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Look forward to talking soon,

Chandler XX



advice

We have been friends since we met in pre-school. We were each other's first friend. We used to hang out all the time. Even though we were so different (I was super-shy and she was more of an outspoken person) we got along better than anyone else. But in school, they put us in classes according to our last name, and we always got separated. In junior high, she started hanging out with the more popular kids, but we were still friends. But then, she stopped hanging out with me, mainly because she was so busy - played about five different sports and dance lessons and babysitting on top of that - because her parents forced her. She hasn't been over to just 'hang out' at my house in about three years. We'll be in high school next year. I've realised that I love her, but the problem is, we're both girls. Her parents are very religious; they don't mind gays, just not near them. Also, in the past few years I've changed a lot...I'm more outspoken, and I suppose you could call me 'Goth' (though I hate labels). I don't get to see her much, but all this is making my head spin. I want to tell her, but I know that if I do, there is definately a strong chance I'll never see her again, and she'll hate me. Help is appriciated.

Hi,

First of all let me say that the fact you both happen to be girls is not an issue, if anyone else has a problem with that to-hell with them, their not worth the time of day!

You miss this girl and you clearly have been very close so tell her you miss her, tell her you want your friendship back, talk to her. The difficult part is you want more than friendship - does she? Is she even gay? You need to be very careful (as I've said to many people in life before) not to destroy an important friendship in the pursuit of something more. However she may feel the same and if you don't ask you may never know.

I would advice re-igniting the friendship and spending some time together before you make the decision.

That decision has to be down to you but what I would say is, isn't it normally the things we don't do that we live to regret?

The very best of luck

Chan XX

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Never in my life will I do this again.

I'm making a very long story short.
-i needed a ride home from a party
-friend said he could and wanted to hang out anyways
-got n car @ 2am. Said I had 2 b home at 230
-we didn't kno where to go... drove around to big houses n hills
-i said to turn around. He finally did.
>turned off engine.
>grabbed me ( you know when u watch movies and the girl gets raped? Well I always think, 'o why doesn't she jus play it off so he doesn't get mad?' well I did!) tried to kiss me I kissed him back after saying no.
>shoved my hand on his thing through his pants.
>shoved his hand on my private part.
[This still occured even though I kept saying NO. He kept saying ITS OK.]
>finally stopped n kept drivin
-drives a different way to this place to view the city.
-pulls over.
>grabs me across his lap, puts his tonge down my throat.
>tried to get up. He pulled me back down. And tried to kiss me again. I finally got up & said we gotta go home!
-on ride home we act like nothing happened.
-drops me off. Done.

I don't know if I should tell him how I feel? Ignore it? Act like it never happend?
I never want to see him again. But I have to because we go to the same school.

I'm not that type of girl AT all. I'm a virgin, but most people don't think so. Maybe he didn't? I can't believe he thought I would do that. I can't believe he did that to me.

Hi,

With all due respect I think you maybe quite naive. You said no but you proactively participated and if you didn't want what was happening to happen you should have made that quite clear. I don't think this boy thought for one moment you didn't want this to happen.

In future I would suggest if a situation occurs you're not happy with you say so from the very start, don't then say one thing and do another or give mixed singles.

If you don't feel you can just let this go talk to him about how you are feeling and make clear that you don't want that to happen again, but I do think if your going to get in guys cars at 2am you should first understand how the world works. (By that I do not mean anyone has the right to do anything to you to which you have not consented - but to be fare by your actions you did consent to what was happening)

Chandler

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Me and a friend that I had been best friends with since third grade were in a huge fight for a year, & just yesterday we apologized to each other. We're friends again, but something doesn't feel right. I still feel guilty/nervous about something, but I can't figure out what it is. It's like I want to be her friend, but I'm scared to? I don't know. How can I stop feeling like this?

Hi,

The way your feeling is normal and only to be expected, and your friend will be feeling the same way. You can't spend a year at loggerheads with a former friend then go back to the way things where. The apologies where only the first step, you need to give it time and put in work to get back the relationship you once had.

Chandler xx

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