Gender: Female
Age: 44
Member Since: May 3, 2004
Answers: 10
Last Update: May 4, 2004
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I am a 31-year-old divorcee with a 4-year-old son. I also am charged with caring for my developmentally disabled 33-year-old brother, who has the mental capacity of 8-year-old. My son's father is moving next week, and taking my child with him. I will not see my son again until Christmas, and then after that not until April. I am devastated that the family courts here in Seattle have allowed this to happen (no, there's nothing wrong with me...my ex just won), and I am now at a loss as to how to handle this. I can't stop crying, I can't take the time off my new job to go to therapy, and I have to be careful falling apart at home because it scared my brother.
HELP? (link)
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I know this is a very difficult time and my heart goes out to you but you've got to start thinking about yourself now. You haven't totally lost your son as you obviously still have visitation rights. Now you're going to have to focus on making you as strong as you can be. Sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger because they don't know you and it's harder to judge. It's okay to cry when you're hurting but you have a reserved strength that you need to find a way to tap into. It's hard enough having to deal with a failed marriage but losing a child simply because some judge says that's the way it's going to be, I can't imagine your pain but if you need a ear to listen, I'm here . . . .
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Every time my husband and I go anywhere with our 4-year old daughter, she wines and cries in the car, or babbles and sings constantly. Although I prefer the latter, sometimes I just want QUIET!There is no escape in a car, and sound echoes. I don't want to be forced to play kiddie music for her constantly either. How can I get her to behave? (link)
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Take an activities bag along that's right there in the back seat with her. Usually when children have something to do like color or a picture book, they tend to go into their own little world and are a little quieter. Teach her the quiet game but you have to make it fun! Make rewards for her being quieter while in the car. I have a 3 1/2 year old grand-daughter that likes to yell at me from the back seat and when I started bringing along things she liked as activities, the noise got much lessor. I can promise you it's going to stop all together but it will help.
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I have a 3 year old daughter with an UNCONTROLIBLE temper and she slaped my friend in the face what should I do? (link)
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I've never been an advocate of sparing the rod and spoiling the child but it sounds like you need to get a handle on this situation before she gets any older. When she's acting out that way, first try talking to her (letting her know that her behavior is not exceptable), second; give her a time out for what she's done (letting her know that the next step you take will be to give her a spanking) and if all else fails, live up to your word (a little sting to her behind won't kill her). They say people without children are always trying to tell others how to raise their children. This isn't the case this time. I've raised two sons (grown now)that weren't always angels. There's nothing wrong with a little constructive fear in parenting. That's why God made us bigger . . . . :o)
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Hello, I may be pregnant with a seperated mans baby. Now I'm thinking of all the scenarios that could happen and need advice. I want what's in the best interested for my child. Now this man is technically still married and has a child with his wife, they all have the same lastname. If I had the child and was not married, is it wrong to give the child my lastname? What about child support issues? I'd never keep the baby from his dad, but what if the father denies this baby? I would want to put him on the birth certificate but what if he's not there, can he still be put on it? I live in the state of Pennsylvania. Please any advice would help. (link)
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I'm sure both of you were aware of the complications of having unprotected sex. The STD's and HIV/AIDS issues alone should have been enough to make both think twice but that's beside the point now that a pregnancy maybe be involved. My advice to you is to be honest and tell the father about your concerns, regardless of his marital status. You didn't make this baby alone and shouldn't shoulder the responsibility alone. Check with your human resource service (HRS) to find out what steps can be taken to secure support for the child if the father resists in excepting financial responsibility. You can't force him to be a part of the child's life but you can seek his financial assistance. It's not wrong to want your child to bare the father's last name but depending on the state's laws where you are, it may not be his choice in the matter. Check with the state's (paternity) laws before pressing the issue. Having a child alone is never an easy decision but the suffering can be minimized financially if both are participating toward the child's welfare. In otherwords, don't be the martyr for a situation you didn't create alone!
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