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Hi, i am in a long distance relationship and some days i really like the way things are going, my partner has alot of girl mates who he gets along with and hes still friends with his first ex-girlfriend and at times i feel like i havent given him much sexual attention and i obviously cannot do this physically so im scared that he might go and do something with someone else (his first ex) ive confronted him about this but have not mentioned that im worried because hes getting close with his ex ive just told him im scared to lose him and that he might do something stupid, all he replied was "well i havent done anything yet"
and a friend of mine asked him hows things going between me and him he didnt answer he said that his ex wants to have sex with him now that she isnt in a relationship anymore. also a few months back she even confronted him about her feelings towards him and how she still has feelings for him and now shes getting closer to him and he likes it
so what should i do? should i end it ? should i just trust him ? should i confront him about this girl ? because he hasnt said that he still speaks to her i have found that out from my friend
what should i do?
i dont know what he does in his spare time whether he lies to me when he says hes going work or going out with family etc i dont know :'( i feel like ending it with him but i love him so much to the extent where when he asked me "if i do something dumb would you take me back" and i said yes because i truly love him and i understand the situation we are in (link)
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sweetheart ditch the b***h
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22/f, 28/m
Now, before I jump to the question... Here is a brief summary of why or how I ended up stalking his ex:
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. The first six months of our relationship, he lied to me about not having feelings for his ex-girlfriend still. Reason why I asked him in the first place, was because he kept talking about her. His reason was because "she was part of his life for two years," and I never believed that he was completely over her but decided to let it go after the 5th or 6th time I asked him because he stopped talking about her when he realized that it was bothering me. The end of the 6th month, I found him messaging her saying that he missed having her in his life, that nobody compared to her, and that she set the standards pretty high.
A lot more things have happened other than these two incidents, just not with her. But because of these incidents similar to this, he blocked all of his ex's, the girls he has ever dated, took their birthdays off his calendar, etc. It took a second message to ANOTHER ex for me to have enough of it, and to request him to do this until I can trust that he won't do it again.
Since he blocked his exes... Apparently he unblocked his most recent ex for her birthday, just to see her Facebook and to see what she was up to. He told me he didn't message her or friend request her, but he was planning on blocking her again as soon as he was able to. I was unhappy with what he did. He didn't see anything wrong with it, but he knew that I would've questioned his feelings for her and for me. I told him that he was "bending" the rules and that wasn't okay. Especially since he wasn't planning on telling me any of this until I found out and confronted him.
I know what you're probably thinking, I must be an idiot for giving him another chance. But since then, I keep thinking that he's unblocked her, he's facebook stalking her, he's messaging her, or someone. And now I'm stalking her because I'm curious about what is/was so interesting about her profile, posts, etc that makes him want to unblock her and break my trust, again (he hasn't even gained it back, yet). And I want to quit looking at her profile.
Yes, I do realize our relationship needs work to do. But it's hard to work on it when he has broken my trust several times. I caught him lying to my face, breaking my trust, hiding stuff from me, etc. And yes, I do have some insecurities. I usually don't have it within myself, but I started having it in myself/with him/with us because of all of these incidents. So much damage has been done within a year. He's been "my definition of perfect" for the past two months, which is obviously not enough to repair the damage that has been done, but I don't know what to do.
I want to stop stalking his ex-girlfriend. I don't want to be intimidated by her. I want to be able to trust him. I've spoken to my counselor and it seems like the conversation just seems to go off topic.
What should I do? What can I do? Any advice? (link)
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sweetheart I think you should dump this guy. he is putting you through 2 things i woman shouldn't have to go through:
being insecure in a relationship
wondering if there are any other girls in the relationship
He is not worth all this stress. go get someone better
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