Well, it's a long story but I don't really know how to deal with it. A couple of years ago I was dating a young man for a long time. We were engaged and were planning to get married within a year or so. I loved him like I never loved anyone in my life and he loved me, but one day it all had changed. He grew distant and cold and kept me and all of his best friends in a distance. In addition to the distance, he started treating me really badly and after a long long time of tollarating it and trying to understand what's on his mind and help him as much as I can, I couldn't take it anymore, all my attempts to rescue that relationship crushed and died and I gave up. We broke up. About 3 month later, I've heard that he'd started dating another woman and after another 2 month, I've heard that they've got engaged. As a result from that, My EX had lost ALL of his friends because, as they say, he became completely intollerable. It took me almost two years to get over him (I was overseas for a year which helped a little), But now I came back home and every little thing reminds me of him and that I really miss him and I do still love him, but the thing is that I love the man he used to be, not what he'd become. I don't have any news about him because he'd totally lost touch with "the outside world" and we don't have common friends anymore. I know that I should get over it and go on with my life but I just don't know how, I had tried and it worked for a while but now that I'm back home, I'm surrounded by things and places that remind me of what we used to have and these are things that I can't avoid seing. What should I do?
(I'm a 23 y.o. woman)
I wish I could just say..get over him. But I know how it feels to miss an ex. I'm dealing with that right now. But you said that he treated you badly---that's all you need to know! There is someone out there who will treat you like a princess. By giving your ex all of this energy in remembering him, you're wasting time that could be spent meeting someone amazing. It's normal to be reminded of him, but make sure that with those memories, you don't forget how much he hurt you. Use that pain to give you the strength to do better for yourself, and not settle. Maybe we never stop loving people, but it's more important to love yourself.
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I just turned 25, i am single and have a 2 year old daughter. Alot of people find me attractive, but I am completly insecure of myself. I am addicted to attention from males. I fall for a guy very fast and are always too nice. I just cant ever tell if the guy really likes me or is just playng around so I dont stop looking for the right man. I am seeing someone right now and like hom very much but he can be so distant and hard to read. He's very nice and we see eachother often, but why doesnt he show more interst in being with me. He tells me iam hot and we have been intamate but I cant tell how he feels about me, does he want to be exclusive or doesnt he can i ask without freaking him out? either way i would still see him I just dont know what to do.
Intimacy should have given you the go ahead to ask about exclusivity. You have a responsibility to your daughter and to yourself. Worry less about receiving compliments or affirmations of your physical attractiveness from guys, and find a guy that is less focused on what you look like, and more concerned with your financial security and emotional well being. If this guy that you are seeing is only telling you that you are hot, and not how much he cares about you and wants to take care of you and be a part of your life and your daughter's, than you are wasting your time. All of us girls are guilty of falling too fast and being too trusting of guys, but you need to figure out how to make it on your own independently first. Then when a guy comes along that is truly deserving of your time, let HIM be the one to wonder what he needs to do to keep your interest.
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