about

Hi everyone and welcome to my advice column! My name is Jessica. This is me in Barcelona on the top of La Sagrada Familia which is a very famous cathedral designed by Antoni Gaudi.

I found out about Advicenators by mistake on google but I glad I stumbled upon it it because I love helping people, which naturally I use as a Spanish Teacher. If you have a problem and I can relate to it in anyway I will try to answer it to the best of my ability. Never hesitate to ask me a question, I hope I can help!

advice

Is it wrong that I never tell my "best friends" anything anymore?


Whenever I do tell them something, they end up telling their other really good friend who tells someone else, who then tells other people and the next thing I know, I'm walking into Best Buy and the guy at the register asks me about what I did with who at what party a few weekends ago. True story..that really did happen. Kinda funny but I was pissed as a mofo.


Now that I don't talk to them about anything serious, they get all mad. But why should I tell them things when the rest of the world is just going to find out about it?


I don't want to loose them as friends because they're still fun and everything so I just figured okay, I'll still hang out with them but not tell them anything that I would rather keep between us. But, turns out that they don't like that.


What should I do? Just ditch them?

I don't think it's wrong that you don't want o tell your friends about important personal things in your life, but at the same time you can hardly call them your best friends if you feel the need to with hold so much information. You should be able to trust your "best friends" and if you can't then the might not be the friends you thought they were. So take the for what they are worth have a good time, but don't count on them to save your life.
Good luck!

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all of my best friends have boyfriends and theyre always so busy with them that i get left out of everything. theyve stopped being such good friends we dont really talk much and when i do they dont listen. its really stressful and i dunno im not jealous of them im happy they have someone but shouldnt they still care about me? they dont know what its like to be in my situation and when i try to explain it to them they just shut me out. what do i do?

It sucks being the one on the outside!
I know because I've been there, but I have also been the one with the boyfriend...
I don't know where you are in life I just know that the best thing to do in a situation like this is to stop and reflect on yourself, ask yourself: Would I act like them if I were put into the same position? If you've never had a boyfriend then REMEMBER this feeling that you have. That way at least you can try not to act the way your friends are acting in the future.

Just know that trying to talk about the way your feeling with them won't get you anywhere, it will only make you hurt more, feel isolated, and break away from your friends. The will feel bad for you and also look at you as a D-O-W-N-E-R. (Nobody wants to be orbe around a downer.) They can't relate to how you feel becaus ethey don't feel the way you do, and lets face it when you're in the same situation you won't be able to relate 100% to someone with no boyfriend either.

The best thing you can do for yourself and your friendship is:
1. Hang out with and make new friends
(I am not saying ditch your other friends, but take this as an opportunity to add new ones.)
2. Try not to be negative when you are around the friend with boyfriends (because that will come back to you the day you get a boyfriend)
3. Fight the jealousy (it makes people say and do crazy things)
You can't put the blame on other people, your day will come, but don't wait for it...have fun in the process and difficult as that might be.
You are your own best friend, if you can't be no one will! Good Luck!

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