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hey loves, welcome to my column. i love shopping and my pet fish. cheering is my life and this season is the best yet! you might be jealous that im a f.l.y.e.r and that i get t.h.r.o.w.n in the air. i like hugs and my boyfriend. abercrombie, the beach, and big sunglasses are some of my favorites. i have my inperfections but who doesn't? answering questions is my thing, so ask away -- my door is always open.
advice
Hi there. This is the first time asking advice like this. First let me start by saying. I am a 31 years old man.
now for my problem.
I have been with the same woman for 12-13 years. we have had 2 children together, one of whom passed away last year and the other that was just born this year. Lately we've been going throughsome rough times. She has been playing with my emotions. A virtual rollercoaster ride. One day i try to cuddle get intimate, and she'll say "We shouldn't do this" the next she's kissing me pationately. The problem i have, is that i have feelings for her how ever dwindled that they are, while exhibiting feelings for another woman. One who has captivated me over the last few weeks.
My issue is i don't feel that the relationship i am in is going anywhere. but with my new born baby i am kind of in a bind. thus my title. I am torn between 2 loves. Or three if you add in my newborn.
please help me figure out what i should do.
Please think what's best for the baby. In the mean time, have a talk with your girlfriend (wife?). Her putting you through a 'virtual roller coaster ride' might just be a state that she'll get over in some time. The baby could be putting some stress on her. You have to think how she feels. She went through labor to have your child and now she and you are raising him/her. Maybe you could go to couples therapy?
I know how it feels to not love the one you are with. But nothing good comes out of cheating and it will create a whole new mess. When your baby gets older, what do you think he'll think of you? Would your baby want you to love another woman?
I don't understand why boys my age think I'm not that pretty but then guys 6 years older then me think I'm soo sexy. I can't find a boyfriend my own age but then I find a boyfriend whos 5 years older then me who thinks I'm gorgeous and loves me !! When my dad is driving me to somewhere and I feel like waiting in the car all of these 20 year olds park their car right next to my dads and they stare at me and start whistling and then honk at me when they drive away and start waving. But then I walk into school and the boys that are in my school could care less about me. I don't get it!!! Why are guys 10 years older then me think I'm attractive and random dudes come up to me saying I'm hot when they are like 22 and the ones my age think I'm just okay?!!?
my guess is that the older guys are more matured then the guys your age. or maybe the guys your age are more secretive or shy about those thoughts. i take it as a compliment when older guys send me signals. ahh, give it some time and im sure you'll be beating the young guys off with a stick.
Hey im a girl. Im 15 years old. I really like this guy who is a year older then me. We do not go to the same school. So we met on myspace but we live close to each other and next year im going to be going to the same school he is. We met and talked and we also talked alot on aim he was giving me all hints he likes me: calling me his favorite and telling me how amazing i am. Then couple days after we hang out on the weekend it was me him two of my girlfriends and his friend. He was flirting with me and i was flirting with him and i was pretty much positive he liked me. Then we went over to his friends house and everyone else saw we liked each other. They asked me if i liked him and i said yea then they asked him if he liked me and he said he didnt know but i never knew that so i thought he did so i kept on acting like nothing was wrong. Me and him ended up making out for hours. Next morning he was a little akward around me but i knew for a fact he enjoyed making out with me he even told me that. That day i texted him asking him if he liked me as a friend or more because i needed to know. He texted back saying he likes me as a friend. I was really bumbed. Btw my other girlfrined(kelsey) hooked up with the guy i like best friend after an hour of knoning him and did more then make out with him. But going back i was really mad at austin for making out with me and telling me he likes me as a friend. Next couple days i didnt talk to him so he talked to me like nothing was wrong and he stil thinks im the shit and he likes me(he never told but hinted). The very next day i find out he likes my friend(kelsey) who hooked up with his best friend. I was in SHOCK! shes not his type at all! She not very bright or pretty not sound mean or anything but guys never really go for her specially from me to her and so i was really confused. I was soo pissed off also he was doing and tellin the same things he was doing to me. I got over it but then after a week the guy i liked started texting me at night saying he misses me and we need to start over i went and asked my friend why is he liking me all of the sudden didnt he like kelsey a week ago and she just said he was drunk when he texted me. So i kind of just forgot about it but that weekend i saw him and he told me that he doesnt like kelsey anymore so i was like alright. but he was flirting with my other girlfriend and not me. Then he got drunk and everything changed he totally liked me we went to his car and he told me all this stuff that he was afraid he would never get me and thats why he went for kelsey and that he really really likes me and even loves me but i was drunk too(tipsy)So we made out and stuff. Next day he told me he didnt rember anything when i know for a fact he was not that bad to not remmeber anything. So please someone help me? is he PLAYING me? whats going on. Some people say hes way to innocent and shy and had no confidence so he doesnt try to get wiht me because hes afraid to get hurt and turned down.But i really like and i wouldnt do that to him and i think? he knows that. PLease tell me what to do!!!???!?!
