ask AlanTipert

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hey, go to and read that profile. plus it has my super sexy body on it and not just that crappy old webcam pic. i'll copy the profile from there later.
Website: my BP profile, and my super sexy collage
Gender: Male
Location: Suburbs of Atlanta
Occupation: Jock
Age: 16
ICQ: icq is so out
AIM: AlanTipert
Yahoo: soccerjockey1717 (rarely on)
Member Since: May 18, 2005
Answers: 9
Last Update: July 7, 2005
Visitors: 905

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I am deeply in love with this guy named Alan..(Coincidence huh?) And hes soo hot, and sooo cool. I cant get enough of him. But i never see him. He lives 45 min away! its horrific! And theres another problem...hes starting to get close to my best friend and im sooo jealous. So heres my question..what can i do to make sure he will always pick me over her? I know he always tells me i have "senority" over her, but im still scared...Oh great and wise ruler of beyond...what oh what can i do?

Alan's troubled Lvr (link) can sum up all of a guy's wants/needs in three things: money, sex, and alcohol. Promise him some of these, perhaps. If you always have more to offer than the other girl, you can't lose, so make sure you do. Suck up to him and do whatever he says. And if you have any debts to clear with him, do that, too, however he says. Hope I helped =),


Well my X gf and i are still good friends. But in the past 3 months i have been talking to her best friend online a little. Cool chick. Then i met her one day like 2 weeks ago, at night. Me and all my friends always sneak out so yeah thats about the only time i get to see her. So me and her started hangin out at night, alot. Sometimes just us. Im not tryin to push things, i've only made out with her. But shes such a awsome person i always have a blast when im with her. But recently i got cought for sneakin out and got my car taken away lol. I get it back june 21, and my parents go outa town for a week on june 21. So yeah house to myself.. But see the girl i like also got caught sneakin out so shes now grounded to. Except she doesnt have a car, and got her cell phone and computer taken away so i have no way of getting in touch with her. I dont want this period of us not being able to talk, affect the progress we've made. But yeah i know she likes me because she has a boyfriend, but shes in the same situation i am, cuz i have a girlfriend but i like thsi other girl alot better. So yeah she had the opportunity to sleep over at her boyfriends house with like all her best friends but she choose to sneak out with me. Ok well anyways myu question is, is there any way to keep the "silence" from keeping us to drift farther appart. And basically whats the final step in making her mine once we do hang out. Ill rate high for any reasonable advice, and basically for reading this whole thing. (link)
ok first ignore what stephanie said. she's no fun lol
second, it's fine if you don't talk to her. it's called "giving her the gift of missing you." you'll finally get in touch with her again and she'll be into you more.

Well, there's this girl at school named Garrison. I can't keep her out of MY FREAKING HEAD! I was sleepless for two fucking nights just thinking about her face, and I can't stand it. I want to ask her out, but I'm too nervous. Please help. (link)
'nuff said.

you owe me for telling you that. i wish i knew about that place when i was 13 or however old you are.

basically, be self-confident.

I have a friend, David, and i like him more than a friend. Well, in design and technology, i asked my other friend Laura, why guys like me, and she said, ask a guy. So i asked David and he goes " wouldnt want to will get embarrassed". But i kept asking him to tell me and he goes "No". Then he told one of my friends about what I asked him, and she said "Are you sure theyre looking at your face?" and David goes "Yeah, are you sure theyre looking at your face?" and he keeps using my friend as an excuse. But i know that there is something else. Is it possible that he likes me more than a friend? (link)
what is your cup size, by chance? all of us guys are horny little freaks at that age, and you might own the very first pair of large boobs they've ever seen, or at least in real life and not in a porno.
does he like you? well, you can get him to do whatever you want really, it's kind of manipulative but yeah it sounds like if you're looking for your first kiss, you've got it, but he'd be preoccupied with your boobs the whole time. you could turn it into a relationship easily cuz he's attracted to you, but you might get bored easily. in short, yes, but for very specific reasons.

It seems like a stupid question but what's the best thing to do when you're trying to lose weight.
Eat before you work out or after? (obviously not right before or right after)
It's just a couple of people have told me eating before will give me energy and that eating after will just bring back the calories and other people have told me eating after is better because before you already have the energy from your previous meals of the day and if you eat after you'll get all the sugar, protein, etc. back that you lost during sweating.

