xx2momma2xx's advice column | xx2momma2xx's Advice About Love Life

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Q: first things first...
I am 16/f and the guy is 16 and my guy best friend...
Ok, well I really really love this guy, and I told him...and well things got all wierd but then one of my friends said don't talk to him for a while 'the lets take a break death-sentence' anyways so i did and well we havnt talkeds since about the 19th dec. and yea. yesterday he sent me an email that read something like "why aren't you on msn anymore!? thats all i have to say!" and well I answered it. now we havbt talked since that, should i wait for him to email me or should i email/call him?

If you just wait, he may think you are trying to avoid him and stop trying to talk to you. You should definitly give him a call or e-mail him and let him know how you feel. Tell him you still want to be friends but you just felt like things were awkward after you told him you loved him, and that you don't want things to be like that. If you don't talk to him about it, things will never get fixed.

Q: hey well i have known this guy all my life. we were really good friends untill we got defferint classes. i prob havent talked to him in about 2 year. Are school is small only about 100 in high & middle 2gether.Both of are parents work at the school so i see him alot. How do i get him to notice me and how do i know if he likes me.

p.s. he use to like me

Talk to him. You never know what he is thinking unless you ask him. Just pick a time you know you are going to see him, and just tell him that you would like to start hanging out with him again, and one day when you are hanging out, just ask him if he still likes you. If he does, good... If he says no, then say okay, continue being his friend, and move on with your love life.

Q: well my very first love and i broke up about a month ago. We still talk. He already has a new girlfriend. Wich hurts me terribly. But for the whole time we werent together, i told myself i wanted to be with him, and i need him to be complete. But then i looked back and i realized things werent all that great with him, ( thats why we broke up it was a mutual thing).But when i first met him i think thats when i fell in love and i couldnt fall out of love. So now i told myself to be honest with myself, that i love him but dont really want to be with him. So im trying to suport his relationship. But i feel like im still in denile. Like i really do want to be with him but am just trying to make myself feel better bye saying i dont. Im so cunfused. Help?

It's hard to get over a love...Especially the first one. But you just need to give it time. Don't stop being his friend, and you should definitly support him in his new relationship. Eventually you will find someone else too, and you guys will all be friends and it will be like nothing ever happend with you and this guy, and you will be JUST FRIENDS. Just give it a little time...

Q: okay well this is sort of complicated and it might be long so im sorry about that...but okay so this guy that im in love with moved a few months ago to a different state kinda far away from me and but we stayed together but then he broke up with me saying that it was too hard for both of us,even though we still love each other.So that was about hmm in august this happened..and so he told me back october that he was coming to visit for thanksgiving because his sister goes to college here and the rest of his family is still up here and he wanted to know if i wanted to hang out with him..and i said of course i would! and so november came and he said he would call me when he arrived and he did,and he asked me if i wanted to hang out the next night and i said sure and i called him back but he never picked up (he was only in town for 4 days by the way oh and it also happened to be my birthday weekend) so time passed and i never got a clal back form him whiel he was in town and by the 4th day i knew he left and i cried the whole weekend i was devestated i was a mess on my birthday.When he arrived back home he leave me a message on myspace saying happy birthday and no explaination didnt even call me and i had to tell him how i felt and i asked him to explain and he said because he lost his phone on a train which i thought was legit because he looses things alot but like after that he was pretending like everything was okay like he never came up here so i complained how he never said sorry and thats all i wanted and how i missed him soo much and he never apologize im been depressed since thanksgiving...and so i thought since he wouldnt pick up his cell phone and i dont like calling his house i left him a message on myspace after we havent talked for about a week i said i missed him and hes says why? im nothing special when he usually says he misses me too oh by the way before the messages when i complained about it hes like ive been depressed too you were the main reason i came up there and how he wants to get away and stuff and hes like its obvious you dont want to talk to me anymore (because i was complaining about it) and i said thats not it and i sent him 3 messages saying im sorry and that when he wants to talk to me again to talk to me and its been a week and a half and we havent been talking i miss him soo much and since christmas is monday i want to be okay with him again..i dont even know if im the problem or something else is bothering him he wont tell me i feel stupid complaining but i mean it was my birthday he never called me and didnt say sorry i was soo hurt...so my question is should i try talking to him again or wait till he talks to me? and your thoughts about everything it sucks because i cant even last a week without talking to him..i miss him alot...thank you for taking the time to read this,i hope you can help me out

Just give it time, and in the mean time, move on. Act like it doesn't bother you. Guys are just wierd like that. They tend to want things until they have it, and then they don't want it anymore. If you just wait it out, he will come back to you. And if he doesn't, move on...Find someone new. I know it is hard to just move on, but I also know that what they say about long distance relationships is true. I have had a few myself and they never worked out. I would get upset too and then I would move on. Now I am very happy with the guy I am with right now...We are going to have a baby and hopefully live happily ever after. You don't HAVE to have a man in your life to survive, but if you can find the right one, it is always nice...And if he is the right one, it will work out.

