I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
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I don't usually tell people I'm a christian because I don't go to church, I tend to swear a lot, I end up doing things I don't want to do like lie. I accepted God into my life when I was 4, I pray as much as I can or remember to, but I'm scared the He would see me as a hypocrite or something that He doesn't approve of and I wouldn't go to heaven and be with Him. Not just that I feel bad so much because I feel I've let my loved ones down and I don't know how to forgive myself, and I just feel like I messed up my life, and I don't know how to change. I'm scared to cry in front of others because I don't want to burden them. I'm just so scared. I don't know how to change and I pray things will get better. I always wanted to be the person people looked up to and loved but I'm the opposite and I can't help people I need God, I need help, I hurt so bad I don't know what to do (link)
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The wonderful thing about God is that you don't have to be perfect before you come to Him. As a matter of fact, He loves it when we come to Him, mess and all and just ask for love and forgiveness. God doesn't see you as a hypocrite. You're just like the rest of us... a sinner and a human being, looking for love and acceptance. He accepts you just as you are, flaws and all... EVEN the cussing! LOL. Its not what you fail at, its what's in your heart that you are judged on. Its good that you pray. God wants to hear from you, but you need to be sure you can hear from God too. He speaks to us in many ways - through prayer time, sermons, Scripture, and other people. If you want to be different, start surrounding yourself with people who seem to live the way you want to live. Find a church you feel comfortable in (if you don't have one already) and start going regularly. Read your Bible - there's actually a LOT of encouraging stuff in there. If you need a little help with reading, go to Biblegateway . com They have free reading plans and studies and you can even get your daily reading passages emailed to you. I use it. I'm really lazy about reading my Bible, so it helps me a lot to stay on track. Don't worry about your eternal soul. When you said 'yes' to God He put your name in the book of Life. That's a done deal. Worry about your life here on earth, and what you can do to make it better for yourself and others. I have a feeling you are going to be somebody whom others can look up very soon, simply by being honest about who you are, and Who you love. You are going to be fine, I promise. But get connected! YOu need other people around you to help you grow. God doesn't tell us to be alone, He commands us to fellowship and share with others, so don't be afraid. Reach out. I promise it won't be as bad as you fear.
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I have mistaken religion and spirituality as the same thing for years. I am not a religious person (nor do I wish to be) and have been fighting both of this for years. I know understand that they are two different things entirely and would love to learn about spirituality and how to live my life with it, but I am struggling with it. can anyone who is spiritual give me some suggestion on how I might go about this? (link)
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"Religion is man's attempt to make God like more like man. Spirituality is man's attempt to become more like God" - Anonymous
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Im torn between faiths. the two faiths that i am torn by are Buddhism and Christianity, i have studied both religions adimently. so im not ignorant to eithers teachings. i am just torn on the which one to choose. As it stands im not religious, but have been trying to find a higher meaning in my life and have narrowed it down to these two. I feel the connection to both, so i am a bit divided. so any tips.
peace. (link)
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Find good people that you like in each of the two religions. Spend time with those people. Get to know how their faith affects their life and their outlook. Not necessarily by asking, but just by observing (observing is better b/c I think sometimes when you ask people are more likely to tell you what they think you want to hear instead of what is true). Something in the way people live out their faith may touch you and help you decide. If nothing else, you've made new friends and widened your circle of understanding. Good luck!
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There was a sermon at my church about serving and having God use you for His Kingdom. The staff at my church is so friendly and I love them all and I would LOVE to be a part of that. So, I would like to be a children's helper and be with the kid's singing downstairs during first service and then come back up to listen second service. However, my church is about 30 minutes away and I don't have my licence and my parents go to the second service, so they would not want to drive me there, back home, back there again and back home again. So, I think that is probably out but I want to serve and I don't know how if I don't have my licence. I just want to do something to make me feel good and make God happy. Any ideas? Thanks! (link)
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Write an email to or meet with your pastor or another church leader. Tell them your situation. You want to serve in some way but your transportation to and from church is limited. Then leave it up to your leaders to decide the best place for you to serve right now. It might not be doing exactly what you want, but sometimes God has us start in odd places, in order to mold us and shape us into the servant he wants us to be. Believe me, your leaders will be thrilled that you even have the desire to be a part of things, so don't hesitate to make your desires known. They'll figure out the rest, and as you serve and grow, circumstances may change and you'll be able to do the things you really want to do.
