others, like letter writing, are really best with a pen. I would consider, for convenience's sake, purchasing a utensil that is both a pen and a pencil, giving you the best of both worlds.



There is a girl I like. She is awesome, smart, a little bit different. But I don't know her, and she is possibly a bit... prudish... how can I approach her? How should I proceed? What do girls like? (link)
Try to find out what the two of you have in common. If you have any mutual friends, have them interrogate her on what she likes/dislikes, her hobbies, ect. Prudish? She may just be a little reserved, give her some time and try to get to know her. It might be best to develop a friendship with her before attempting to ask her out or anything.

All girls like different qualities in guys, that's where your friends come in. Have them find out what kind of guys she's dated in the past, and possibly why it didn't work out.

Good luck!




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop

eXTReMe Tracker