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I've been going through a recent complicated break-up. The thing is I kinda rejected him because I want to get my life back together first before being in a committed relationship. I wasn't able to offer my heart back in return to this guy who loved me so purely because I got scared that the moment I say 'yes' we'd be in a really serious relationship. And the thought of being in a serious relationship scared me. I got scared and I made a stupid mistake by talking to it with another guy friend. And it almost felt like I cheated on him, he felt like I cheated. And now he's not in love with me anymore and that it's impossible for us to be together again. Which hurt so bad.
I know all of that's kinda convoluted, but long story short, I'm hurt because I hurt the one guy who's never done anything but love me so purely and see the best in me by being a stupid and weak girl. What if he's the one for me, what if I blew the chance to be with my soulmate? What if I never meet anyone who will love me as much as he did? I can't get over the pain and the loneliness no matter what I do.
I know I've made a mistake too. But I'm not aiming to get back together with him, because he's already said it's impossible. Now he just wants to be friends with me because he knows we're really close and he doesn't want to lose that and he said that I don't deserve to be abandoned completely. What should I do to get over him and forgive myself? I'm really sorry it was really long. Thank you to anyone who will help. (link)
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I really think everything you just told me you should sit down and say to this guy. If he knew you felt like this then you might find out that he still feels the same about you (even though he won't admit it because he's scared to get hurt/rejected again). On the other hand he might not still feel that way....and if so that doesn't make him seem too serious about being with you in the first place if he can so easily shrug it off. And you shouldn't feel guilty for reaching out to a friend about it either, it's natural for us to reach out to someone for help (that's how you got here after all!)Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and just say everything you've been holding back. At least you know you will still be able to remain friends if there truly is no longer a romantic possibility... Best of Luck to you!
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Now all things are absolutely very clear and m gonna really follow whatevr things you said...please just one more question that should I continue to be physical with him as in I mentioned earlier liplock etc etc?? Or not? M sorry to distrub u again and again dear cat eyes and thanks alot and dont worry it was a last question to u for sure...thanks alot (link)
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The only thing about continuing to be physical with him, is that one day he will expect sex from you again. He'll assume if you're intimate that you'll want sex too, even if that's not the case... Really, though, the decision is up to you, you have to decide what you want from this relationship... (Friendship or something more intimate). You can still be physical if that's what you want, but sex does NOT have to be a part of that!! The choice is completely up to you, only you should control what happens to your body and don't ever let him pressure you to think otherwise. I really hope this helps, and don't worry about disturbing me, that's what I'm here for! :)
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Your last advice did helped me ...but as you said that parents trust is the question...can you please say me that uptil now I had did almost evrything with him except sex so should I be now guilty of it that I allowed him to do all the things like liplock and boob suck etc?? Should I now stop talking to him?? (link)
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No, I really don't think you should feel guilty about any of that... It's already been done and it's in the past (plus if you think like that, you're just going to be torturing yourself). As for continuing to talk to him, I think it would be perfectly fine to keep doing so (especially since you had mentioned before that you were so close to each other), BUT you need to make it known to him that you don't want sex out of your relationship. If he continues to pressure you about sex, you can walk away. He is NOT entitled to receive anything that YOU don't want to give! Hope this helps, if you need anything else please let me know! :)
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I am 17 year old girl and is having a bestie from almost 4 years and I share each and evrything to him and last year on my bday he asked me for liplock and as I feel whatever he does is right so I did it and moving onwards we started being physical but not exactly sex and now he wants to fuck me and he says I promise their would be no harm and I wont do it that hard that your vagina would bleed...I want to know should I go for it or is their any harm?? And he knows my family as well ..he is even one of my faraway relative.but he never ever did anything wrong with me and I trust hi more than my parents. (link)
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Before you do anything you need to realize that sex is a big step. It has to be something that you are ready for and you have to be sure you can handle the worst case scenario after the fact. Also, you almost need to look at it from a legal standpoint as well... I'm not saying it should stop you, but since you're under 18 and he isn't, you have to understand that by law he would be in the wrong. (Of course you could always just wait until you turn 18). And as for him saying you wont bleed... if you're a virgin chances are you will bleed (not necessarily a lot), but it is natural to the first time no matter how "hard" he does it. Also, since he knows your family well, you should consider how they would feel or what they would do if they found out (another good reason you might want to wait until you're 18). And finally, a bit of personal advice, you said he was a faraway relative... I personally wouldn't have sex with any one related to me, no matter how faraway. And please trust your parents, they may not seem to always know what they are talking about to you, but they really mean well and they want what is best for you! Hope this helped! :)
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