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I've only been friends with this guy for 2 months now, but the rate at which we got close to each other was astounding. I can consider him one of my best friends, if not my actual best friend.
A month ago he had told me that he liked me. I had been developing slight feelings for him at that time but after he sat me down and told me this I found myself repulsed and kind of angry at him for ruining the natural flow of the friendship. For a while we went as close, but recently I've noticed that my feelings are growing again. We are perfect for each other, and he might very well be my soul mate. Even his dad's friend remarked that we should get married, which made me very uncomfortable at the time.
I can see myself spending my life with him. But I'm so young and not serious at all with men. I usually date guys that are attractive but we aren't friends, which leads me to separate sex from an actual friendship, so I don't see him sexually at all, so I can't imagine an actual relationship with him and sleeping with him. He's also shorter and smaller than me, which is something I've never had before because I'm not that tall and pretty thin.
He treats me so so well and I know I would be very happy with him if I can get over the sexual aspect. But i'm afraid to admit that i have feelings for him, because if I do, then there's no turning back. I also know that I will hurt him when I flirt with other guys. And in that case I will ruin something that potentially could be forever. this is something that could be very serious but i'm afraid the timing's not right. i'm afraid of myself i don't trust myself. but if i don't tell him soon i feel that he will pull away, he already is, it seems it's tormenting him immensely and he has stopped talking to me. i don't want to lose what i have now with him, but i also don't want to lose everything when there's more at stake in the future.
what do i do???? i haven't felt this strongly about anyone in a long time, but i'm also prone to changing my feelings a lot and i'm afraid. i don't want to mess this up or hurt him. i also don't want to see him with another girl, what if he finds someone else. how do i see past his physicality? (link)
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This describes my past relationship with my now-fiance to a "T"... We hung out in and after high school, hooked up once, and it changed things. I moved on and got married, then divorced... we got back in touch and tried dating, but he wasn't ready to be serious so we drifted. Then we became the best of friends again and both still had romantic feelings, but we were already in the "friend zone" and I couldn't imagine crossing that line with him again. So I dated different guys and finally realized I was wasting my time! I could have lost him due to bad timing, but didn't because he was my soul mate. It just took us alot of time and several tries to figure that out! Everything happens for a reason and eventually, what's meant to be will be!
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When I was a kid my parents always wanted me home RIGHT after school, I wasnt allowed to join sports teams because my parents(mom was too over protective. In highschool I went to a school almost an hour away because my sis went there and becasue all the students from my elementary school took over the options I had for schools in my neighborhood and I didnt want to go to school with them because I was a "loser" in elementary school and I wanted to start fresh. highschool was great! I made great friends I experimented I went out...Sometimes....and I found my soul mate! Now i do not go out with my highschool friends becasue they are too far, they were still experimenting when i left school and I was over that, and I was so fresh with my bf I wanted all the time w/him. Now our friendship is holding on by a thread, we havnt had a conversation in almost 3yrs and I don't know if i want to continue to expand a friendship with them. i am scared that they have changed and I have changed, we wont have anything in common, they are still single and enjoying their 20's and I hvan't even begun to enjoy mine. My bf wants me to get out and enjoy but I don't know how. Now i am in schoool and i have made new friends, most of them are underage and we cant go out but they are all in relationships and we have alot in common. they live far from me and its hard to plan to go out. I am afraid that I will be left with no friends EVER because my mom never let me live as a child, the only time I expressed myself was when I was an hour away from home. I blame my mom because I feel I never learned how to keep friends. I am great at making friends, i am outgoing ant caring but i have a real hard time keeping them, going out, planning to go out, HAVING A GOOD TIME! I don't want to loose my 20's and than regret it. PLS I want some HELP! I am debating on dropping out of school because I don't feel happy doing what i do, i enjoy going to class because i am with friends and that is the only place where I know we can meet up and have a good time! I love my bf so much and I don't want to blame him in the future, that is his fear. My fear is that I will be left alone my whole life and blame my mom who is alone, doesnt go out and says its becasue of me, she also tells me that my father never loved or cared about me. I want to enjoy life. i feel like the only reason I am still in school is because of my friends but I want to be able to go to school because of my career. i want to know if i actually enjoy the feild or if the stress from my friendships are impairing my judgement of weather or not I want to do what I am studying...My main goal here is to go out and build LONG & LASTING friendships. With my friends now or my frineds befor. i don't care, I just want to learn how to build that relationship. My friends now I don't knwo much about them, but they don't seem wild. My friends befor go out to clubs, drink (i don't drink too much) and hey already have a set group they have always hung out with since highschool. I don't want to get in the way of that. but I want that too, i want to have a friend or friends that when i am in my thirties and have kids they will be there. My bf has friends from his neighborhood who he can always count on and i envy him for that. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what i should do or plan to build on my friendships. PLEASE!!!!! (link)
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Start with getting to know your new friends better and creating a bond... invite them to lunch between classes, host a jewelry or purse party, or bring up the idea of a girls night out since most of you are in relationships. Also try to find some one-on-one time with each of them so you can develop a lasting bond (go shopping, watch you favorite show together every week, talk about boys, etc.). Then you can work on re-establishing your relationships with your old friends. Since they don't live close to you, try to plan a visit on a weekend, once a month or a few times a year. If you don't want to hang out in the bars, then suggest going to an amusement park or a spa... there are many things you can do besides drinking that everyone will enjoy. Just keep in touch and let them know that you want them in your life!
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