Hello, I genuinely like helping others by giving advice out to others.
My intrests are in psychology/mental health but I do like giving out advice on other areas like family/friendship/womens health and just general life advice. Feel free to message me!
E-mail: tigz_285@yahoo.co.uk
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Member Since: March 27, 2012
Answers: 79
Last Update: October 25, 2021
Visitors: 7559
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My bestfriend left in 10th grade and I got into a group of friends it was fine for a while until I felt like I was getting more and more picked on. From getting my head pushed, grabbing my shoes and I ran after them with my socks wet, grabbing my phone and texting people without my permission, always being the target and more. Now I am in 12 grade and am so happy that we are staying home cause in 11th grade I would have mental breakdowns every week cause I felt so lost and stuck cause the person who was the key to all of this knew I have social anxiety and cant just up and leave to a different friend group so I felt like this person was taking advantage of that. I told myself that I would wait until graduation and cut them off but now I feel fake...and I feel fake to myself cause every time this person wants to talk to me I really really don't want to cause I know this person is going to try to find anything to pick on me about. And yet I force myself to respond cause I'm scared of the possibility that to we might go back to school in May and I really don't want drama I just want to leave this friendship. I am especially nervous if we do go back in May cause I don't know what this person is going to do. This person is very impulsive and might lash out and that the last thing I want. This person recently started to comment more on my story's and Instagram photo I believe he/she knows I am getting distant. Like today he/she messaged me saying how its almost my birthday. Once I saw that message my anxiety increased so much and I was about to breakdown. And the thing is, is that every time this person would be nice to me like once in a while I would rethink everything which has really took a toll on my mental health. I keep debating with myself. On one hand I really don't want to respond and want to end and I feel fake and cause I told myself I will never again put myself in that situation again but on the other hand I'm like just wait until graduation and you never have to see this person ever again. Idk..Idk..I feel so lost and suck please I need advice! (link)
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These people are NOT your friends, they are toxic and bullying you. They are taking advantage of you because of your social anxiety and manipulating you. This is not what friends do. You should not be made to feel like this and you should not feel as though you are fake because it’s them with the problem not you. Please do not think that you are the problem when it is not. This is hurting you so much that your mental health is suffering and no one deserves that treatment that these so called “friends” are giving you.
My advice would be to end it now, leave and stay away from them. Do not wait until graduation because you will be waiting for a long time and by then you will probably have a breakdown and your mental health will suffer so much more than it already has. Please do not fall for them trying to be nice to you because it is likely that they are manipulating you into staying in that friendship group. They will probably keep doing that so do not fall for it. Cut all contact and set all of your social media profiles to private and if necessary, block them.
Is there someone you can talk to about this? maybe a guidance counsellor or a teacher you can trust? I know how hard it is to make friends when you have social anxiety but do not let that hold you back. You will eventually find friends, good friends that are nice and friendly not like the ones you have now. I know you may feel you need to stay with them because you feel like you can not talk to anyone and make new friends. I had a toxic friend who I stayed with because I thought I was not going to find any other friends but I learnt that staying in that toxic friendship was not good for me and my mental health. They will wear you down just like they did to me. It is better to get out now than stay with people like that. I eventually found friends I could trust and so can you.
There is also help available for social anxiety and I would suggest talking to your primary care doctor about the ways in which they can help you. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be helpful to those with social anxiety and it might be something that you could look into. Good luck with everything.
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Hi,
My best friend moved to a different school recently and she started today. Well after school she told me about it and everything, and she seems really happy there.. I'm happy for her, but I'm scared that she might find a new best friend or something. She said people are aleady calling her their best friend, it's really fun there, etc. I really don't want to lose her, but I'm scared I will. Any advice is much appreciated, thanks :) (link)
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Sometimes you just have to accept that your friend has moved on. I know it's hard because I've been there and it sucks. I met my best friend at school and we were really close. Unfortunately in Year 10 she moved to another school and I lost my best friend. At that time I had another friend but he moved away as well so I didn't really have anyone to talk to. We kept in touch and I would hear about everything that she was doing and I would tell her what I'm up to now. Anyway, I realised that she was going to have new friends and have her own life. We lost touch eventually and I made new friends. I still consider her to be my best friend and I hope she still thinks of me as her best friend.
You don't have to loose contact with her like I did with my best friend. You could e-mail, text or phone your friend. You could even meet up if her school isn't too far away from where you live. So you can still be friends but you just have to realise that she will make friends at her new school and maybe even make other best friends. You don't have to loose her completely but just know that sometimes you can go different ways and no matter how hard that may seem, you just have to accept it.
