Q: Okay, first of all, 18f. Second, some background - there's this guy who had been confusing me, teasing me, making fun of me, and being kind of a (good-natured) asshole to me for about two months. Somewhere along the way, I developed a crush on him...weird, I know. He's different, though. Guys aren't usually able to confuse me like he did. He's intelligent and interesting. That's like, exactly what I need in a guy.
Thing is, he kissed me the other day, and completely gave away the fact that he liked me the night before when we were hanging out...so I didn't exactly push him away.
So I like him, he likes me. That's a big problem for me. I got out of a fairly long term thing in like mid-October, and pretty much decided single was the way to go for me. I've always been kind of a loner and I've felt trapped in relationships before. I didn't like that feeling. I'm almost afraid to end up in anything complicated like a relationship with him 'cause - for one thing - I dont want to lose the friendship if it ends badly. I don't want to feel stuck, or tied down right now, at all. That's totally not what I need.
However, it's a mutual crush. I mean, what better grounds for a relationship?
I just don't know what to do, because I want to be with him but I'm afraid of that trapped feeling, and all that. I don't want to go back on my word to myself (I said I'd stay out of relationships for a long time because I was sick of the complexities and the confusion and drama they always ensue), but if that's the case, why do I want to be with him?
Argh.
My first instinct is to run away from my feelings/from him, but consciously I don't want to do that. AHH. I guess I wanna know what you guys think I should do.
Please lay off the chatspeak/all-caps. Both of those are extremely obnoxious. If I have to read your answer more than once to understand it, you're not getting a five.
Thanks =)