22 year old college woman/reporter who loves to give advice and always speaks her mind.
Member Since: March 6, 2004
Answers: 18
Last Update: March 10, 2004
Visitors: 1770
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i'm still not sure what i should do. There's more to this guy. We did develope a friendship before we had a relationship and he the greatest friend i could ask for. He's been there for me since i left my ex. He helped me out in every way (finacialy/mentally/etc...). He helps me with my children. he treats me so good. I'm not trying to make him love me I'm not even sure if I love him, I just feel insecure sometimes and I think he's not happy with. It's all easier to talk in person but I have no "girlfriends" or family out here. I'm all on my own. thanks (link)
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I am here when you need me. Do not repeat DO NOT allow a man in your world just because there is nobody else because thats not true. Get involved in your kids school, their PTA and organizations. The only way to make friends is to get out there. Trust me, it helps. Good luck!
Take care and remember you are worth the time of a man who wants you for you.
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i'm still not sure what i should do. There's more to this guy. We did develope a friendship before we had a relationship and he the greatest friend i could ask for. He's been there for me since i left my ex. He helped me out in every way (finacialy/mentally/etc...). He helps me with my children. he treats me so good. I'm not trying to make him love me I'm not even sure if I love him, I just feel insecure sometimes and I think he's not happy with. It's all easier to talk in person but I have no "girlfriends" or family out here. I'm all on my own. thanks (link)
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Maybe thats what he is, a friend. I mean, just because he's a man does not mean he cannot be a friend. If you want to talk to me, keep writing to me.
oneindependentwoman
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hey my best friend really likes this guy, and he likes her too. Me and my friend made a deal, if I dont have a boyfriend she cant have a boyfriend, if i dont have a boyfriend she cant have a boyfrind. (i know kinda dumb) we told each other we wouldent break the deal. I cant find a boyfriend all the guys are taken. Im popular and pretty, but there is a problem the guy that my friend likes is who I like too. She dosent know. I think he likes me too, but he likes her more. He flirts with me all the time he touches me and you know the drill. What should I do? Does he like me? Should I tell my friend? PLEAZE, PLEAZE HELP. SIGNED
confused (link)
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Dear Confused,
First, I commend you for being such a good one by keeping with the deal, however it seems to me that she may not want a boyfriend yet. Women are like snowflakes, everyone is different as are what they want in life at certain points.
If she is (and I know how it is to have friends who seem to be blind to whats in front of them) I think that you should try to get them together or discuss the deal and bring the guy up. Dont get involved if it seems they dont want you too because men come and go, but friends (especially girlfriends) the best ones are forever.
Oneindependentwoman
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haha.....is humping wrong if your in a REALLY Godly relationship and your limit should be "kissing" ? (link)
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Nah just as long as no penatration happens.
lol have a good time and god bless.
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I'm 22 with 2 kids, my boyfriend of almost a year is 24. He's never been in love and has not developed any strong feelings for me. I don't know what to do, I really care for this guy. Can you give some advice? (link)
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First off you cannot make someone love you. That is the only human (if you can call it human) factor that only the person has power over. As I saw from what you said, that you "care for" him it shows me you may not love him either. My advice is to seperate for a while and let a friedship begin while you explore the outside sepratly. If its loveless you have for you and your kids, a bad outcome is at stake.
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I was with my partner for 11 years. We then married and 5 months later he met someone else and left two months later, without discussion. We had a very good relationship, and I believed we were together for life. Our respective faults did not adversersly affect the relationship and we got on very well together. He is a very independant/selfish person, but I belive he was not unfaithful to me before this occasion. He tells me he has not left because he met someone else, but becaused I nagged, and that he no longer loved me. Being a woman, yes I did nag, but far from excessivly.
We have been apart for 5 months, and I would still have him back, as I feel our relationship is worth fighting for. I was unaware that he was unhappy, and he made no indication of this. I have written a couple of letters and tried to talk to him, but he is,and always has been,reluctant, or incapable of talking about his feelings in any detail. The most I have got out of him is that he 'loves me, but not as he should'. He has remained in touch, and when I see him, he treats me like an old friend, and acts as though nothing has happened/that we did not have the past that we had.I do belive we could be happy together, despite this, and am prepared to try and put what has happened behind us. Some advice on how to 'play' all this would be gratefully received - what steps do I take to try and rebuild our relationship?. I am 42, and he is 41.
Regards
Anne Wilson. (link)
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He doesnt sound like he really wants to return but if you believe in the fight for him in your heart here is my advice.
Before anything you have to be alone with your thoughts to decide exactly what you want, not just from him but also from life. Then you can continue or say goodbye, the choice is your heart's and your head's.
If the decision is to fight:
First, you cannot ignore the past, especially something so big as cheating, no matter what your heart never will forget knowing the man you love was with someone else. Secondly, do not allow him to completely enter without discussion: i.e. you talking and telling him whats what to you.
Before either of this can happen however, you first have to decide if its worth another chance, can you forgive and forget (after the two previous steps).
Personally I married at a very young age and couldnt handle the fact that the day after I left to think my life over he was in bed with a co-worker. But that was me.
Now if saying goodbye seems to be it:
1. Write a long letter to him telling him how you feel about the relationship's past (of course including the identity) and either send it or burn it. Either way, see this as letting go.
2. Go somwhere for a day or two alone and recollect yourself and who you are. From all my relationships I have learned its easy to lose yourself.
3. Believe who you are is worthwhile and any man would be proud to be beside you.
Hope this helps,
Oneindependentwoman
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