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Female, Just Turned 13.
Hi! So... Me and my BFF met in the beginning of the school year (August) - And she has changed my life.
However... Our other friend told me she was moving. Long story short: She kept it from me! She said she wanted me to FIND OUT! ;( Ok so she moved before Winter break..
Winter break ended and she wasn't here all week. She texted me and told me the news.. Ever since, I couldn't stop crying. Seriously! We were even going to go to Disney World in May.. I'm so depressed. I can barely eat or sleep. What do I do? She changed my life and she meant so much to me ;(. Everytime I think of the good memories or the day we met, I start to cry. She was the bestest friend I ever had! (link)
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I'm sorry to hear about your best friend. I can relate to your situation. It's your situation swapped around really - I didn't tell her I was leaving rather than been the person who's friend moved away and didn't tell her.
I met by best friend in infant school and she was my best friend. We did everything togther and then I found out that I had to move away. The thing I most regret is telling her sooner rather than leaving it until it was nearer to the day when I was going away. It wasn't fair on her.
She was devasted that I was leaving and I was devasted about moving away. Anyway, long story short there is a sort of happy ending. After several months past she got my new address and she wrote a letter to me. Then I found out she moved closer to where I was (not because I was here but for another reason plus we lost contact again and this came out of the blue). Anyway she came to see me and it had been years since I had last seen her. I was happy and she is happy and we hung out. After that though we did drift apart and I haven't seen or heard from her since (we both didn't really stay in contact). I guess we both moved on. I moved away, we met up years later and now we are both living our own lives.
My advice for you would be to stay in touch with her. By phone, letter, e-mail whatever it will help to talk to her when you are missing her. I still have a letter from my best friend that I kept in a memory box. That letter is so old now, but I still have it. I also have a frienship ring she gave to me after we met up again.
Also the good thing about keeping in contact is that you could maybe send her a picture of you now and she can send you one of herself. I did this with by friend and I was amazed about how much she changed. Hope this helps you x
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I am 13 years old. I have a friend that is 27 years old. In a month or less I will be moving to California . My friend is supposed to be moving with us. BUT a few days ago he had told me he's good at making out and I should try it with him. And I'm like huh ? And then he told me how he liked me and stuff. But my mom had just asked 3 days before, if Dustin (the friend) was weird or if he made me feel uncomfortable,etc. (basically if he was a pervert). And I'm like no , because I didn't know yet and she's like okay . Because he claims to be gay also BTW. And he has this crappy job with crappy people and lives in a small crappy hotel too. And IDK if I should tell my mom 'cause I would be the reason his life sucks and I don't think I'm in the place to take away dreams just to feel more comfortable. Help me! Should I tell or not?
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I'm going to be very honest and blunt (I'm not trying to be rude to you in anyway but I'll say what I think about this situation). He's 27 an you're only 13. Think about it, why would he really be hanging around and be friends with a 13 year old girl (I assume you are a girl?). He's an adult and of course men would be interested in sex. 27 years olds hang around with men thier age not with a young girl like yourself unless he wanted something.
I know what it was like to be at that age, naive and young. I've made mistakes and one that I thankfully didn't go ahead with but had the opportunity to do so and if I did I would probably ended up being taken advantage of. Anyway I don't want you to do anything you might regret. Even he's a family friend you still need to be careful.
You are definetly NOT to blame for his crappy job with crappy people and a small crappy hotel. He's responsible for his own life and you are not responsible for his life. It's best to be safe than sorry. I would tell your mum, you are not going to take away his dreams because your not responsible for his life. You should feel comfortable and safe and not have him say things like that to you.
How would you know if anything he has said is true? News flash people lie. You said he 'claims' to be gay. If you are a girl then why would he hit on you if he is gay? Gay guys like guys only. He could be telling the truth or he could of made it up.
It's not ok for him to say that you should try making out with him when he's an adult and you are only a child. Also if he does anything with you sexually even if you give your consent he can still be arrested since that's sexually assualt on a minor and if you have sex with him he can be arrested for rape.
My advice - tell your mum. When I was a teen I never really shared much with my mum. Some things I kept secret an I understand that there are things you probably wouldn't tell your mum. However this is something that you should tell your mum about. This is something that could possibly go wrong very easily if you don't. He might not do anything but who says he wont? Tell your mum! This is not ok and you should tell your mum about it.
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