OK first of all, if he is shy and scared of you turning him down, I doubt he would make out with you when you guys first hung out over the weekend.
In my opinion, I think he might be playing a game with your head and he just used 'way to innocent and shy and had no confidence so he doesnt try to get wiht me because hes afraid to get hurt and turned down' THAT as an excuse for flirting w/ your friends. He sounds like a guy who's afraid of commitment and he wants to have his options.
Make sure your friends have your back on this. Inform them what you feel about him and if he pulls another move on them, let you know.
Also, the drunk thing might not be the way to go. If he loves you when he's drunk, that's not exactly a compliment. He might have mixed feelings when he's drunk, and you don't sound like the kind of girl who would use him for making out only. Try to stay one step ahead of him though, and make sure you and him know what's going on the next time you have some alcohol.
I think the best way to go is to be friends. If he ever gets out of this 'playing stage' go for it. It's okay to like him a little; but if I were you, I wouldn't be too sure to fall head-over-heels in love with a guy like that.
k 14/f hereee
okayyy.. so theres this guy, justin i met at the beginning over the school year, and he had a thing for eachother ever since.. like basically we're in love.. we've been talking for like 9 months.. and i pretty convinced i love him, and i can tell he loves me also.
and well we wanna date and stuff but our school=drama.. i mean when me and justin started talking, so much crap went around. it was crazy.. and if youre wondering why, im 14 and hes 17. but in my case i dont care bout age. but everyone bascially knows we're in love. so everything is cool with people at school.
but my mom, doesnt like him.. although shes never met him, she just thinks he wants sex, but hey i havent slept with him and hes still here, after 9 months. and i told him that i wasnt gonna have sex with him, cuz basically i think im too young, and he totally understands.
But anyway, i had to beg my mom for me to even talk to him.. and she just doesnt understand.
and well me andhim really want to date.
any advice?
thanks, i rate all 5's
but if you say im too young to be in love;
no rating.
My mom can be the same way sometimes. You need to earn her trust if you ever want to see this guy again. Maybe you can set up a time where she can meet him (don't make it a date) and don't make it last for just 5 minutes. If he's a respectable person, he'll make time for your mom and understand her situation. To make it less awkward, brag for him like tell her about any awards, sports, or honorable things he's accomplished.
Personally, I think you can fall in love anytime. Tell her that you're not going to MARRY the guy, but you really want to see how things work out for now. If she thinks all he wants is sex, tell her that you will address her if you ever get the offer and give her your whole side on how you yourself think you're too young. Do it in a calm fashion; arguing will get you no where.
Have fun =)
i want to go with my friend (hes a guy, im a girl) to our dance at the end of they year. alot of poeple have dates already. but he's already going with my sort-of friend. i really want to go with him though!!! anyone have any ideas on how to get him to go with me?
Hey, it might suck to hear this but if he's got a date, he's got a date. He's not going to blow off this other girl to go with you (even if you are pretty or nice). Don't be too greedy now =)
Anyway, if you want to see him during the dance, you can meet him and his date there. You can talk for a while but don't get clingy.
In the meantime, look for another guy you like.
Sorry this isn't the answer you're looking for and you can rate low if you want, but it's reality hun.
Hi everyone, I'd like to hear your perspective(this question is especially for girls but guys are welcome to answer too). My problem is that I feel disgustingly and frighteningly ugly. My own reflection upsets me when I look in the mirror, and I find the idea of sex really scary. I've tried it a couple of times, but the guys I've been with have been really greedy and impatient and made me feel even uglier. They kept on going on about how pretty other girls were, and I think they just wanted me because I'm so insecure. Has anyone else been through this , and come out all right the other end(e.g. in a happy relationship, or just happier with themselves). Some days I don't even want to leave the house, I feel I look so bad.
Thanks in advance(22/f BTW).
Hey!
Everybody developes these feelings at a point in their lives. I know I have!
