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I really tried to make this short. I clearly failed at that. Sorry.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. We’re both 17 nearly 18. Things were amazing for a while. I’d never been happier. But he warned me from the very beginning that he’s been diagnosed as bi-polar and depressed. I told him I would never let it get to me and I’d always be there for him and that I wouldn’t let it push me away. We’ve been having a lot of problems lately though. Just a bunch of arguing. Basically every day. I honestly don’t blame all of it on him. Nor do I blame it on his bi-polar disorder and depression. It’s really just both of us. I feel like he either wants to be arguing or intimate and that’s it, no in between. It really bothers me that we can’t have a friendship in our relationship anymore. I’m not very open with anyone but him. But I told my best friend about our problems and arguments and actually saying them out loud to her made me realize how terrible some of the things he’s said are and how mean he can be sometimes. So that night I broke up with him. (I thought I did, but when referring to it presently he always says “When you almost broke up with me.”) The next day I went to his house to bring him his stuff and we decided we didn’t want to be without each other. (That was about like 3 weeks ago.) The night that I “broke up with him” I felt so terrible. Like I had made a huge mistake and ruined all the plans we had, more then anything I was worried about him. He put all the blame on himself and I kept telling him not to. I was concerned for what he might do to himself. Most of his friends have abandoned him so he’s become friends with a lot of mine. I told him that I didn’t hate him, didn’t want him to hate me, and I wanted him to still be apart of my life. He just kept saying that I was contradicting things I’d said in the past. (Which is true, I’ve said that I don’t believe people can stay friends after a relationship ends. But I’d never experienced actually wanting to till then. And I told him that.) But if it couldn’t get any worse, I’ve begun to gain some feelings for a close friend. And I’m sure he (my friend) feels the same way about me, you can just tell sometimes. I’d never cheat on my boyfriend, I just feel so terrible about it though. I know crushes are normal, but I feel bad. I know I’d be upset if the situation were reversed and he had a crush on someone else. Part of me feels like we wouldn’t be together now if I hadn’t gone over there the very next day. If I had left some space he probably would have gotten very bitter and angry towards me. I also feel things would have ended up differently (This definitely makes me feel like scum.) if I had talked to my friend that I like in between our breaking up and getting back together. I think if I had talked to him he would have been really nice and supportive and probably would have made me not want to return to my boyfriend. And the fact that I even have those insecurities in my head make me unsure about our relationship. My boyfriend is definitely not the perfect guy, he’s very difficult. But I know I’m not perfect either and I sincerely love him. I just feel that I try more then he does. It’s just much easier to say “Talk to him about it” or “I think you need to end the relationship” then it is to actually do it. I tried. Anything I say he’ll always take and blame on himself. He’s already pretty heavily into drugs so I know he has the connections and that’s another worry of mine. I don’t have a problem with drugs or people doing drugs. I just don’t want him to hurt himself with them if he gets depressed or angry. I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do or what to say to him. My friends and family are biased. My best friend will tell me to leave him. I can’t tell my mom all the details and she loves him, she’d just tell me to try a break. (Breaks never work.) And all my other friends know him pretty well and neither of us would want them knowing these details. They think we’re the perfect couple that never argues. We’ve been trying really hard to not argue, but we shouldn’t have to right? You shouldn’t have to try to not argue. That just doesn’t seem right. I’ve been sitting here venting to anyone who reads this I guess and I keep thinking THESE are the things I should tell him, my answers are right here. I guess my final question is, how can I tell him these things in a way where he won’t flip everything around and blame himself instead of realizing it’s both of us and we just aren’t working? Any thoughts on all the stuff above would be appreciated too. Thanks.