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Okay, I stopped attending my church because my favorite pastor was let go, he now runs a church out of his home on Sunday nights, what they call an "organic church." I love it. Now, there are a lot of people there that are older than me and more experienced in their walks with Christ. They are so on fire for Jesus and bringing up incredible topics and stories from the bible and all of the teenagers there hardly ever speak because we are so inexperienced. I want to be on fire like the rest of the group, I don't want to be it for them, I want to be on fire for Christ for me. It will help me to better understand the discussions, it will help me to interact more with the people in the group and if I know what to say and what to talk about, I won't feel so stupid to be speaking. My question is, how do I go about being this? Should I get a devotions book or memorize random verses or just read the bible in general? I know I'm a good person and I love Jesus with all my heart but I want to be the one next week to be speaking and raising my voice over the talk of everyone else because I have something incredible to add. Any help is appreciated. Thanks so much, God Bless (link)
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You sound like you already are! Being on fire for God doesn't mean knowing everything about Him. It means that you are hungry to learn more about Him. So consider yourself on fire for God already, and start finding ways to feed that fire. A great place to start is with a devotional book that helps you study each day and guides you. Then just keep attending church and learning more about your Lord and how to serve. Happy learning!
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I'm not sure if I should ask my pastor about my concerns regarding inner healing in the church, or if it would hurt him. I feel that this type of pop psychology should be left out of the church. Should I go to him about it or leave it alone? (link)
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If you have questions, yes, you should ask. Doubts and questions are a part of the faith experience. They help us grow and it is the pastor's job to guide us in that growth. Don't be accusatory about it, but tell him you are having trouble with the whole concept of inner healing and you feel like it is pop psychology. Ask him to explain why he feels it is good for your church. If he is a good pastor, he will hear you out and answer you without judgment or ridicule. And who knows, he may say some things you haven't thought of before. If he won't discuss it at all with you, or if (after your discussion) you still feel its to weird for you, then maybe you need to think about finding another church home. And don't feel guilty about that. We have many different churches and denominations because we all hear God in different ways, and each church has something special to offer. Your special place may be with a different congregation. Remember, the Bible says that if the word is true, it will agree in your spirit. You'll know if things aren't right. You just will. But give the pastor a chance to explain first. You never know what will happen.
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Okay so I have had two incidents were I wanted God to make me be sure he was there. Once when I was about 9 and once just now. The first time I asked God, I asked if He would make the phone ring at a certain time. It rang a few seconds after the clock changed. Then I asked for me to get a text mesage or a call at 7:07 and I was still praying at 7:07 then I stoped praying and it was 7:08 and as soon as it turned to 7:08 I got a text. I thought it may have been a cowincidence so I Asked at 7:19 for me to get a sigh. This time my phone rang at 7:20 and I am wondering if God is doing this like tring to make me do something or think something. Please help an give opinions on what you think It is? Do you agree It is in fact God?. (link)
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Well, you got His attention! Now what are you going do?
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I've heard the world was going to come to an end on 2012, 2011, and on a thursday in 2011, is that truee at all? (link)
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No. Mark 24:36
"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
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Okay, I'm 17/f and last night I had a dream. Im not too sure what the meaning behind it is, but it started out with my mom, my nana, and me. we was standing outside, and a bunch of little gnats came and swarm around a certain particular place in my dream, and where ever they would land, that area would set on fire. A bunch of poeple died in the fires, but for some reason- none of the people i was around did. My boyfriend was in the dream, along with a close friend of mine, and an ex of mine. Its like we all stuck together. We ended up in a room with a bunch of people, and I remember asking my mom if she noticed that majority of the people in the room with us were chrisitians. I remember in my dream I was talking to a man who was a really big christian, and I told him I was scared that I wasn't going to Heaven because of certain reasons. I told him I believe in god 100% and I pray to him sometimes, and I talk to him too, but different people have different beliefs on what you need to be accepted into Heaven.
