about

Hey everybody! My name is Ann, and I think I give pretty good advice. I am nineteen, my favorite color is orange, I love pasta, am the oldest child out of five, am Catholic, and am a music education major with flute as my principle. Feel free to ask me anything, and I'll do my best!

advice

hey, im 17 and i have a 9 year old little sister. she's literally the biggest brat i know. i just want to help her. she's really beautiful, but i'm worried that when she gets older, things aren't going to go so well for her unless she learns how to respect and listen to her elders. she has adhd and has ocd. if things aren't going her way, she throws a tempertantrum, and when people tell her not to do something. she pushes their button and takes it too far. im also worried about how she's doing in school. i believe she's one of the smartest kids i know, but she's so ignorant. when it comes to learning, she gets too aggrivated and gives up. so now she just hates learning and doesn't listen when anyone who is trying to teach her something important. also she has a problem with keeping up with her stuff and a problem with putting things back the way they were istead she ignores it and does what she wants. it seems to me she has no motivation or drive to improve, all she's interested in is having fun and getting what she wants. all i want to know is: what can i do to help her?

i thought about briving her, but i don't know if that's a good idea.

Hi,

Being a bigger sister really is a job. I have four younger siblings, and my youngest sister is also nine. I've learned (well...I'm still learning) that there is a line between parent and sister. Your concern is completely justified...it's just natural to want to help your sister. I think it may be a good idea to try to calmly talk to your parents about what worries you. As far as what you can do, try to bond with her doing random activities. If you're seventeen, then she's bound to look up to you or think some of the things you do are cool. Try to do "grown up" fun stuff with her. When your bond is stronger, maybe she'll follow your good example more often.

Hope I helped,
Ann

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15/f
Hi I found out about 3 years ago that my friends parents parents both smoke weed. They dont do it around me or my friend they do it in there room, so were not around it, and they both are good parents, they both work and have a house of there own and there very responsible people, and I still have that thought in my mind that they both do it, and my my friends mom knnows I know about it and she tells me not to talk about it. what should my friend jasmin do?

Her parents would get in serious trouble if this was ever caught. I would hate for Jasmin to have to deal with what might happen to her if this ever happens. It's cases like this when there is no cookie cutter answer. Maybe she should try really talking to her parents about these concerns. I know that's a lot easier said than done, but it's also a lot easier of what could happen if things were to go badly.

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i am very shy around my dad and stepmother. i'm not really sure why. we see each other a lot, i mean at least five or six times a week. my dad teaches me to drive, takes me to movies and dinner, etc. my stepmom takes me shopping and to the salon. we do things as a group, too. we're really close.

but for some reason, i'm never completely myself around them. depending on my mood, i might talk freely or keep to myself. i don't understand why i do this. i notice it happens more frequently when i'm with both my dad and my stepmom, or just my stepmom. so i'm kind of guessing it has more to do with her.

i also have anxiety when i realize that i'm being too shy. i'll give them one word answers and then think, "oh god, why am i doing this?" and then i feel like crying and i ask them to drop me off it home. it hurts my feelings because they never call me afterwards to ask if i'm okay, and as a result, the next time i see them, the shyness is even worse.

my stepmom has been around since i was four, and i don't even speak to my birth mother. the weird thing is that it's just them. i am usually not this shy around anyone else. i'm also seventeen years old and i think i'm too old to be feeling this way. please help me; i hate feeling this way. thank you in advance.

Hey,

I can imagine that this would be very stressful. It's hard when you act someway and you're not sure why. You should probably know that feeling like this around your parents is normal for any teenagers. Our lives are just very different from our parents, even if we love them and enjoy hanging out with them. Do they realize that you're feeling this way? If you thought you might be comfortable with it, you could try talking to them about it, or maybe just your dad. Don't worry about being too old for this. Often, it's even weirder as we grow up. I hope things work out for you.

-Ann

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My parents might get a divorce. And i feel like i should do somthing to try and save their marriage. Is there anyone who has gone through the same problems that i am and can help?