(link)
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get out your way to young to burden yourself with this problem. i am a fraid if you stay it wont end good. why ruin your life so early there are lot more heart aches ahead little one. the very best to you an my the great spirit guide you. brokenwing
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14/f/high skool freshman in sept
i was txtin my boyfriend normally, you know just flirtling and stuff, when he started to ask me questions the first one said: "what would you say if i was cheatin on u? (im not)"..ok easy so i answered truthfully and then he hit me with another: "What would you say if i wanted to break up? (im not lol)" i answered this truthfully again then he replied back and said "i guess cuz see me and matt want to join the marines after high school." Thats where the problem rolls in...
i asked him how come and he just told me that he wanted to and i cant change his mind. i wasnt plannin to, i knew he was thinkin about joining but so early?? i support him eagrly, but i dont want to let him go. i truly love him with my whole heart, and i want a strong future with him, question is: how can i support him if i dont want the same as him? (link)
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tell him semperfi an wish him the best!if you love him let him go! if he loves you he will come back, just dont make a lot of early promises. all get is heart aches by expecting him to be faithfull. so dont do that to him or yourself. good luck brokenwing
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(fifteen; female)
this is a really long story but please take the time to read it because i've never been more desperate for help in my entire life..
i had a boyfriend who i am totally and completely not only in love with, addicted to. let's call him A. i also had a really close friend who i've known since around fourth grade, let's call her B. a few months ago, i found out from a newly made friend (who i had known probably about a week) who was friends with my exboyfriend. one day, he told me that he couldn't lie to me, and he told me that A and B had been sleeping together. when i confronted them, they both denied it. A's only defence was "if i slept with B, don't you think i'd brag a little more, she's hot as shit. i wish i did, but i didn't. if i did, everyone would know about it."
a little about me and A: i've been in love with him for about a year. at one point last summer, things really heated up and we fell in love (or so he says he loves me.. but he probably really doesn't). he's put me through hell and back, but i've never loved anyone like i love him and i never will.if you were to ask him how many times he's cheated on me, he'd reply with "too many times to count," and yes that is the exact answer he gave me. i know i sound like such an idiot actually having feelings for someone that treats me like he does, but my love for him can't even be put into words.
when i found this out, i was a trainwreck. and i still to this day can't breathe. A and B are dating now. in fact, after all of this happened, he came to my house and appolagized to me (tears and everything), but he was dating her when he gave me the whole "still in love with you" act.
A and B's relationship consists of sex, with a few drunken breakups thrown in, but they of course throw it in my face whenever possible of how happy and in love they are.
i recently got in a fight with my best and closest friend, let's call her C. today, i was at a mall in my town where i saw a bunch of my friends.. and who do i see but C and A hanging out together. for C to even aknowledge A makes me want to throw up, especially since C knows what i've been through and she knows that i would NEVER do that to her.
not only did i lose the love of my life and a really good friend, but i lost my best friend too.
the A and B thing happened months ago, and i'm still hanging by a thread. what the hell can i do to make this hurt less bad? i want to breathe again..
and how do i just get over all the shit these people are putting me through? i really don't see how i could deserve this. how am i going to get over it all? PLEASE HELP ME. i'm honestly dying inside because i have literally nothing to live for. i need help i don't know what to do, i don't want to be miserable anymore (link)
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hi 15, dont let this little bump in lifes road drag you down. there is going to be a lot more some bumps are good like on a roller coaster. anin the long run the good will out number the bad. write them all off in your lifes book as here is always something better around the corner.better now than years later an married an have him do it! it will happen if you let it. luv brokenwing
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13/m
ok so whenever i go out with a girl its all good for a few weeks then i just start not being able to think of things to say cause normally when i'm around her and before we were going out i always said random things to make her smile and laugh and other stuff that just made good conversations but now all i can think of saying is about this guy who i am absolutely sure he likes her its quite funny but it sucks cause i get jealous when he talks to her but he's an annoying rich kid who just be's a dick head(sorry 4 the language) to me and other people like this asian guy in our class and just stuff that has made me start to hold a grudge against him, thats kinda getting off track but what are some things, just anything that i can say so its not as akward and i dont feel so stupid
thanks (link)
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hey, i am an old old man got a girl friend could always think of things when we emailed. we live 2hrs apart an when we get together its akward even at my age. so just sorta go with the flow it will all come together or you will break it off. lots of luck, brokenwing
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Im a fifteen year old girl who just got caught from being on the run with my best freind. While I was on the run I met this guy. He's amazing, and so sweet, I feel like I need him! But He lives by where I used to live (with my dad) and now Im with my mom like an hour away. I have no way to talk to him! The day I got caught by the cops I was supposed to go back to his house later that night but I couldnt and I havent talked to him since I got caught! I want to see/talk to him so bad! I miss him and cant get him out of my mind. I think I found my first love! It hurts so bad, please dont give me advice to forget about him cause I CANT do it! What should I do. Im seriously thinking about going on the run again just so I can see him. (link)
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hey isnt it great to be so much smarter than mom or dad? god how i remember those days an trips i took to city jail. and them stupid cops telling me i should either straighten up or change my name. why? cuz my dad was police sargent! god like now i am suppose to be better than other 15 yr olds! just cuz he was fuzz?? no way was that going to happen! i no better! so just kept swiming against the current. so girl you just go do your thing! the world will be a better place after you are done! love brokenwing
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How do you know when it's meant to be or fanticy. When your married I wouldn't say extriemly happy but content. Hadn't been the best some verbal abuse little physical he's an acholic but I know he truely loves me. 3 children and never had I even dreamed of straying.
