ShelbyB's advice column | ShelbyB's Advice About Love Life

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Q: Hi im 15 male and i have been unsure about my sexuality and now i think im gay i really am more attracted at guys i thought i liked girls but looking at guys really turns me on ive become more and more attracted to guys and i want to start looking for a boyfriend is this a normal
feeling?

It's very normal. If you're wanting a bf then you are gay and you should just be you because you're not going to be able to deny your feelings towards men and you won't be comfortable with a girl. I hope this answered what you were wondering. If not then email me. (:

Q: I've...sigh...I was dating this great guy for almost 3 months. Things were great, he's great albeit sometimes a little distant. He's sort of introverted and is used to his independence. Maybe I pushed too hard on trying to find a label or I didn't know how to ask how he felt about me. We had had a conversation that he wasn't ready for a relationship, but being exclusive with me was the thing for him. Which is ohh I dunno...a relationship. Whatever. I know he likes me and I like him too, and miss him.
It was mutual I guess, I didn't want to trap anyone into a relationship they didn't want to be in and he wasn't ready to admit that IT was what he was in and liking it. Either way we broke it off and the next day I texted me and he asked me for time to think things over. We've been texting all week. Sometimes I won't text him at all, and he'll initiate communication, online or over text. We'll talk and ask about each others day...it's torture. It's been going on for about a week and there hasn't been a night were I haven't cried. I play it cool and never mention the issue at hand and he does the same. But the separation is really hurting me. I tend to be uncomplicated and like things to the point, so this waiting period is kinda painful. But I think he's worth it. I know we miss each other, and I've been waiting for him to just step up and say what he I know is in his heart...but he's so scared. I can tell.
This morning I wrote a letter to him explaining everything from my end. What I feel, how I'm willing to give him time, and if he'd just give me a high sign if he thinks we can get back together and get through this bump in the road together. I haven't made up my mind to send it or not. Help? Please?

You shouldnt keep torturing yourself. You should tell him it hurts to much to talk to him and tell him you cant do it. If you stop talking to him and he really does like you, he'll miss you so much that he'll realize what he wants. If you let him keep you around and youre always there anyways who wont feel he needs to change the situation as fast or at all. He doesnt know what he wants so show him. And if he doesnt do anything about you not talking to him then you should probably find another. Because thats like saying he doesnt care you left his life.

Q: Okay im 16/f and i started having sex at age 13 ive only had sex with men i enjoy it but i always have fantasys about women and i fine them attractive sexually and emotionally, ive never done anything with a girl only a kiss. Im with a man right now but i feel like something wrong i wish i could figure myself out please help me

Try dating a girl. If it feels right then thats who you are.

Q: Well, today my best friend's ex boyfriend, Edson, asked me if he should do something special for her, on Valentine's Day, and then ask her out. I don't know what to tell him because my best friend Jessica is barley getting over him and she is into this other guy who she has been crushing on for almost 2 years, he also likes her. But it's hard because Edson is also my friend and I don't want him to get hurt too. But Jessica has been my best friend for 7 years and I definitely don't want her to get hurt. What should I do? And should I tell Jessica that he asked me this or should I keep it to myself?

Keep it to yourself. If they broke up then he shouldnt have let her go for so long. Its too late for Edson and you have to let him know that. Even if it means, he'll be hurt..
She needs to get over him because if theres a guy she really likes and he likes her then you should let that play out first and give her a chance to be with someone new. And if that doesnt work out than you can tell edson he can sweep her off her feet. But for now, he shouldnt do anything and let her be.

Q: How do i know when a guy likes me?

When he wants to talk to you all the time, even in front of his friends. Or if he says he likes to hang out with you. There's lots of little things you can pick up on and just know he likes you or not. Like if he looks at you a certain way, or the things he says.