Hi!
I am a 19-year-old highschool student and I like giving advice to others. It i my senior year and I plan to study medicine next year. I am not an expert on every subject(yet :D) - but I promise I'll do my best!
Gender: Female
Location: Estonia
Age: 19
Member Since: January 1, 2012
Answers: 5
Last Update: March 4, 2013
Visitors: 1966
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I have this guy friend im close to , we both flirt alot and are playful around eachother..Were always playing footsie and hes always trying to hold my hand.. and sometimes we actually do.. i asked him what he thought about relationships and he told me that he doesnt want anything serious because his last relationship was so complicated and it ended badly and it was just too much hurt to deal with. So i asked him why he holds my hand and acts the way he does. He didnt have an exact answer, he kept beating around the bush.. i would be like "Do you even feel anything for me? " hed be like 'I cant be in a relationship, i try my best to avoid any feelings towards anyone. " Like i dont get it, the farthest wev ever went was holding hands, and he knows for a FACT thats all its ever gonna be.. sometimes when well joke around about it,hes like im telling you no strings attached :P and like hell say things like that that makes me think hes trying to be friends with benefits, but isnt Friends with benefits more sexual than emotional? and holding hands is an emotional thing.. I just dont understand him, when i asked him what it was he told me its just different with me,, like he doesnt want anything more than a friendship but at the same time he wants something less than a relationship, its weird. Like is he at that mind state where he doesnt know what he wants? or is he just using me? and if he is just using me in what way exactly? he told me he wasnt.. he was like if i was i swear id treat you differently ( i guess he meant not in a respectful way) and to be honest hes very respectful to me. Im not naive and stupid by the way.. i know that theres a really good chance that hes just bored, but i just dont see what pleasure HOLDING my hand would do for him, can someone please help me understand this? thank you. No rude answers please im just wondering and i wanna know what i should do =/ (link)
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From the way you describe this guy's actions I do not think he is using you. I think he is not sure what he wants - which might also be as bad as if he was using you, because you will probably never get what you want out of this - which I assume is a relationship with him.
He does not sound like a bad guy, but if you like him as more than a friend, I think you should consider not seeing him anymore - because you might be the one getting hurt in here.
Best,
Diana
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I'm 20 yo, and i want to break up with my bf but i dont know how. He isn't really a bad guy, i just dont fink we're suited. The thing is we've broken up and made up thrice within the last four yrs. I want to end it officially nw cos i dont have feelings for him anymore. He keeps talking about sex but am a virgin and am proud of it. I dont want us to be enemies cos we go to d same university. (link)
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The best solution is - be honest. Tell him that you don't have any feelings for him anymore.
I think it is almost impossible for you to break up with him, without him being hurt ( you sayd: He keeps talking about sex - so, I think he has feelings for you still ). You just have to be strong - if he hates you afterwards, you have to suffer through it until he gets over it.
Good luck!
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