So, who's right? (link)
haha none of them, i am. do both. 5 meals/day speeds up your metabolism, causing you to burn more fat. my wrestling diet is cereal breakfast and supper is green beans, a salad, and some skinless chicken, with occassionally swapping a tuna fish sandwich in for the chicken. now by no means should you go to that extreme, but that is the lose weight fast diet. if you can make your diet consist of mainly what i listed, go you. but yeah the main point is eat a lot of small meals and don't snack. and NEVER SKIP BREAKFAST, it's horrible for your metabolism speed.
i know you love my advice and stuff but i'd like to hear it and have you rate me well and stuff. kthx

Dear Advicenator,
I'm really mean to this guy named Alan, yet I'm in love with him. He lives in Georgia and I live in Nebraska. When he calls me his bitch, my heart melts. Is there any chance that he likes me? Or am I too ugly? ( for reference) I love him and I want his sex. Gosh What do I do?! It sucks being half indian.
-Your Indian (link)
if you suck (ha ha) up to him, he might do some stuff in return. make up for your time away from him and the pissy mood you've been in. make him feel loved and at home, and make him a sign. as for getting him to have sex...good luck on that. suck up really hard and he might.
--Your Caucasian

I have this problem. see, i had this awesome guy friend and then we considered being more but never got around to it. mostly because he can be a complete cocky jerk. and i want to be friends with him, but his personality drives me crazy. should i ditch or deal? (link)
well, being cocky myself, i kinda like the guy. if you think he's worth the work--which i'm sure he is--help him change. maybe your deal can be that he can be cocky around other people if he works on changing around you. pinpoint the problem and get it down to brass tacks...a list of stuff that you can check off as he becomes more and more like the man you want to be with. i'm sure he can change if he wants to and if you want him to and if he wants to make you happy. if you guys wanted to be more, i'm sure he does. and make sure you live up to his standards, too. if you're not the kind of girl he's looking for, he's not going to want to change for you. i can personally only think of a very small handful of girls i would change for. good luck, o hope you can turn him around some, just don't remove his masculinity and allow him to still have a spine and be his own person and not be nice all the time and such. you'll never be able to break him completely; he'll always have that fire of cocky inside.
rate this advice well cuz i need the help...i just started. good luck

my Boyfirend is a complete sex ADDICT! This is the first guy I have actually had true feelings for! I have known him since I was 7 and I have liked him since. We started goin out 3 months ago and we made out the first night. We have madeout countless times now and I SO LOVE HIM!but, he has boners all the time when I'm leaning on him. and he was kinda humping me last time we were makin out.TOday, he was askin me all these questions like, DO U LIKE IT HARD? DO U WANT TO BE ON TOP? I AM A VIRGIN CATHOLIC and i love him so don't say break up with him! I am only 14 and I don't want to risk pregnancy! (link)
well i'm gonna take a more typical guy approach than the other people. it sounds like you've only kissed him. yes, make it clear that you're not gonna have sex and your religion forbids protection anyway, but give the poor guy a break. he's got so much tension built up and he has to go home after you guys fool around and masturbate to release it. give the poor fool a handjob. and it he starts begging for that, tell him you'll stop (threaten). if he keeps begging or asks for more than you're willing to do (oral), send him home. i feel kinda bad for the guy. make sure the virginity issue is clear tho. i know you loved my advice but i'd like to hear you say it and rate me and stuff =)

well this summer i'm going to take p.e in the morning for summer that way next year i don't have to . after that i plan to go to dance class , and later on work out .the dancing will be hip pop..i really don't need to take it i have people always wanting them for me to show them how i dance and if i could help them with there dancing . i just want to do something that will keep me busy. but at the samw time i want to lose wieght u think its possilbe to at least lose 20 pounds or so by next year ? (link)
the dancing class will hone your skills, plus you could show off some if you're as good as you say you are, and get a little following of people. that's always good.
it depends on how much you weigh now how much weight you can lose by next year, but if you diet right and exercise for PE as well as do some stuff outside of that, you'll be fine.
salad and skinless chicken are great for losing weight if you got down to the end of the summer and you've only lost like 3 pounds. your dinner should be skinless chicken, some green beans, and a salad, with water or those diet sodas that has like 25mg of sodium per serving and that's all that's in it. you can mix tuna fish sandwiches in for the skinless chicken every once in a while, too. and watch how much dressing you put in the salad, and make what you do as lowfat as can taste good. that's how i lose weight for wrestling, and i've gotten anywhere from losing 6 pounds in a day to about 13 in a week.
this is my first advice thing, and i know you love it, but i'd like to hear you say it.

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