Hello, I'm here to give any sort of advice! Whether it is about something extremely personal or something general, I'll be here to answer any of your questions. I hope you enjoy my advice, but most importantly remember that the best advice you can get from anyone, is your own advice! Thanks for sharing your concerns and I hope I can help!
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Occupation: student
Age: 20
Member Since: May 21, 2009
Answers: 13
Last Update: May 24, 2009
Visitors: 2731
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Female.
So me and my boyfriend of 3 months broke up two weeks ago because he lied a lot and was just constantly drama. A couple days after that he was telling me he still loved me and wanted to get back together and he was depressed and missed me and i told him we needed to focus on moving on. So it took a couple days, but we decided we could be friends. So on the 5ht day after we broke up he told one of his friends he wanted me to die, that i was a bitch, and he hated me for ruining our relationship.
He acted like he didnt care about me in front of everybody and didn't even talk to me; which was fine because i quit texting him and talking to him also. But then he started sending me messages saything that he missed me and he was hiding his feelings at school but he still loved me and wanted me back. So a week and a half after we broke up, he started bringing pictures to school of this other girl. He said it was his girlfriend and that he was going to sneak her over to his house and spend some time together. This was only a week and half after we broke up. So i sent him a message saying, "Wow, you moved on fast!" He sent me one back saying he hadn't moved on, he just got a girlfriend to get over me.He said he still loved me and anytime i wanted him, he would drop his girlfriend and date me again.
Well i told him that i would never want to date him again and that i would never need him. Then he got really mad and told me not to talk to him anymore. But after that he kept sending me messages saying sorry and he wanted to talk to me but i ignored them all. I ignored him at school even when he wore a sign on his back that said "i have a hot ass girlfriend." But he would still send me messages saying i am gonna break up with her because it is to hard on me. I still love you so much.
So, i went out to the movies with two of my friends and he was there with his girlfriend and my mouth dropped open. So he mocked me when i did that. He got the satisfaction that he wanted. All of my friends that he had talked to say that he is only going out with her to make me mad and jealous. So when my mouth dropped open, and he mocked me doing it, he got the pleasure of knowing that i was jealous and suprised. Because, he told me he was breaking up with her. So he sends me a message right after i see him saying "Sorry you had to see that." I texted back and said "Aww, yall are so cute!" Then he said "Thanks, you looked really good, and please text me and not be mad." I said, "Well i told you to move on so i am not mad."
We were really close as a copule and thats why i am so shocked to see that he was with another girl only a week and a half after we broke up. The first few days after we broke up, he would send me voicemails crying and would be very depressed. But then this happens. At school, he acts like he dosen't care and dosen't talk to me. But after school, it's a different story.
So after tonight, he saw that i was jealous. I try eveyday to act like i don't care and get on with my life. But it is SO HARD. I always find myself looking at him wondering how he could get a girlfriend so quick but at the same time, texting me and telling me he hasn't moved on. And he told me he was going to break up with her but he never did. So now, i don't know how to act. I always act like i don't care but it was so satisfying for him letting me see him with his new girlfriend. I am not texting him anymore and i don't want him to think i care. If he loves me why would he be with her even if he is trying to make me jealous? I am confused. Please let me know what to do. Thanks! (link)
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I'd love to tell you what to do :), unfortunately I'm not you, so I can only give you this advice.
Love is a deep and huge confusing thing. One minute you think you love someone and the next minute you don't.
When you like someone, it's hard to let them go. But you have to remember, in the end you must choose what's best for you.
Is this relationship really worth it? Was it great when you were dating? And does his actions feel like loving actions?
It seems your ex, has given you allot to think about. I notice you said that he has given you allot of drama before, that's why you broke up. But it looks like he's still giving you drama after the break up.
Also if he is dating another girl to get you jealous, it doesn't seem that he's sincere with his feelings. Nor is it fair to the other girl. Wearing shirts around you, ignoring you, and mocking you in public isn't exactly the right way to show love.
It also must be extremely hard for you because you let him go, and he's constantly throwing it back in your face. This isn't mature, nor is it helping the situation at all.
You also don't want to be the reason why he broke up with another girl. It's not fair to you nor the other girl.
If he truly does love you, then that's great, but he's not doing a good job of showing it.
You have a choice to make: You can either get back together with him. Have him break up with that girl, and allow him to have two girls fight over him.
Or you can choose to remove yourself from the situation, and stop texting him.
It's good that your trying not to give him any satisfaction. Remeber your worth true love, and you're better then all this drama.
But in the end you have to do what you think is best. Will getting back together be good decision? Or will it be a mistake?
Good luck and Best wishes, and I hope this helps.