I thought I could change him, but regardless till death do we part. Then a stranger not even my type of which I'd never take 2 glances at the moment our eye's meet I felt feelings I never felt in my life. I was numb no sexual desire and at once I was alive again. I had urges never before I went places I would never dare. First just innocent conversation but it was like my best friend he made me see the beauty in me again. He should me the good in me I couldn't see.
He from adifferent world I was taught was no good the evil side of the world just because of how he looked. But I saw the beauty of his soul the hurt that hid beneath. How much love he had inside. He made me walk away when he seen how torn I was wanting to do the godly thing, but wanting him uncontrollable so he made me leave and made hisself out to be what he could never be.l walk away to give my home the chance it needs. It's been 1 year now and he's all I see. He sends feelings through me you wouldn't believe. He pushed me away when he seen I was unsure. Still calling me on occassion making me believe he's wild and free relationship will never be. He say's he's a player and has no care but I feel in my heart it's make believe he doesn't want to influence me in any way. And I hurt him when he set me free to do what is right for me. So tell me am I Just making myself believe or could this be my true soul mate meant for me. I'm 31 and for last 10 years I gave up me who I am my percinality the things I like. To be the perfect wife for my country husband just the need to be loved. In the past bad relationships cheated on, abuse, He was the first one who didn't cheat and that ment alot. (link)
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hi, i no your not going to like this answer! first i do not believe being acholic is a sickness, just being a coward an afraid to sober up an face the real world. second there is no such thing as physical,verbal abuse love! he dont love you!!! he needs you! to satisfy his ego an his manlyness??? now that dont mean you should go bonkers over some other low life! your in a bad situation now get out of it! but please dont trade one for another! no matter how pretty the flowers look. i am lucky was in love an married 47 yrs an would still be, but cant live forever but you can love for eternity. so clean up your house then take a long look at the future its just around the corner. may the great spirit show you the way. brokenwing
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well, my ex boyfriend and i not matter what, i feel are always gonna be attracted to eachother. we went out for 6months, since dec. 17, 06 and maybe more, on and off. i really like him but, i just don't want a boyfriend. we are gonna call my ex boyfriend frank. i first brokeup with frank to go out with this kid josep. i have always found josep attrative because we play a sport together. a week later josep breaksup with me because he never really liked me. he just wanted to give me a "chance". minding you, josep and i did alot in a week, if you know what i mean.. than i went back out with frank, for like a week and than i i dumped him for the second time. than i move on to this kid who has been my bestfriend since kindergarden. we are gonna call him ryan. he did some stuff together.. but, like he was soo i think he was just doing it for me. yeah, the list countinues but, my question is am i slut? ive went through like more than 5guys in 2months..?? (link)
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hi, i am probably old enough to be your grandfather. i see nothing wrong with playing the field! an i mean playing!not doing! in reality most men want to marry a lady! regardless of how they behave! i no since womens lib things have changed! but have they really? ASK YOURSELF HONESTLY! would you rather have a new car or a used car?? i was very much in love for 47 years till death do we part! an i am glad my love was a new car!! be good: brokenwing
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