My mom was an active alcoholic for years and it ruined a lot of my childhood - especially high school. It was hard to watch and difficult to deal with an addict. The good news is, she's been sober for 4 years.
I'm really proud of her and am so happy, but now I'm 21. I want to have a drink now and then or just have some alcoholic beverage laying around for if I feel like drinking, but I'm so terrified to keep alcohol in the house.
How do I continue the occasional drink at 21 without making her feel bad or go down the wrong path again?
It may be best to not have it in the house at all. Also (I assume your her biological daughter and not adopted), alcoholism is heredity. I'm sure you know that already. Please make sure you watch out for yourself and that you don't notice a similar path of your own. I say this because I had a major alcohol and drug problem. I have been completely sober though for just over eighteen and a half years now
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today one friend saw that i habe a bandaid on my hand and asked me if i selfharm or something and i totally paniced,i made some lame excuse and i really hope she bought it,what the hell is so wrong with me,i felt so exposed when she saw it,like it was the end of something,and dont tell me that cutting is wrong,i know that,but it helps me and believe me i dont have anyone who i can tell,noone would understand
Been there, done the cutting myself. In regards to you stating it "helps," I get that. But, please realize there are other healthy outlets. You may have difficult times in life, as we all do, but try to not turn to physically hurting yourself in any way, shape, or form. What the cutting (probably) does for you, and how view it:
1. you have intense/extreme emotional pain
2. you don't have many ways to get that pain out of you, be it in words on paper, doing something healthy, or talking about it to someone
3. having no outlet in turns adds to the current pain your in
4. you have an over-whelming sensation to do something to rid yourself of the pain
5. you then cut yourself
6. this cutting then "releases" your internal pain. You are then able to shift your mind to THE PHYSICAL PAIN you now feel, and you can now visually "see" the pain (blood) releasing out of your body from the cutting
7. This shifting FROM your mental pain, to your now PHYSICAL pain helps your mind focus less on the mental pain. But, this is only temporary
8. you now feel even worse because the mental pain returns soon after the cutting, and now you have added to that pain because you probably feel ashamed/mad at yourself for physically cutting yourself
PLEASE realize im assuming your thought process above. I don't know you, but I have a feeling this is fairly accurate as to what you may think. again, ive been there.
I state that I believe this is how you probably think due to the fact that I've been told directly by a professional psychologist that I have an "Extremely high level of emotional intelligence." In simplest terms, this means that its very easy for me to express, understand, empathize, communicate, feel, convey, etc what I feel and what OTHER PEOPLE feel. I am NOT a doctor, by any means, but ive worked hard for many years at reframing my thought process, and have been very successful at it
Lastly, I do want to directly address the last sentence of your post: the fact that you believe no-one would understand and that you have nobody you can tell..... I imagine that statement you wrote is NOT correct. Im a total stranger, and I do understand. Your family and friends may surprise you, in that they may understand more than you give them credit for. I recommend having the courage to tell them, and you may get a result (in a good way) that you're not expecting. im more than happy to continue to help you, if youd like.....
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