Q: okay so i've liked this guy named derek for a long time.and so do alot of other girls. i was his first friend an we are still friends as well i mean i have been his bud since 1st grade and all the other girls liked him since 5th grade when he got taller and junk but anyway its weird to have to like him because he is a major flirt to every girl and if you like him everyone that doesnt have a crush on him or anything will think your weird even my best friend sorta knows that i like him but im shy to tell her because well you know
so should i keep quiet and never ever tell derek i like him so know one will judge me or should i just go for it
if i do go for it how???
-kimberly

Well like I always say, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, what matters is what you think. If your friends or other people judge you, just because you like someone, they are not true friends. If you like this guy, you should tell him, otherwise you will never know if he likes you or if it would work out. If you really want to tell him, find some time to be alone with him when no one else is there to hear you, and just tell him you need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel and ask if he feels the same. If he doesn't, do not stop being friends with him, and let him know that you do intend to stay friends if he doesn't have those feelings for you. But if he does, go for it. And always remember, no matter what happens, you can ALWAYS stay friends with him. It may seem weird if it doesn't work out with him, but eventually things will go back to normal. And don't forget, it doesn't matter what other people think about you, it only matters what you think about yourself.

Q: I used to hang out with this boy Chris over the summer. It was really fun and I started to like him. Then after summer, we kind of stopped talking. A few weeks ago, he IMed me and we started talking again and making plans to hang out. Our conversations are so good..theres never an awkward silence. He's really outgoing in real life, too. Like I always see him with girls..but when he sees me all he says is, "Hey!" and even though he says it really nice, he doesnt try to make conversation like we have online..what should ido?

Ever hear the saying "Men, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."? This is why they made the expression. Guys don't think the same way girls do. They like attention from girls when it is just them and the girl, but if there is other people around, they act like they don't even know you. It's just the way they are. The only thing you can do is talk to him. The next time he is online, IM him and ask him about it. Tell him how you feel and ask him if he feels the same. That way you will at least have something to go of off and if it works out then it works out...If not, there is always other men in the world. Good luck

Q: I have a feeling I could be pregnant to my ex boyfriend. He left me for his previous ex-girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. I don't know if I should tell him, and I don't know what to say if I did. I would want him to come back to me if I was pregnant and help me out with the baby and all since it would be his but I understand if he doesn't. I wouldn't want to put him in that situation.

I just don't know what to do and I don't know what his reaction would be.

Can someone help me out?

The first thing you should do is find out for sure if you really are. Once you know it will be a little easier on you. If your not, don't worry about it, go on with life like nothing ever happend. But if you are, you do need to tell him. And once you get together to talk to him, it will just come to you. Tell him how you feel about. Let him know you want him to be part of the babies' life and then make sure to listen to what he has to say about it. If he decides not to, there is nothing wrong with being a single mother. It will be a little more difficult if you don't have a guy around, but if you still have friends and family that are willing to help, you have nothing to worry about. ( I am still with my boyfriend that I have only been with for 9 months and I am going to be 7 months pregnant on January 5(my birthday) and it is difficult even with having him, but I have family to help support me... and it is going well, and I have much faith that everything will be great. Never forget that everything happens for a reason...) Good luck.

Q: Ok so me and my ex boyfriend broke up in august 2006 and we were in love. Well for the past 2 and a half months we have been flirting a bunch and such and it was all great, but recently he actually made a move. It was Monday (December 11) that he asked me to go hang out with him after school, just us 2 alone. So yeah we hung out and it was really fun! We had a great time walking around and talking. . .he couldnt keep his hands off me. He was always tickling me and hugging me from behind and it was sweet. Then at one point he wanted a hug so I gave him a one and then he just never let go of me so then we just sat there and cuddled. It was sweet and it brought back many feelings. By the end of the night we both had huge smiles on our faces. It really felt like we were gonna get back together. . .he even wanted me to go to the movies with him on wednsday. But I had to work on that day so yeah I told him I couldnt go with him because of work.

But on tuesday, he acted like a complete jerk all day long. . .it made me cry. Course I didnt cry in front of him. Then after school he apologized and he was sweet on me again and we flirted a bunch. Then on wednsday and thursday he just flirted a little bit....no big moves or anything.

My problem is...why would he go from major flirting and making huge moves on me one night and then the next few days just not be as sweet as he was and just flirt a little bit with me. Why would he do that?!?!? He doesnt play games with me, because I know him that well. . .hes not that type of guy. Im just confused. . .what is going on with him? :S My friend says that guys get really vulnerable after they show their feelings and they go through this stage where they dont show their feelings that much. . .but enough to keep you wondering what the hell is going on. But I donno. . .I need more opinions.

So...help???

Guys are weird...hehe, everyone knows that! I have met many guyz that act that way. I used to hate it! I have noticed that it has a lot to do with other people. If you are trying to show affection to him when his friends or other girls that might like him are around, he will act funny like that. I am not sure why but that is just the way they all are. I would suggest the next time you are alone with him, talk to him about it. Ask him if he really does want to be with you again or if he is just doing this for fun (because some guys do stuff and act like they like girls just because they don't have a girlfriend and they know a girl that will flirt with them.) It might be hard to talk to him about it and he might even ac like he is not paying attention, but if you ask him about it, and he is serious about you, he will talk to you about it. Hope it works.

bio

I have always wanted to have my own advice column because many of my friends and family have come to me for advice, (especially my younger sisters and thier friends), and I always have something to tell them. I thought it would be nice to give advice to other people that need it as well. One good quality about me when it comes to my advice is that I have expierience both in the teen world and the adult world. I am also a soon to be mother and have some good advice for mothers and soon to be mothers. I have been through a lot for my age and I am more than willing to help ANYONE who needs it, and I hope I can do so.