Hey! I'm Kristen. I've had an advicenators column awhile ago, but forgot my password to that account...so decided to make a new one! I'm 20 years old. I have awesome friends, a great family and an amazing boyfriend who I've been with for 4 years. I've definitely had my fair share of drama throughout my life-especially through my high schools years-but those experiences only made me a stronger person. That's what inspires me to be on this site and wanting to help people out any way possible on here.
I won't turn away any questions--And I won't sugarcoat anything. I'm here to help as best as I can. So ask away! (:
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania
Occupation: Student
Age: 20
Member Since: June 28, 2010
Answers: 15
Last Update: December 21, 2010
Visitors: 2890
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2010-06-24 17:28:11
12:18
So, where should I begin.
So much has happened in the last couple months,
and a lot of it drives me absolutly insane.
There's been crap with my ex, he confuses me most of the time
I talk to him.
I was talking to him last night and most of the thing he said
were super offensive.
He called me fat ( I know I'm not fat, but I really wish I didn't
hear that from him. )
he's jut been contradicting himself a lot. And I mean a lot.
Anyways, I did break up with him.
And I don't know how I should feel about that.
I actually feel happier, but I don't know if I want him to know that.
I don't want to hurt his feelings as much as I seem to have already.
I wish I could just have a great boyfriend like Jess or my sister does.
But I might be getting a job at Matteo's as a busser!
I'm really, really excited about that; and I hope it works out
for the best.
I've also been looking as postsecret stuff more.
It makes me have the urge to get off my lazy ass
and buy myself a camera. I have no money yet though.
I think it'd be cool to write secrets on the pictures I take
and put them on flickr.com. I'm pretty sure I need to get Photoshop
first though, and I have no clue how to do that.
2010-07-01 18:59:44
1:47
Hmm, what am I feeling today?
I feel lonely.
And confused.
Does anyone like me? It doesn't feel like it.
It could be just my hormones again, but I don't know.
I wish I was happy, like a lot of people are.
But it could be worse.
I could be living on the streets. With nothing but the clothes on my back?
Who am I? What the hell am I doing ?
I say I want to help, but where has that gotten' me?
I need someone to undestand, just like I try to understand others.
I'm not strong. I try to convince myself that I am, but it can't be true.
I want to be loved, I want to help others. But how can I do that, if I can't
even help myself.
I haven't been through anything. Sure, a bad relationship, a scary car
crash and a semi bad young childhood. But I haven't been through shit
compared to anyone else.
So how can i help?
I talk to God; I try to at least.
But i don't know, I'm going through one of my stages, yet again. This stage
is when I'm so fed up with life, I don't know what to believe.
Ugh, I just want it all to stop.
I'm tired and I'm sad. And I wish someone understood me.
I wish someone could help me help them, or help them to help myself.
I really need a gaurdian in my life.
I know the Lord is. But someone on planet earth.
That can listen and actually talk back and hold my hand and tell me
everything gunna' be alright.
All of that is my diary, please, someone. Any advice would be great.
(link)
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Lets start with your first post. Obviously I don't have the slightest idea about you and your ex's past relationship, but I'll try to help as best as I can. You did say you broke up with him, which seems like it was the best thing. Being put down, having offensive words thrown at you, being super confused...that's definitely not a healthy relationship. Especially that he called you fat...guys should NEVER call a girl fat, no matter how hurt they are!It's great that you feel happier now, though. I'm sure things will get better in time. I've dated such jerks in my past. I never thought I'd find a guy would treat me wonderful. But thankfully, I finally have & we've been dating for 4 years. So try not to stress too much about finding an amazing guy. God puts people in your life for reasons..when the time is right. You seem like a good person, and you definitely deserve a great boyfriend!
As for your second post--lonely, confused, ughh! I've been having those exact feelings & emotions. Despite having a great man. I also feel as though no one likes me sometimes. I mean, I DO have several good friends. I used to have A LOT of friends, but we're just so different now. I just don't fit into the things they enjoy doing. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so lonely a lot of the time? I don't know. I think I need more [girl] friends to talk to.
Anyways, like you, I also catch myself being kind of "depressed"..then I realize how good I actually have it. How worse things could be going for me. But it's just so hard to keep that in mind when you're feeling so down, you know? Do you go to church? I always used to, but I haven't been going for about a month or so now. It seems as though my days go a little smoother and I feel happier when I go to Church. Hmm, I should really start going again!
I'm really sorry that you've been feeling this way; but in a way, it feels good to know there's people out there who share the same emotions & such as me. I also wish there were more people out there who understood me..so I totally know how that is.
Things will get better. They really will. You'll find a fantastic man one day, God will eventually put people in your life who will cheer you up like no others & this stage of feeling lonely, sad & confused will pass. Keep your head up & never let your praying knees get lazy (:
I hoped this helped. My heart goes out to you-I know these emotions drive you crazy & make you feel alone. If you want to write back, please feel free!
Smile! (:
-Kristen
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Okay. So I am a male. I believe I am Bisexual. Theres this guy I've been talking to and me and my girlfriend after 3 years broke up yesterday. So today I'm with this guy and we kiss. But it felt really awkward. Am I confused? Or Do I just have to get used to it after a few times? Maybe it was shock? I know I like him... but its odd? (link)
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In my opinion, I think when people are confused about what they stand for or what they represent, they quickly try to find a label. (Bi, Gay, Les, Ect.) Labeling oneself is a way to feel like you belong to something. Like you're supported by a group. You don't HAVE to label your sexuality...who knows, you could be the guy who is sexually attracted to men, but isn't emotionally attracted. Or vice versa.