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i truly liked this guy,"S", from this semester. in the beginning,he was quiet and didn't talk much, but as the semester progressed, he opened up, especially to me, about things like his hobbies, future goals, what he did this weekend and personal stuff.based on his reserved character, i thought b/c he reveals so much of himself to me, he may possibly like me.there are other details too but for the sake of keeping it short i won't write them out. nearing the end of the semester though it gets wierd b/c he asked to study with me alone, and that's when you exchange numbers to coordinate the time better,as well as other advantages *hint* *hint*,and it's an awkward moment and he says "well you have my email,hopefully you'll find me there." that day i ran into our study group friends and they came with me to study with S, but I saw S's face light up when he saw me regardless. and after finals when everyone had finished, we were all talking in a group, and he asks me if i'm done for the day, i said yes. then he says he has to go study(it's a friday), looks at me with a final "have a nice summer", and leaves. i'm crushed. i thought he liked me back.the more we talked, the more i found how much in common we have, and the more i grew attracted to his character.i can't even express how i've felt this past week since school ended.it's like all those talks we had evaporated with the beginning of summer. why would he bother talking and joking around with me so much if he didn't like me? i almost wish he hadn't-i wouldn't have known how great a guy he is.i don't want to make a move, i once asked a guy out and it was a disaster i'll never do it again, but i don't know what to do.i know i didn't do anything wrong, usually i can almost always find something i've done or said that was wrong or immature, but this time i can't.it's hard to consider moving on right now, but if anyone can help me out with what to do i'd really appreciate it. thank you for taking the time to read this. (link)
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The first solution is YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG! If you were true to yourself while speaking to him, then you were fine! Don't feel bad, anyone could feel hurt and confused over this situation.
I know it could be hard asking him out or confronting him on the situation, but if you really care about this situation enough, even though you were crushed that last time, it might help you to understand things a little bit more. I know it's hard to get over feelings of pain and rejection. No one like’s confronting those feelings! The thing is, rejection it apart of the romantic life. That's what makes acceptance such a great feeling! It might hurt you to hear that he doesn't like you, but maybe he does and he's too afraid to ask you. Maybe he's waiting for you to ask him out, because he seems like a shy guy. But I truly think you should speak to him. Don't ask him out, bluntly, just share your feelings. The only bad thing that can come out of it, is that you get reflected, but its better then torturing yourself by wondering.
But don't worry, I'm pretty sure that it will all work out for the best. :)
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I use to date this boy about 2 years ago and we dated for about 4 months. Then I broke up with him and he still liked me and he still liked me for 1 1/2 years after the break-up. Every now and then I would go back and have a little thing with him, but I would always end it because for some reason I just started not liking him. Then we got in a big big big fight and he never wanted to talk to me again and he started dating another girl. Then he broke up with her and started talking to me again and telling me that he wanted to be friends again. I had liked him at this point and even before he started talking to me again. And I told him that and he said that he didn't want to date anyone right now. But he never gives me any signs that he still likes me...what should I do. (link)
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You have to give him some space right now. It was great that you shared your feelings with him, but he said he didn't want to be in a relationship. It sucks, because you still like him, but you have to respect what he wants. Once he sees that you aren't pushing anything, he might want to take things further.
But before you jump back into a relationship; him not wanting to be in a relationship might be the best thing for you and him right now. You can figure why you broke up in the first place, find out more things about each other that you didn't know before, and maybe gain some perspective before you decide anything yet.
Simply concentrate on being a really good friend to him. Maybe the relationship he was in before really messed him up. He has to show you his true feelings in his own time. All you can do is be there for him.
I'm sure everything will work out :).
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My boyfriend and I [of almost a year] broke up about nine months ago. Recently, he showed up and asked for another chance. He was truly my first love, so of course, I gave him another chance. We weren't taking things slow physically, but mentally, I refused to get attached to him, because I knew how easily he can change his mind.
Long story short, he's been with another girl this whole time (I knew this), and when I told him that he couldn't have both of us and that he had to choose- he chose her. I was mad about this, but I had been waiting for it to happen again since he showed up a month or two ago, so I'm alright.
My problem is that: I'm homeschooled. I only started homeschooling a year or so ago, so I have plenty of female friends that go to every high school in town, but I don't have many guy friends anymore. Most of the guys I knew in school were more like acquaintences, so we haven't kept up... either that, or they liked me and I wasn't interested in them, so they stopped talking to me.
Summer's coming up, and I don't want to be alone for it. Next year I'm going to be a senior in high school, so I know it's going to be tough doing everything alone. I want to be more of a people person, and I want new boys to like me, and want to hang out.
I'm always too nervous/weirded out by talking to people that live in my own city, online, and I feel like they're creeped out by talking back to me.
=/ Any ideas, please?
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Being alone is always a hard thing to deal with. The best thing about the feeling of being alone is that realistically you really aren't. The great thing about being alone is figuring more and more about yourself. Senior year is coming up, and colleges are a big deal Senior year so in that sense you won't have to worry about the hole big "what's going to happen between me and my boyfriend" deal, with whatever choice you choose in the future. But also Prom and Graduation parties can be tuff when you don't have anyone special to share it with.
Being nervous and weirded out by talking to people is something easily curable. The Cure is trying to learn how to be yourself with people. If they can't accept you for who you are, then forget them. But you do have female friends, so you know you're not a weird person. Online, is not exactly the best place to make new friends, because people are overly cautious for obvious reasons. Community events, parties and school clubs are the best way to meet new people. Tell your girl friends you'd like to meet some guys, bring up conversations that include things you know, hobbies and things you have in common. The great thing about meeting new people is figuring out more and more things about you. So just think of it as, you're not trying to get them to know you, you're trying to get to know yourself.
But remember you could be in a crowd full of people and still feel like a social outcast. The situation is simply mind over matter. But I think you'll be fine! Remember being yourself is really what matters most and knowing that sometimes when you're alone you can actually have the most fun ;).
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