I know that you already have a lot of answers, but yah...I do know what you're going through because I went through it last year. All I can tell you is that I know it will hurt to see you parents divorsed, but they wouldn't be doing ti if they didn't have a good reason. If your parents can't be happy together anymore, then you can't do anything to hold them together. I know it will not be easy to deal with/get used to. However, all I can tell you is that in my experience it was not as bad as i thought it would be by far. I can only hope that your experience is the same.

Best Wishes,
Ann

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I'm not sure how to explain this. For example, I'm trying to lose weight, see. And my Aunt tells me that I've lost some weight. I don't like to hear those things from her.

At first I thought it was because I fear success. But if my wife gives me an encouraging comment like that then I take it good. I feel good. I feel encouraged. And it's like that with everyone. But from my Aunt... well, with the weight thing, it'll make me feel like eating more and gaining weight to make her wrong.

It might help if I explain a little bit more about my relationship with my Aunt. She raised me and for a long time I felt like she was my mother; even after she told me she wasn't. In the last few years though I've thought like that somewhat less. I still feel somewhat like she's my mother but not as strongly as I once did.

So what could be the problem?

It may be possible that your aunt has always been right. Maybe she has done something to make her apear to be smarter then you. In case you are not following, let me give you my example. I am the oldest of five children. My sisters have always been right up there with me. Always...ALWAYS it seems like I am competing with them. If I looked they were wrong, then I felt that I looked better, though that isn't true. I think that you maybe feeling somewhat like this.

As for her being your mother. It is obvious that she is not, but she is a motherly figure. She was the woman who raised you. So, the feeling would be the same, even if she is not.

Hope I helped,
Ann

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okay well my dad knows basically all of my guy friends b.c our culture is really really close to eachother so when im talkin to my guy friends they'll be like ur dad is the best hes so cool he talks to me abut this and that well there is no problem really i guess its cool that he talks to my guy friends but a part of me doesnt want him to.. why is this>?

I get what you are talking about totally. And, of course you don't always want your dad to talk to any of your friends. Its just weird. But, even though thats what we teenagers think, it really is no big deal. All I can't tell you is don't stress too much, unless your friends don't like him. (lucky they do)

Lots of Luck,
Ann

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I am 42,male, my brother is 50 married with one son.
My brother recently(9 months ago) won £4.5 million UK pounds on the lottery. My Question is this, he sent me a copy of him receiving the cheque and that is it, I considered us to be pretty close prior to his win, but all i feel now is bitterness, not jealousy, which i can imagine people would say i am. just bitter, i always said and still maintain that i would help my family out if such a windfall should fall on me, am i wrong to feel this emotion or should i be angry, I am really struggling with this so constructive answers would, i hope help me to come to terms with this,

I can understand where that emotion is coming from enitirely. It's hard when you get the short end of the stick. And, as I am definetly not the lucky one, I can relate big time. I think though that you should try your best to be happy for your brother. It is hard, but everyone gets that moment once. He got lucky. You will too someday, maybe not in the same sense, but just think about it. You know that there have been times when you got better then your brother, and there still will be. WOuld you like it if you brother thought of you as you do of him now.

Lots of Luck, (literally)
Ann

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hi.my names jaylene and i my parents recently just got divoreced and ever since that ive been getting into drugs and cutting myself and my parents(mom mostly) abuse me and call me stuff like a whore all the time. my brother hurts me and does the same as my parents. everyone i no thinks im so happy and i just want to let it all out and tell all of them that im not! and i want to get out of my life and start a new one but thats not goin to happen...theres one good part i love my boyfriend weve been goiing out for 6 months and hes the only one that keeps me going everyday or else who knows whered id be but yeah i dont no wut to do about drugs and abuse and my parents so please HELP me!!! ps i love shawn!!

Well, first of all you should NOT be doing drugs. That is really really bad, and you will end up learning that the hard way if you don't quit now. As for your mom, no one deserves that. You may need to tell someone seriously. Yes, it may be really tough, but you can't handle that sort of thing on your own. Our school has a safe school help line, or you could talk to a trusted teacher or guidence counceler. I wish you lots of luck, Ann

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