I'm sure it did feel awkward kissing your guy friend...but after dating a girl for three years, that is totally understandable. Try not to stress so much about this right now, even though it may be difficult. Keep being open-minded. Hang out with girls, guys, whoever you wish. In time, you will realize who you feel more comfortable around, & who makes you happier.
It all will change over time; your views, your thoughts on sexuality, and your feelings. So for now, go with the flow :)
Hope this helped & good luck! (:
-Kristen
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Hi there, im a 15 yr old male.
Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a while, and i feel like its time to move on, but thats what every male feels like. So i knew she wasn't like that, she only likes kissing,but shes older than me. I really do love her, shes been the best to me and she makes me so happy. I want to hint her to move on, any tips?
Thank you very much,
Tom (link)
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Move on as in...get out of the relationship & move on? or move on as in physical things? Sorry I just didn't want to answer this without knowing what exactly you meant. haha let me know & i'll help ya out either way! (:
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I have been casually seeing this guy for around a year now. For the first 6 months it was just a laugh like nothing serious but now we are getting quite serious like he tells me his feelings are soo strong for me and stuff. We're always out, tell each other everything and like plans for the future and stuff. But he is geniunely scared of relationships. He was in one for 2 years and he's still best friends with the girl but they constantly argue and stuff and he says he doens't want me and him to ruin what we've got by a relationship. He's never seen a steady one seen as his parents split up, he had been cheated on when he was younger and alot of his friends parents have split up. i think he has alot of trust issues.
Thing is i have really fallen for him, we've been through alot together and alothough we're not actually in a relationship he always txts me random things like "my feelings for you are so strong" or "your an amazing person and i'm so glad with where we are" Last night i told him i love him and he seemed a bit taken aback by it, he said that they are really strong words but i just said thats how i feel i'm not expecting you to say anything back, maybe i shouldn't have said anything, then he said he was glad i did and nothing will change between us.
Does it matter he didn't say it back?
What do you think of our whole situation of not been fully committed?
Sorry it's long (link)
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Men are so hard to read. They are not as verbal as us girls, and some have been raised on the belief that "actions speak louder than words. ". But I totally understand why you probably felt slightly offended that he didn't say it back. You just want to know if you're a man's final destination, not just a rest stop along the highway. It seems like he's really into you, though. If he didn't care, he probably would have had a negative response when you said those three words. Instead, he was happy that you did. Maybe its actually a GOOD thing that you were the first to say it. It might have showed him that you really do like him and made him less afraid of commitment. Considering he does have trust issues due to his past, it probably will take him awhile to warm up to the idea of saying I love you..and being committed to an official relationship. Just be sure to support him and always try to prove to him that you won't let him down. Eventually, he will realize how much of a sweet, honest girl you are and will be more comfortable with being more than friends.
Just take your time. It's obvious you guys are very into each other, and its completely normal not to be fully committed right now. And don't regret saying "i love you". I'm sure it meant more to him than you think!
I hope this helped-Good luck with your boy! (:
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I need help! My bf and I have been dating for about 5ish months. I am not ready for intercourse condsidering I am only almost 14. I don't want to show him anything or him to show me anything. I also don't want for him to touch any of my private parts or vise-versa. I just want him to get turned on by me. I mean it would be something I can do in front of people too cause we don't get alot of alone time. I there anything I can do to make him really turne on so he stys interested In me? I know he is faithful but I want him just to stay interested. (also it's be great if I can do whatever it is do he doesn't think I'm a s**t or sumthing because I really don't want him to think that or anything like it. Thank you in advance! :) (link)
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I'm glad to hear you're waiting to do some of things..not too many young girls are like that anymore! You're definitely making a smart choice.
Anyways. Some girls think you have to act slutty to turn their man on-so not true! There are so many little things you could do...and yes, even in front of people! Here are a few..
-Small, gentle kissing on his neck. I mean,you don't want to sit there and suck on his neck with friends watching! lol But just small little kisses will do the trick (:
-Get Dolled Up! Now, you're only almost 14. So you don't want to dress too sexy, or anything. But face it..LESS SKIN=HIM TURNED ON. Short shorts is the way to go (; Curl your hair, put on a little lipgloss..his eyes will be glued on you!
-This one might sound a little silly-but it has always worked for me. Whisper something really soft in his ear. Even if you just whisper "You're so sexy"..he'll love it!
-Make several attempts to touch him as you guys are talking. Touch his hand, leg, shoulder, whatever. Eventually he'll notice and if he says anything about it, just say "Sorry, I can't keep me hands off of you!" If you do this, it will show him that you are very attracted to him. This will keep him interested.
-Sit on his lap. Act normal, and have a normal conversation. In his mind, he will be so turned on! Especially if your booty is like..right..THERE, ya know? haha! Trust me, he'll enjoy it.
-Lastly, BE YOURSELF.Guys love confident girls. Doing these things will show him that you're into him...and they will keep him wanting more, without you even acting slutty. The more you do these simple things, the more things you will think of to do.
I hope this helped-Good luck with your boy!(:
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