Q: Very recently, I found out one of my very best friends (a girl, I am a guy)got a boyfriend. This only happened recently, and I found out via myspace while I was bored and looking through other profiles. I came across hers and noticed all the comments about it, and I looked and checked and found out it was true. No one told me, I just happened across it (although, I am sure I would have found out by tomarrow)
I knew they were good friends, and when I read it, I was happy at first. But soon my happiness for her turned into a sick feeling in my stomach and I felt on the verge of a collapse. I felt sick and desperatly wanted to just go and die. To go away and maybe wake up and realize it wasn't true, to hope it wasn't true. And as reality settled into my mind, I felt the urge to do something I have almost never done, cry.
Every part of my mind says I should be happy for her, to be so glad she finally found someone decent. And I really want to, but my heart won't let me. She has always been there for me and has helped me through alot of bad times and vice versa, I have done the same for her. We've been friends for awile now, and I was always one she would come to for help, and I would do the same thing. I care for her as much as I humanly can.
I don't know why I feel this way, I shouldn't feel this way and yet I do, there is something in me that just won't accept it and is rejecting it completely.
Can anyone please tell me why I still feel like I do? Why a part of me just won't accept it. Won't let me be happy for her?
You have my most sincere thanks...
-Chooses to remain unknown
