guhzmin's advice column | guhzmin's Advice About Love Life

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Q: hey there. Firstly, thank you for the suggestion. I knew it, and tried also. But failed everytime. Every single time. I find it hard to overcome the temptation to text him. It's embarrassing, I have never had a crush like this before. He is never gonna cheat on his gf, I know him. But I find it hard to not text/ call him. also, he is coming to my state in jan, I have started looking forward to meet him. I don't want to like him, and I don't want to crew up our friendship. I feel messed up. Sigh. what can I do about that?

PS- I have deleted his number many times, and now subconsciously memorized it. :/

I know you still want to be friends with him, and it's going to be hard but if you want to make any progress you're going to have to put your friendship with him on hold until you can get over this crush you have for him.

I would first suggest talking to him about it (if you haven't already) and explain to him in the best way you can that even though you want to stay friends with him, you just can't shake these feelings off. Honestly the best way to get rid of it is to not talk to him. and if he's a real friend he'll understand and give you some space, which will in turn make it a lot easier for you to forget about him for a while.

I hope this helped a little bit~

Q: hey so i have a boyfriend who calls me hotie. i used to call him hotie back but he decided he wanted me to come up with a nickname for him. i don't know what to do. i was thinking about cutie but he said his old girlfriend called him that but he didn't care if i did. i don't want to because i think he doesn't want me to. his name is Greg. i need some ideas and i want something that's one word and ends in "ie". we are both 13.

Baby, sweetie, honey, etc. You can google this as well.

Q: My boyfriend and I have been going out for five months, and we're extremely comfortable with each other. We have such a strong chemistry and I know for sure I love him and he loves me. He is the first guy to never pressure me or rush me into sex. I can be myself around him. We've known each other for a long time. We have had sex about seven times...which may seem like a lot but I never feel bad about it since we have such a great, trusting relationship. He likes when I tease him and give him oral as a surprise, and he loves it. I've never been good at it before because I wasn't comfortable with my past relationships but he says I'm amazing. Anyways, I wanna be more...naughty and dominant. We're barely alone at my house but at his, we can be in his bedroom and be very sneaky about it. Any advice?

Whenever you two are having sex, take charge! Don't be afraid to hop on top and ride him cowgirl (lots of guys LOVE that). It could even be as simple as initiating sex first. Pin him against a wall and kiss him, begin taking his clothes off, and take charge from the beginning. Have fun ;)

Q: Hey. I like this guy but he has a girlfriend. We communicate mostly through text. I met him last year. And since I started liking him, I started texting even more, in order to get his attention. To be really honest, I was hopeful. And we chatted through texts. He is open, easy going and honest. I told him that I like him through text. He said he can take me on a date. Now we kept texting. But he has a life of his own, and a busy one. I kept texting and it happened so that when he got drunk, we talked dirty. We have done so many times. Then after some time I felt disgusted because it seemed like I am a concubine of some sort. So I started insisting on walking away and that also I told him and went mad on him, seriously overreacting. My mistake. Sigh. The hope still has’t gone away. I text and wait for his reply, sometimes. I really like him, and there are many reasons. But the truth is he doesn’t know me much, and we never got to spend too much time together since we live in different cities. And so he doesn’t like me that way. I am not able to gte over this crush, I have tried hard. I need some help. I don’t want to appear needy before him, which I never do when it’s somebody other than him. I want to attract him but not force him into it. He is in a long distance relationship and it seems to me that he loves her, genuinely. I want to get rid of my texting him and waiting for replies. What should I do?

I've been in your exact situation before, and let me tell you right now that it's going to bring you nothing but trouble. and I know how it feels! It feels right during the moment. He may seem really nice and perfect to you. But the truth of the matter is that any guy who 1. is cheating on his girlfriend, 2. is keeping you on the side and 3. is not willing to commit to either side, is just plain bad news. Forget about him.

Just remember that crushes and flings are all mental. The more you indulge in this crush, the harder it'll be to get over it. So the first thing you need to do is to isolate yourself from him completely. Delete his number, delete him from Facebook, put away any pictures you may have of him or gifts he may have given you. Remember: out of sight, out of mind.

It also might be a good idea to keep his number familiar to your eyes. If he texts you, DON'T ANSWER IT. Don't even view the message. Delete it immediately and make it an instinctive habit. The worst thing you can do is expose yourself to temptation.

From there, it'll get easier. Find ways to distract yourself and forget about him. Hang out with your friends, pick up a hobby, maybe even find a new guy (a better guy) who is single and willing to get to know you completely. You deserve somebody available who's a good person and won't string you along. You at least owe yourself that. :)

If you need any more help, let me know! Good luck girl

Q: Hi, I'm 14 and recently started dating one of my really good male friends. I really like him, and want to stay with him for a while. But I have had a crush on another guy who I've talked to like four times the whole year, and it didn't subside when this guy asked me out...but I had a crush on him too. What I'm saying is, is it ok for me to have a crush on someone else while I'm dating someone I like as well, as long as I don't make a move on this crush? I barely talk to this crush and there is no action between us, but I can't help liking him as well as my boyfriend. Is this okay?

Well, think about it this way.... would you want your boyfriend having a crush on someone else while being in a relationship with you? Definitely not, but I understand completely what you're going through. The best thing to do in this situation is to just isolate yourself from the other guy and appreciate the good relationship you already have with your boyfriend! Trust me, those feelings will soon go away, and if they don't, then you might want to reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend. Good luck girl!