about

I'm Allie :)

I love lacrosse, field hockey, running, talking, boys, summer, and Boston.

I'm very forward. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.

I'll do my best. =P

advice

I've always had a 6th sense for detecting peoples body lang. and things like that. I also get these feelings that I have to protect someone...

I'm a 15/m and I feel like I have to protect this guy. And I don't know why or how or when b/c he barely talks to me. His life is not the best and I think that's why I have to 'take care of him', kinda like a brother... but the guy won't talk to me and it's very hard for him to trust people b/c of family issues... idk what to do... normally I would just let it go right? ... WRONG!!!

I can't stop thinking about him... and it's not like I like the guy... I just can't stop wondering if he's ok today, or if he's smiling and happy. I feel like I have to play the part of father? I don't know what to do! Why can't I just stop thinking and worrying about him!?

What should I do? Have you ever felt like you had to protect someone that you've never met?

Please Help!
Thanks in advance.

-Andy

ygs was right, you can't just assume that everyone wants your help. Try talking to him, try to become friends. It's nice that you feel the need to help him; most guys your age are much less altruistic.
I honestly have no idea why you can't stop worrying about him, but I think if you become friends with him, you'll know more about him. And when you know more about him, you'll be able to judge whether he has unsolved issues or not.
I've never felt the need to protect someone I've never met, but that's not really my personality. It seems to be in yours, which I think is nice. =]

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How do you know when someone doesn't want to talk to you? How can you tell that someone wants to say something but they don't because they're scared of what you might say or think. How can you help someone to just let go?

Well, generally if someone doesn't want to talk to you, they'll act distant and kind of rude. They might end the conversation abruptly, or appear to be bored. If you get the feeling from someone that they're only talking to you to be polite, then they don't really want to talk to you.

It's hard to tell when someone wants to say something but they don't because they're scared. Mostly, you can't tell. The person might call your name and say nevermind, and generally that means that they wanted to say something but didn't. It's better to just say what you feel rather than feeling like you lost the opportunity to do so.

The last question, however, is the toughest. Most people hate letting go of people; it's not a natural instinct. You can't "just let go", instead, it's a slow, painful process. Explain to the person that eventually, they will feel better, and that you will always be there to help them. Tell them that they aren't alone.

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A girl considers me her bff, but I haven't talked to her face to face in like 4 months. I use her for my own personal gain when i need her, because she doesn't like her current friends and tries to get in with my friends so she thinks it'll help but she's getting way too annoying and I would keep using her but I cant because she is seriously always there and too annoying, how do i get through to her?

What a nice friend you are!
Like seriously, it's so nice that you use her for your own personal gain, without even considering that she has feelings too!
While I realize that everyone screws up at one point in their life, how could you possibly overlook the fact that you are using this girl? Do you think that it's okay to use her? Do you think she doesn't mind, that she'd be perfectly fine if you told her you were only her friend so that you could use her?
I don't know you; I have no idea what you value as right and what you value as wrong. I sure as hell don't value using people as right, and I know a lot of people would agree with me. It shocks me that you are completely nonchalant and shameless about the fact that you are using her, and she has no idea.
This girl deserves more. She deserves a real friend, which clearly is not you. Maybe you should consider that the next time you think she is too annoying.

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i have a group of imature friends that i have alot of fun with. but there's a problem, their all total pot heads and trouble makers and then i have a group of friends who are still wierd but not like them and they are a better infuence on me. should i get rid of the pot heads even though some of them arent so bad...they're still my friends, is that all that matters?

Simply tell them that you don't smoke pot. Don't just ditch them, they're your friends. I tell my friends that I don't smoke, and they completely respect that. Just be honest.
=)

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The other day I had to step out of my dorm room to ask a question to someone but my hair was in really terrible shape so I coudn't go out there looking like that. So I put on my shower cap to go out because I lost my headscarf. But, the thing was my shower cap smelled and once I walked down the hall I could smell it and it was a strong enough odor for others to smell I believe. I was near about 3 people one girl was standing on the other side of the desk another girl was sitting at the desk I was standing at but she was sitting down and another was standing on my opposite side but she was facing the opposing direction of me. Do you think anyone else smelled it and if so how do you think that will effect me and people I comunicate with on a daily basis?

Honestly, I don't think they cared or even noticed. It most likely won't effect anything with the people you interact with on a daily basis.
Don't fret. =P

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ohkay so its like this. last year
me and my best friend were in all
of the same classes and we were
together 24/7. this year we dont
have 1 class together and never
see each other so we dont talk.
i really miss her and i talk to
her online but we never have anything
to say and shes like a stranger to me
and its weird knowing we used to be
best friends... i really wanna be her bff
again but shes always busy and can never
hang out so we keep growing farther and farther
apart.i wanna be her friend again
help =/

The two answers below me basically said it all. Ask her if, for at least a couple of minutes a day, you guys could talk on the phone and catch up.
Also, if she's always using "being busy" as an excuse, she may not want to be your friend anymore. I know how life can be overwhelming sometimes, but she must have some spare time. even if it is a couple of minutes. Hopefully that's not the case, though.
=P

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