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advice
16/f
This is a long, somewhat confusing question. I realize that it is a lot of work to figure this out so any serious answers will definately be rated appropriately. I really appreciate any advice.
For the last couple of months, I have had several 'downs' and few 'ups' with this situation. I am being harassed by girls from my school, some are "ex-friends" and others are just people who don't know me. I am wondering what is the most beneficial next step to take.
Involved People (females aged 15 to 17+):
Myself - Usually in a good mood, polite, kind to others, strongly opinionated, willing to stand up for causes which I believe in. Straight A's (with very few exceptions) and a dedicated student. Last summer I went to many parties. Strong willed, self confident and "always dressed up" describes me.
Tracey - One of my best friends, ex-best friends with Annie, used to be good friends with Danielle and Kaya.
Danielle - Last summer we were best friends, she is a "party animal," low grades, jealous of her best friend, Kaya.
Kaya - Danielle's new best friend, many insecurities, low grades, treats people badly to make herself feel better (laughing at overweight people), acts like she is amazing.
Annie - Used to be best friends with Tracey. Follows Danielle and Kaya with whatever they do.
Here is a basic timeline of the sitation for reference, I have all of the recent activity documented carefully on my computer:
November - Danielle and I got in an argument. I was talking to people at our lunch table about how I was worried about her. I also said she is friends with people then just ditches them and that I was thinking I should talk to her about it. It got back to her before I talked to her about it, she got mad and I apologized. She said tons of mean stuff to me so I ended up not talking to her for weeks. I was excluded from everything and always ended up at home doing nothing.
December - Things were great, Annie always told Tracey how much she disliked me (behind my back) but we started to become friends. At the end of the month I was excluded from "secret santa" because of my dispute with Danielle, and everyone (lunch table people) said they didn't want ME making conflict.
January - Conflicts were slightly resolved but Tracey and I noticed we were being excluded from all events and birthday parties. We started to become closer and hang out a lot.
February - Some "tough/druggie" girls attacked me, saying I "dress like a / am a tramp" and I was hit in the back of the head. I walked away from them but everyone was talking about how I "ran away crying." I still do not see why they did this and it is completely unfair. I do not dress out of the ordinary, usually - when I wear a skirt I have long legs so it looks short, but who cares anyways. I always avoid walking that way now.
March - Annie began to get mad because Tracey and I were so close. She started talking behind my back again and to Danielle and Kaya (Annie did not like Kaya at the time). Danielle, Kaya and Annie began to grow closer due to their hate of me. The 3 of them would always make plans infront of Tracey and I and purposely not invite us.
April - Danielle wrote a blog about people she hated, and I said "Honestly, do you consider me one of those people?" In reply, she went crazy and said a ton of mean things about me. She said I shouldn't bother replying because she did not want to start a "bitch fight." I was outraged, and told her to say it to my face. At school she couldn't look at me and was afraid.
April Cont - Kaya stood up for Danielle and said I was "attacking" her. I was just not letting Danielle walk all over me, I no longer wished to be friends with her and immediately stopped talking to them. I told Kaya that it was not her business. One day at lunch, Kaya and I got in a big arguement and she ended up leaving the table.
April Cont - Kaya, Danielle and Annie went to the "tough/druggie" group of girls and told them what was happening. I started to be harassed by these new girls (I will call them the hawks) and they threatened to beat me up. I backed off, feeling overwhelmed. I completely stopped talking to all of those people.
April Cont - At the same time, Tracey told Annie that she felt excluded, so Annie went against her. It was now Danielle/Kaya/Annie against Tracey and I.
May - Danielle tried to start a fight with Tracey over the computer over nothing. Pointless things continued to happen even though we weren't speaking to Danielle. I started talking to Annie and Kaya again (I regret this now) and we were fine together. I tried to be nice and work things out since the whole fight was over very little. I tried to resolve things with the "hawks" but I was still constantly stared at by them at school.
June - Tracey, myself and two of our other friends made a funny video and posted it on facebook. It wasn't about anyone it was just a pointless music video dancing around in big coats. Danielle, Kaya and Annie "copied" our video but tried to "copy our make-up, clothes and moves." They exaggerated everything and acted like completely sluts (I can honestly say that) then told everyone to "say whose is better." It was obnoxious.