*A couple of weeks ago, my bestfriend Erica told me her mom saw on the news that God was going to come to Earth to take all the Christians on a Thursday*
I remember in my dream, I followed Chris (the ex) in the bathroom, and I told him what Erica told me, and I told him "Look at my phone, today is Thursday!" and he said wow, your right, and look at the date its "11.11.11"
But, I guess what IM trying to say, is why am I having these dreams?
Am I going to hell? I mean, some people say as long as you believe in the lord, you'll get accepted into his home, but some say if you have never been baptised than you will be rejected.
I've never be baptised, I have been saved though. I smoke ciggarettes, Ive had sex before marriage, but Im not a complete slut, I curse. I use to steal. But when I use to feel really bad, I use to pray to god to tell him to forgive me for my sinss. But idk? (link)
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The issue of baptism is different in different churches. I'm not a pastor, but I do believe that baptism is important. If you feel strongly about it, make arrangements to be baptized. But you must know this - that the only requirement for making it to heaven is belief that God sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die for you and accept all the punishment for your sins that you (all of us) should be punished for. That's all! Salvation is free. You can't earn it. If you've sinned, you have the luxury of asking for God's forgiveness, knowing that its already been given to you freely and gladly. But that's not an excuse to sin whenever you want to. God asks us to repent. That means making a choice to not commit the sin again. Look, salvation is the easiest part! Its free, if you've accepted the Jesus is lord, its yours! You don't have to do anything else. You will be welcomed into heaven when your time comes. But as Christians, God calls us to do more than just be saved. He wants us to come close to him, spend time with him, learn his ways, because those ways will actually make our lives HAPPIER. Open your Bible and read his words for yourself, so that you can feel secure in your own salvation, and you can know what he wants to tell you personally. don't get hung up on the "bad" things you've done, and simply start looking to God more often. You are saved! Now go and learn to be closer to him so you can get your answers straight from the source. And also, Matthew 24:36 says " 36 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." Your friend's mother is wrong and beware of ANYONE who ever claims to know when the Lord will return. No one can know, the Lord said so his very own self! Be at peace. I feel God is trying to poke you a bit. He is calling you to a closer, more curious relationship with Him. He wants to know you!
Some verses for you to look at:
Mark 16:16
Acts 2:21
Acts 16:31
Romans 10:13
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i just got through watching the omen, and during that movie, many religions were shown: christianty, satanism, other pagan religions, etc.
also my friend told me about his friend who is a jehovah's witness and some of their stuff got me thinking.
i was raised methodist christian in my home but turned my back on faith about a year ago. too many rules, inconsistancies, hypocrites, and it was all just very overwhelming, so i quit. and even now that i've given up on religion, i can't get it out of my head. its like i've been brainwashed. i'm not asking someone to give me back my faith, or to even lecture me.
