About suzy
I'm just a 15 year-old Brit girl with a fetish for Snow Patrol and travel. I can help with school family, friends and the occasional question about relationships. Now that I have my own life pretty much sorted, I can start to help other people, which is what I want to do when I'm older. One day, I assure you, I *will* be a clinical psychologist!
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Gender: Female
Location: England, UK
Occupation: Procrastinator Extraordinaire... actually, I'm still at school.
Age: 15
Member Since: December 1, 2004
Answers: 4
Last Update: December 1, 2004
Visitors: 2695
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My friend and I used to cut together. I don't anymore, but she does. And she rubs it in my face, and I get really annoyed by it. I tell her to "Piss off!" but she continues to do it. I don't care if she cuts or not, but it annoys me how she takes it as a joke (it wasn't a joke to me...). And honestly, she has NOTHING to cut over! She has the happiest FUCKING like of anyone I KNOW!!! What should I tell her? What should I do to change the situation?
Right now, it's not the fact that she's rubbing your nose in it, or that she has nothing to cut over - you just need to get her to stop cutting. (Congrats to you for stopping.) I reckon she's joking about it to try and make you see it's not a big deal, but it is.
I suggest you find a time when you won't be disturbed and when she's not overly hyper. Sit her down and ask, quite simply, "why are ou cutting?" Don't prompt her in any way, and if she tries to dodge the question or asks why, just repeat the question. If she still won't answer, wait for five seconds. Don't say anything. This is a professional counselling trick - if you wait long enough she will come out with the honest answer.
After you find out why she's cutting, you can use your best judgment to help her stop. Tell her to call you whenever she feels like cutting, or to put an elastic band against her wrist and flick it (this apparantly gives the same form of pain as cutting).
Whatever you do now, do not tell her to piss off. There will be a serious reason as to why she's still cutting, and you two need to work it out. If it gets too much, talk to your or her mum or dad or older sibling or someone. (Not your friends.) She needs to stop, and you need to help her see that. Encourage her to keep a diary, or journal, or anything like that. Instead of writing her pain on her arm, get her to write it down on paper.
Hope this helps!
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ok i have this friend and well ill just say it one: all the time she acts majorly fake (the whole dumb blonde thing)when shes actually really samrt she wants people to like her and shes really desperate, but the thing is its just making people make fun of her they think shes a poser (which she sorta is) and everyone makes fun of her shes tried so many times to fit in and ive told her that she shouldnt care what people think about her becuz its really not important, she always tells me how perfect i am (which i am not) and its really annoying last year she tried to be punk this year shes a major prep and she shouldnt be either ive tried so many times to talk to her and she always promises to start being herself how do i help her help herself without tearing her down?
I think your friend is just going through a phase... and I can guarentee you've heard that before. But it's true, and I'm speaking from my own experience here. I and a few of my friends have gone through phases like that. What you should do is take her on a shopping trip - make sure she has a decent amount of money to spend - and just be normal. When she asks your opinion on something, for example, "Does this top make me look fat?" just reply, "Do YOU think it does?" She'll (hopefully) answer with her own opinion, and then she can start being herself. And as for the whole perfect thing, just be flattered. If she does say, "You're so perfect bleh bleh bleh" just say, "I'm not," and steer the subject away from you. Also, it would help majorly if you complimented your friend regulary - if she's wearing a new top, for example, comment and say it looks nice or something.
I know this sounds pretty basic but if you do all these steps you both will be fine. Oh, and stand up for her - just tell other people to back off, or say something witty like "better a poser than a loser" (ok, maybe that wasn't that witty, but you get the idea).
She's just exploring who she is, so just help her get along, and do your best to bring her true self out.
Good luck!
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