Chewshi's advice column | Chewshi's Advice About Friendship

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Q: my bf met a new frind and now she traets melike the 2nd paper. she barley talks tome and in dance party's she dances with me and after 1 hour she getsmad for no reason. the problem is that her new bf and me hate each other and everytime i talk about her with my frinds she gets mad at me she sais i am her number 1 bf but she dosent tell me anything. in the other hand she told her new bff her secrets. she sais that since we have been getting intto fights latley, one of this days i will tell everyone. i thought she knew me better, because u will nver spread a secret around please help me!!!

I'm sorry! I've been in this same situation numerous times - exept I would be the one that introduced the two. They would always want to be with eachother and make plans with the other when I stood right in front of them. It drove me up the wall! However, I'm not the most brave person and I didn't say anything, I just watched them. If you're talking to them, then that's really great! They may get mad at first, but someday they're going to go home and think, 'why am I being such a jerk?' Things will slow down really soon and your friend will come back to hanging out with you, but remember that her new friend will most likely not be pushed out of the picture - she'll still be there, just not as much! Soon you'll be with your friend just as much as her new one, but I can't guarantee that you'll get more time with her. I'm sorry that my advice couldn't be more... optimistic, but I really hope that things turn out awesome for you!!!

Q: ok look everyone is accusing me of making up a very ugly and nasty rumor like the whole school, but i know i didint do it because i was one of the last ppl to find out, what should i do> also my friend thinks i was talking bad about her bbehind her bakk with these other boys, but i wasent they were and i was just defending her then i told her it wasent true but she sais she dosent belive me and belives the person that told her that. i dont know what to do plz helpme

Wow, you're in quite a pickle! For the rumor, it will die down if you just ignore what people say to you. One boy got hold of the fact that I went out with another boy and teased me about it - he faked my voice and everything. I just gave him a dirty look and continued on with my work. He dropped it right then - I never heard anyone else tease me on that subject again. If the whole school knows, it might take a bit longer, but people are hypocrits - they tell you not to do stuff when they themselves do it, too. Soon another rumor will pop up that will shrink yours to the size of a grain of rice. Meanwhile, show those people that some untrue, meaningless words won't leave a single scratch on you!

Your friend is probably confused about the talking behind her back thing. My best friend is just like that - she can't stand it when anyone says something about her when she's not in the room. Even if you truly were talking about her, everyone needs to complain to someone before they completely blow in front of the person who is ticking them off. If she can't accept that, then she's not worth it. But you weren't even doing that, you were defending her, and she still won't get the picture... ask her truly who she would rather believe: A group of low - life, lying boy scum or you, her friend who would never do anything to hurt her! That should get her thinking relationship wise, and teach her never to trust boys - they lie to get themselves out of trouble! I'm sorry I couldn't tell you more - I really hope that things work out for you!

Q: last year i was new to my school i i met my best friend there. but now this year she dosent tellme anyhthing and dosent trust me she ignores me sometimes andwe get into alot of fight, she has new friends and she telles them her secrests but to me she dosent even tell me who her crush is i feel we cant be frineds anymore but me and her are realy close when we are getting along. what should i do? female 13

Oh, I'm sorry! I've had a couple of friends who have done the same thing. A couple of them were introduced to eachother by me, and together they seemed to push me out of the picture. This settled down after a while. It took a while more than a month, but I'll bet you that soon you'll all start to sway in harmony. If you guys were that close, she'll soon loosen up and come back to you!!!

Q: I have just gone into seventh grade this year, And me and my friends all want to decorate peoples lockers for their birthdays. But my one friend doent seem like she wants me to help. I was just on the phone with her and she was getting ready to go in early tomorrow to decorate one ofour friends lockers. But when I asked her if I could help she was just kinda guiet and said, "I don't Know." And when she was talking about all the lockers she was going to decorate I said, "Yeah, you and me will have to go in and decorate them together." When I said that she was jsut kind of quiet. And when I asked if that was o.k, she just said really quietly. " I guess So." So I can't tell if she wants me to help or not. We are both friends with the same people. I ust don't kow why she is acting so weird. If someone could PLLLEASE right back ASAP, that would be great!

Hey,
I have a feeling that your friend might want to do this by herself... just to show that she cares for the friend and that she wants to give them this present by herself instead of looking cheap and just joining in with someone else, which is probably what she thinks the impression of the locker owner will get. Maybe you should stand out and do something else, like make fabulous cards or something really creative. If you guys are planning to decorate the inside of someone's locker, then this would probably be against the rules and you could get in trouble, anyways. Nothing is really worth that!
At my school, everyone makes signs to hang around their necks that says something like, "Give me a hug - it's my birthday!" Maybe you could make something like that for your friends - it's completely dress code safe and it gives more recognition than a decorated locker!

Q: 14/f my friend's dad just died this morning. what can i do to show her that i care and that i'm here for her? i have no idea what to say to her because i've never experienced a real loss..

Wow... this is quite dramatic. Well, I think you should maybe buy/make her a card that sympathises (Amd I spelling that right?). Let her know that everything will be alright. Maybe you should take her out for ice cream or on a trip to the mall. Do something really fun that will get her mind off of it for a few hours.

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Hey there, Chewshi's talking! Ask away, and I promise that I'll give you the best advice I can. I think it's really important that you trust me before you ask me a question, and if you're not sure if you do or not, please visit my blog to learn more about me (located as my website on this page)! Thanks, and I hope that I helped you!