what i'm asking is what do YOU believe? are you christian? satanist? wiccan? anything at all? please answer my question with why you believe in what you believe, and how exactly it works. thanks in advance :) (oh, and i don't judge. so even if you've made up some weird thing where you worship hotdogs, i won't mind) (link)
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Even though you feel confused right now, what you're going through is a GOOD thing. You are learning to question your faith, to think analytically, and to observe. These are all skills that will aid you in eventually finding your spiritual peace. I understand the hypocrisy and rules of your church turned you off, but its important to remember that those are just PEOPLE who go there. They are imperfect and sinners and they will make mistakes and disappoint you and each other. We all do that. But God is not a person, as the Word says, He is "not a man that he should lie", and he's not a building and He's not a book of rules. Don't let what you see in the physical world overwhelm what you know God to be, and if you are really searching, start attending other churches, to see how other people worship God. It can at least give you a good perspective on the different types of Christians that are out there, and how God uses all kinds of different people with all kinds of different thoughts and lifetstyles to create a community. I was raised by athiest parents but I became a Christian on my own as a young adult. I know what its like to have so many questions. To be searching for a peace that you know you need, but have no idea where to find. I encourage to keep asking questions, but don't abandon the faith of your youth. There is value in it, it was just distorted by sinful people. Learn to forgive them and move on to find other like-minded people who you can learn from. Start checking out smaller, non-denominational churches. They're usually more laid back. I beleive in God and that He has a plan. I believe that He made this Earth and all its wonders for us and that He gives us free will to make our own choices. He doesn't want to FORCE us to love Him. That's not really love at all. He gives us the choice, and hopes we choose Him. Unfortunately, some people use their free will to hurt others, and that's where tragedy in this world comes in, but He is still God and has a plan that is not always apparent to us right away. I believe that the Bible is our guide. Yes, there are some rules to follow, but if you read it, you'll find it is really more about "the Do's" than "the don'ts".... think of it like a fence around a playground. With no fence, the kids have to be careful while playing ball. You can't throw or kick too hard or use all their energy because you don't want the ball to roll out into the dangerous street. But with a fence, you can kick and throw as hard as you want. That ball will stay right where it belongs, in a safe place, and you can have way more fun because you are actually MORE free to kick and play and have a blast, knowing you are safe from danger.
Hope I've helped in some small way. Keep asking questions! Keep seeking answers! That's the key to a prosperous life.
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I am a smoker of 40 cigarettes a day. I am addicted and wondered how long it will be before smoking kills me (link)
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Wow! That's a lot. Yeah, it could be tomorrow or never. The point is, you know its not healthy and you WANT to quit. Go see your doctor for help. There are actually many medications that can help you quit. My husband used Chantix, and it totally stopped his cravings after a week.
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Isnt Jesus technically a zombie since he rose from the dead???? (link)
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LMAO! I never heard that one before. I guess its actually kind of a good question. The answer is no. Zombies are the "un-dead", meaning they are still dead, just animated. Jesus rose from the dead to become alive. He became a living being again and rose to heaven to await the end of days. His body disappeared because he physically came back to life and left earth.
I like the zombie angle, though.
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where dose it says in the bible that preacher sould or not get paid? (link)
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Preachers/pastors do a job. The Bible says "Let a man be paid his worth". There are many corrupt religious leaders out there who take advantage of their congregations and are greedy. They take money that belongs to the church and its ministries. Those people will ultimately pay the price for their greed. However, there are many other pastors/preachers who provide a genuine service. They hold no other jobs. They go to the hospital when someone is sick, counsel people who are having troubles, they are active in ministries such as feeding the poor, orphanages, etc. And most have families of their own. They need to be paid as well. Since they work for the church, that is where they are paid from. A truly open and honest pastor will have a SET salary that is not based on how much the church receives in tithes, but it set by a board of directors or leaders in the church. He/she should not deal with the money themselves, but receive a paycheck on a regular basis like the rest of the working world. And I'm sorry, but it is wrong that most religions don't believe in paying their leaders. How else should they survive? Buy food? Pay rent? Only large denominations like the Catholic church or Anglicans provide homes for their pastors. Most pastors must provide for their own care and families. So it might seem wrong to "pay" your pastor, but his JOB is pastoring. Its only wrong if that paycheck turns into something more, something greedier. I'm sure you've seen those people and are smart enough to know who they are and when to avoid them.
I believe it can be found in Lamentations in the Old Testament. I'm sorry I can't remember the chapter. I'll check. But Lamentations is an interesting book - its all about work and discipline and being a faithful worker.
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i was save when i was 13 years old. I believe in Jesus with all my heart and pray to God to forgive me. Time went by and i faded away from God. I came back to God when i realize how sin was destroying who God made me to be. But when trying to rededicate my life back to God i had trouble believing in the existence Jesus. It grief me because the bible says we have to believe in Jesus with all our heart. I ask myself the most important qestion anybody should ask themself. "Do i believe in Jesus with all my heart and truly it does seem real in my heart"
What do when Jesus does seem real to me anymore?