June Cont - They began to harass me on MSN but I said "haha yeah you're great at being us. bye!" and blocked them. Kaya was me, Annie was Tracey and Danielle was my other best friend from the video. One day walking along the street after our friend's birthday lunch, Danielle and Kaya rode by on a bike and yelled "ugly ass sluts!" to us. We ignored them. Later on, Annie and Danielle apologized to Tracey and included me in the apology (it was never sent to me) and Tracey "accepted" their apology.
June Cont - Annie and Danielle left for a month long student exchange trip in Europe. Kaya found a new "best friend" (Ellen), whom I used to be friends with last summer but we rarely saw eachother. Kaya and Ellen posted pictures in short skirts and tanktops saying "oh ya.. this is how (my name) stands and dresses" and posted them on facebook. Kaya, Ellen, Danielle and Annie have all been put on "limited profile" for my facebook and cannot see anything except my name and a nearly blank page.
Ellen lives on my street, like a two minute walk away. She has been in many fights and now I am feeling threatened because in my honesty box on facebook, Kaya threatened that if I went to any bonfires or parties this summer that she would fight me or get other people to. Annie and Danielle are gone for three more weeks, but Ellen and Kaya are so close. In addition, they have all of the "hawks" on their side.
I have just been staying home/inside to avoid conflict and I am sick of this harassment. Please help. =(
Wow, i feel your pain.
In my opinion i think you should completely ignore them...dont talk to them, sit somewhere else at lunch dont even bother looking at them. i think you should have a group of best friends...that to you are "true"..that will always have your back because incase kaya, ellen, danielle or annie try to start a fight with you...you will have not only tracey but a couple of people on your side.
another thing, dont hit them..let them hit you first. you shouldn't hit them back anyways. however, you have the right to tell adminstration or authorities that so and so hit you. you could also press charges, which seems to me you most likely will.
dont stay home and try to "avoid" conflict, your gonna be depressed and bored. no no no! its summer, go out and have the best time. who cares if they hate you. everyone has enemies, don't let them "control" your life. dont be afrarid of them.
let me tell you something.
if you start going out in public and having fun, word will get around to them about it...which is good because then they will be like NO! WHAT?????? like they would be shocked, cause right now they probably think that you are scared of them and your hiding from drama. dont be scared, you have to be the stronger one. dont listen to what anyone has to say, just based your opinions on your best judgement!
hope i helped!
-courtney
have more advice? ask(:
when you shave your bikini line, are you supposed to shave up or down? idk how to not get red bumps!
think about it-
when you shave your legs, do you shave up or down.
if you shave down then you arent really getting rid of any hair, your just probably hurting yourself.
next time try shaving up to reduce bumps(:
hope i helped.
-courtney!(:
does anybody know any at home ways to get rid of bags under eyes?
you should be well rested, try to get at least eight hours of sleep a night.
what i do sometimes, is that i put on some coverup and then go over it with a little bit of blush. therefore your eyes stand out more.
(: hope i helped.
-courtney
why isn't it healthy to wash your hair everyday?? i do that and i dont see anything wrong with my hair. i'm just womdering
Washing your hair everyday drys your hair out. Also, something to keep in mind is that, lets say someone in your school gets lice. You have a more likely chance to get lice, because lice like clean hair.
So it would be so much better if you washed your hair every other day or so. Don't last a week without washing it or so because then that is just really disgusting. Because then your hair starts smelling and thats just gross!
Hope I helped!
-Courtney
So im gonna get a new cell phone this weekend .. i have verizon. idk which phone to get .. cost really isnt an issue. is the razor good? or the chocolate? i wanna get something reallyyy cool that everyones gonna love. any advice is appreciated
In my opinion, I would get the razr. I like it alot. Especially the blue & pink one!
The chocolate is cool too - just not something I would love to have, like the razr!
Hope I helped! :D
-Courtney
Omg does anyone know what a FRIEND ID is on myspace. Like when you do layouts you have to put in your FRIEND ID somewhere in the code & i d k what it is .. PLEASE HELP
:]
Go to www.myspace.com
Click View Profile.
