Crysta-Ann's

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I haven't seen my mother for 9 years, I'm 14. She's been on methampthetamines my entire life. I just got word today of where she is, I talked to her about 3 years ago. I need to go see her so that I can get over the fact that she will never be my mom. I just need some advice on what to say to her, and I really want to tell her to stop doing methampthetamines. I know that I won't be able to help her, but I just need some advice on how to deal with the fact that I will never have her as my mom, and that I will never be able to help her. I know it's hard to answer, but please, if anyone can help me. The pressure is too much, I'm seeing her this weekend. Please help me. I have no one else to turn to.

Ok, I can understand how not having your mom around would put a huge gap in your life. For that i'm sorry. I think that it was very responsible of you to except that she will never be your mother. Are you absolutly positive that you don't want her around, or that she'll leave again? Make sure, because this could be your only real chance to talk with her. I'm not trying to stress you out more though. Try to meet some place private so that you two can really talk. Explain to her calmly that she hasn't been a big part of your life, since she's been gone. Tell her exactly how you feel, but try to avoid blaming her, Phrase things to be 'I' Instead of 'You,' as in "I felt very badly these years." Instead of "You left me alone all these years!" It will make her listen more closley to what you have to say. She also might think that you want to patch things up, and she can be your mom again. So don't spend the whole day with her doing fun things, only to tell her at the end that she can't keep jumping in and out of your life. Get right to the point. Try to be alone with her, having your dad or something around is going to have you both harbor your feelings. Sorry. I hope I could help at least a little. Luck!!

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im 13 an di have a lot of older guy friends who work at local mall ....one of the guys just happens to be the guy who sold me my cell and he has a wife and a daughter.....another one of my firends is gay.....i just told my mom that everytime i got to the mall i give the cell phone guy a hug....and she got pissed.....this always happens...i swear everybody i kno she thinks iis gonna rape me.....then she told me how she was taken advantage of when she was a year olda than me.....i dont wanna stop givin hugs to the cell phone guy but she getts pissed

what do i do.....i try to assure her that ill be fine but she said if i keep talkin to ppl at the mall she wont let me ever go bakk

Your mom is probablly just worried about you. I know that it can get pretty annoying sometimes. Is there any reason that she has to think that he would rape you? Does he have past offences? Is he more than eight years older than you? Think about these questions first. Hearing your mom tell you how she was taken advantage of has probably changed a lot between you two. But, it's good that you have such an open relationship with each other. I wouldn't stop telling her what you were doing, it would only make you both unhappy. Talk to your mom and reassure her that you will be alright. Try to take a couple of girl freinds to the mall with you, or even invite her to come once or twice to see that everything will be alright. Try to come up with a plan that will work for both of you. Like you can only go in a group with at least one girl. Or you can't go to the mall after 5 pm. Or that you'll call her when you get to the mall, and call before you leave. Even just telling her how long you'll be there. Any of these would show your mom that you're responsible and willing to compromise like an adult, which will put her at ease, and most likely make her loosen up. Good Luck!

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I did gymnastics at one gym for 4 years. Then I switched to another gym because I didn't like the gym I was at. So then I go to one practice at this gym, only me and my friend from school showed up. I liked it then. Then the other night I went for the second practice. I didn't like it. There was a bunch of people and I like smaller groups and I could just hear them whispering about me and I wasn't comfortable with that. So now that I told my mom I just wanted to quit and then she says I need to go to the mental hospital because I can't make up my mind and that I need to go see a therapist and that I am not going on our school trip to Canada in May BECAUSE I WANT TO QUIT! Why spend money on gymnastics if I am not having fun there?! I really want to go to Canada with my school but she won't let me now! And I have to go to a mental hospital cuz I can't make up my mind?!! WTF. Seriously. I wish she would just go fucking live somewhere else FAR away so I never have to see her EVER again. She makes my life fucking MISERABLE. Now I have to go see a therapist, again! I want to die, or I want her to die. ITS NO FAIR. Wtf do I do?

I understand your stress, I hate when I'm told I can't do something, especially something fun, for something minor. I don't think that she needed to go as far as to say that you needed to go to a mental institute. Do you often feel like people are talking about you? Sometimes thats just feeling self conscious, but if it's repetitive, you may have a phobia of sorts. Nothing that you would need to go to a hospital for though. I think that you should sit your mom down at a calm time, and tell her how you feel, about everything. Avoid yelling, don't blame her, even if it's her fault. Instead of saying, "You hate me! You don't under stand!" Say something like, "I feel like you don't love me, and don't care about my feelings." See, if you say 'I' instead of 'you' she'll be more willing to listen to what you have to say, and will probably take what you've said more seriously. If you don't want to go to the gym, you shouldn't have to though. I also understand wanting your mom to just leave, but on the inside, you probably really want a good relationship with her. I wish you luck, and happiness.

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ok well i seem to get into major fights with my brother which then leads to my parents! and the fights are usually me ending up really hurt! today was one of them! i got beat in the head by my 18 eyar old brother and my parents said i deserved it. and i had major panic attack because i was hit so hard! so my mom says she cares about me.. but then says she hates me and that i need to go to hell and blah blah blah! and my brother gets away with everything! he was told to leave the truck keys here, and he didnt and didnt get in trouble. and he steals a lot of stuff from me and my parents, and continues to get what he wants! i have told my mom several times what is happening and she does not believe anything i say and does not think i am right! and it always ends up with me hit some way some how! i am only 15. and my brother is on probation, but drinks underage and smokes pot alot. i dont know how to handle this anymore, and if i try to leave i will get the cops called on me by my parents! i am ONLY 15, getting literally emotionally and physically abused by my family! i have called the cops on my family but it seems to do no good, b/c they do not help me! please, if anyone is out there that is a mother or a father or someone that could help me! please.. i need something to help me deal with this situation! =( please, help me

Ok, you seem like you have a lot of anger in you, and I can understand that. You sound like you're miserable on the inside. I think that you should contact social services if you want to leave. Take pictures of yourself after the beatings with witnesses to prove that it was actually you. (at least two) Maybe you could secretly tape record conversations that are going to be particularly bad, and then replay it to your parents after they and you have calmed down. (preferably in a calm time, like evening or morning) And no, you DO NOT deserve what is happening to you, call the police again when you have proof of your abuse. If they don't do anything, look into an lawyer. Also, you might want to see if you could live with a relative who lives away from your brother and parents, like aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I know how emotional abuse can be, I found that keeping a journal helped me reflect and clear my thoughts. Another thing that you could do is see a therapist or counselor at school to help you get the help you need. You can get a social worker through your school. Please don't let this go on any longer, you deserve way better. The key is getting it out there and proof. I'm praying for you, and I truly hope that you can get the help you need.

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