Need Biblical answers, your bother in need of help.
(link)
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This is totally normal, and even necessary, for every believer. We all go through times where we wonder and doubt. Its good to ask questions, to seek answers, not just to believe blindly. If Jesus doesn't seem real to you anymore, ask God for the answers. Even if you don't "feel" his presence, get on your knees and pray. Ask Him just what you asked us here. You'll be amazed, I know you will. Loving Jesus is like loving anyone else. There are times when I don't "FEEL" in love with my husband, but I push through those times until the "feeling" comes back. When you were first saved, everything was so knew and exciting. It was like waking up from a dark dream. The sun felt so good. But now that time has passes and real life has set in, its easy to forget those feelings. But faith isn't based on feelings. Its based on trust and experience. Bring these issues to a leader that you trust. You are not alone to feel this way, and believe me, you'll be better for it. Questioning God and His presence means you are actively engaged in seeking Him. Don't be discouraged. Press forward, keep asking questions (of good people you trust) and don't forget to pray. Ask for exactly what you want.
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My whole life, so far anyways, has been one, big, miserable hell. I'm going to be 19 in September and I don't feel like I can trust anybody. I've been told I'm pretty even beautiful, but I am not popular. Everybody makes fun of me, all throughout school they've made fun of me. My friends make fun of me, my family makes fun of me, and they do it in front of people who just met me which gives them a bad impression of me. I feel like everyone hates me because of some of the stuff they say. Everyone talks down to me when I say how I feel and I just hate it! Everyone seems to want to know how you feel and then when you tell them, they yell at you! I hate my life, and I hate being alive. No one would miss me if I was dead, so why does God keep me alive? (link)
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Is there anyone in you family (Mom, Dad, Aunt, Step-parent) that you can ask for help? It sounds to me like you need some counseling, but (depending on if you still live at home) you may need to have an adult in your family help you find one. You are young. You're trying to figure out what your place is in this world and why you are here. Its not uncommon to feel the way you feel right now, at your age. Its hard to communicate with others when you're not sure at all about yourself or what you're doing with your life. Your family may be insensitive, but I'm sure they do love you, and if they knew you were so miserable, SOMEBODY would reach out to you. Try to find a counselor/ therapist in you area. Believe me, it might sound weird, but it helps. Also, try to find some groups or clubs in your area that you might enjoy. Book clubs or volleyball or softball teams, chess, whatever you are interested in. This will help a lot because you'll be able to meet people you already have things in common with, and they will be new people, so they won't have any preconceived judgments about you, like your family would have. Its like starting with a clean slate. However, again, I strongly recommend counseling for your trust issues. You really need someone to talk to who's objective and won't judge you or your feelings. You're alive for a reason. Trust me, you would be missed if you were dead. Push those thoughts out of your head. They're lies to keep you from acheiving the amazing things that are ahead of you in your life.
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Hello, i used to go to church about 3 years ago, i was a pentacostal. I was into church and felt the holy spirt, sang in church, participated in all the youth activities,went to church camp and everything else. Now, i gave all that up and after i stop going to church, problems everywhere came..my health is also, not in good condidtion. i really do wanna go back to church but i just need a push to go..i dont know where to start. iwant to go back to my old church but then again i dont. Can anyone who went through this help? (link)
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Why don't you want to go back to your old church? Are you ashamed? Don't be. Jesus died for our sins so we never have to feel shame. Remember the story of the Prodigal Son? One son left his father so he didn't have to live under his rules. He went out into the world to live on his own. The other son stayed and helped his father faithfully. Years later the wayward son returned, broken, poor. He'd been living with pigs. And the father welcomed him with open arms and gave him everything good he had to offer. That's how God sees us. He knows we make mistakes and fall away, get distracted, but every time we come back it is a joyful celebration! He is waiting to give you all of His best gifts. Go back to church. Ask for forgiveness and feel no shame. You are a jewel in His crown.
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