Then look at the URL link at the top of the page.
Find friendid=[and a bunch of numbers here]
..thats your friend id!
Simple as that!
Hope I helped!
-Courtney
So I went to the beach about two weeks ago and got a lot of sun. I'm just now starting to peel on my chest. What is the best thing to do to make it go away?
I would suggest you use Aloe.
I'm from Florida and I go to the beach quite often and get major sun-burn. I always use Aloe and it makes my skin feel so much better.
I would suggest you at least try it!
you can find Aloe in CVS ; Target etc.
Hope I helped!
-Courtney
ok. I currently have a wet2straight hair straightener, and it works fine, but it damages my hair a lot and doesn't do that well of a job. I was searching online for other hair straighteners and came across the Solia Tourmaline flat iron? the website is here: http://www.folica.com/Solia_Tourmalin_d1558.html. Has anyone used this one before? Is it any good? This one was under $100, so I thought that would be good and it also go pretty good reviews. So is it good? Also, I really want it for the beginning of school, but my mom and dad are like, just wait till your birthday or christmas [my birthday is 5 days away from christmas lol] anyway.. I said that I'd pay half the price, if my mom/dad paid the other half. But they are saying not til Christmas. How can I get them to let me get it now!?? I'm starting high school and want my hair to look good!! :] lol. please help, thank you
I'm going to tell you right off the bat, the more expensive hair straighters are, the better they are. I used to have those cheap ones from target [etc] and they did a horrible job to my hair. So last Christmas, I got what is called the, "True Cermamic Pro" Hair Straighter. Let me tell you it WORKS! & my hair doesn't get damaged from it.
Here is the site:
http://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/true_ceramic_pro.html
Look at it.
I know its a little expensive..but its totally worth it! You have no idea. It comes with 6 hair clips, 1 comb, and a huge red hairbrush! :D
It comes with a DVD, that tells you how to do specific hair styles.
Now, the URL you provided above, if you look at the before & after pictures, they look nothing like each other! The URL I provided, now they do look like the each other!
Well if you were gonna pay half the price, you would have to pay like $60.00 [which isn't all that bad]
Well, I hope I helped you.
:D
-Courtney
ps. i know what you mean when you say you bday is 5 days after christmas. [mine is 7 days after christmas! :D]
hello well this is kind of random so i thought what a great catagory for it to be in.lol. anywayz in 2 years i will be moving to Cairo, egypt. well is there any sites that could help me learn the culture, like daily life and things small like that. thank you.
:D
Congrats on your move to Egypt.
Heres a link to learn more about Cairo's culture:
http://www.cairotourist.com/
Heres a link to learn more about Cairo's daily life:
http://www.cairotourist.com/cairolife.htm
If you need any other help or advice,
Please let me know!
:D
-Courtney
Whats the code to change the font size on myspace to make the letters it smaller or bigger?
Search google.
Or any code site.
:D
Cause I tried writing the code on here & it didn't work! Sorry!
Hope I helped.
-Courtney
I moved into an apartment with my friend and now I wanna move out. The problem is, we don't know who gets what (lamps, tables, couches, kitchen stuff...). Honestly, everything in MY room is what I paid for, and I bought most of everything else, but I can't remember exactly who bought what. How do we decide fairly who gets what? How do I handle something like this better in the future?
My suggestion would be to decide together.
What you want to take.
Sit down with your friend & decide do you want to keep this or not.
I know you don't want her having 'your stuff'. But if you think about it..you guys shared your apartment, you can share your items.
To handle something like this better in the future, I would suggest knowing what you own.
I mean, putting labels down are smart but also tacky.
So in other words, talk to your friend about things. Ask her if she would like to have this. I mean if you seriously really want a specific couch and she doesn't want it [whether she owns it or not], shes giving it to you. And Honestly, you need the basic things in life to live in a house [lamps, tables, couches etc.]. You can't have all of it, cause your friend needs it too!
First, get a pad a pencil and write down [your friend's name] on 1 side and [your name] on the other. Make a list of all the things in your room that you will be taking and decide who is getting what.
That would be my solution.
If you have any other questions.
Let me know :D