If you want to feel better about yourself, try to make some changes in your appearence. Ask your hair dresser what they think a good look for you would be. Consider layers or getting bangs. You can style your hair more by purchasing a ceremic straightener. Straightened hair looks great with layers by the way! Then you could try a little make up. There are usually make up artists in the mall in the beauty sections. They are better than you think! If the make over turns out good, buy the products she used and try putting it on yourself.
After that, find a nice outfit or wardrobe that makes you feel comfortable with your body. This all might be a little pricey but hey, if it will make you feel better about yourself, that's all that counts. And plus, you only live once :]
Not to offend you if you don't need them, but if you need exercise tips, come straight to me!
I hope you feel better asap. Buzz my column if you want more advice!
My boyfriend is going to another country to be with his family. We've been together for just 4 months and i don't know if our relationship's worth keeping or not.
Please help me!
P.S.
I'm fifteen years old, by the way.
hey
this can be a hard situation. its like when school ends and you wont see your friends and boyfriend everyday. usually, if you care about him a lot, you will know if you want to keep the relationship going. i will probably break up with my boyfriend over the summer (and we've been going out for 7 months! so its kind of a big deal). personally, i dont want to take risks like if he meets a new person or if i meet a new person. it will be difficult to keep in touch if you dont break up but i think you should talk it out with him and see how he feels about it. if he agrees, just be friends for a while and then see whats going on after the four months.
i hope everything works out alright!
ok. i know this is a weird question. but everyone at my school just assumes im like a great dancer. but i have no clue how to dance. and a dance is coming up. and idn what to do. ppl are like...it just comes natural but idn. i would like to know how to you know?
i have no idea where they actually got that idea unless they mistook someone else for you. or maybe it was a rumor?
anyway, if you want to learn how to dance for your coming dance, you should buy a video. videos work very well because they show you step by step on the screen. i dont reccommend reading steps in a book or on the internet. the internet might have short clips of cool moves so you could look that up too.
have fun now =)
So I have this good-looking next door neighbor, and yesterday my mum and I went to give him back a DVD we borrowed of his because he is going away. Well, I stood there with her and she was speaking to him, but he did not even look me in the eye once! It was almost as if he was avoiding my gaze. I felt very stupid about this. Even if my mum was speaking about me he would not look in my direction. I'm not really sure what I could've done to offend him. I've liked him for quite a while but only seen him a few times.
In case it matters I'm 17 and he's 25.
Am I looking into things too much, or is there a reason he was doing this to me? I felt really embarassed and unwanted being there.
Thanks.
ok, the age difference might be a factor. also, if you don't know that much about him, he could possibly have a girlfriend around his age.
if you want to get him to talk, next time you go over with your mom, or if you're taking a walk around the block and he is outside, try to catch his eye. if he sees a person walking outside, he is likely to look up real quick. wave, and if he waves back ask him how he's doing. if you get a conversation going, dont try to make it hours long because he might think you're desperate. act cool and you should be the one to end the conversation, not him.
you only live once :D live it to its fullest!
good luck
So like i guess im okay looking and theres this one guy i really like..it seems like he wants to talk to me and i want to talk to him ad flirt and you no hes my crush but nothing i do works..i run out of things to say and he is just as quiet as i am and i cant make him talk.. i heard he had liked me and he asked me to prom..but it seems like its not true i dont no what im doing wrong! please help me
oh yea im 14/f
ok first of all theres nothing wrong with you :) its deffinitely normal to run out of things to say.
most guys will not come up to you and start an engaging conversation. that's usually up to the ladies. it may seem hard to get them going but try and find something really interesting that he will focus on. ask him a question about himself, something he is good at, or something you have in common. maybe if you guys have a class together, ask him and another friend to work with you. that way he'll feel less tense around just you. a friend is good because they usually sense that you guys like each other and will have no problem stirring up some fresh conversation.
believe it or not, when you start talking to someone, each time you'll talk a little more. but when he's near, look comfortable being around him because if he know's you're nervous, that will make him nervous too.
if you want to find out if he likes you and wants to ask you to the prom, i think you should ask him. catch him when he's alone and gradually start talking about prom. it might take a lot of courage, but i also think YOU should ask him to go. or maybe have a friend quietly spread a rumor that you want him to ask you or something. it might be awkward when you talk face to face about who likes who but come on, you have one life to live :D take chances and if it doesn't work out, dont stress it. im sure you'll have guys chasing you for prom date.