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Q: 15/f

okay well i know this guy let's call him "Dan". And we've made out and done some things but we weren't even in a real relationship and i told him that i wanted to be in one and that i wouldn't go any farther until we were in one. He tells me he wants to be friends with benifites and i'm all like no because i just can't stand those relationships. It's either you're with me or not. Then he tells "forget you then." And so i'm all like what ever i can find a better guy who'll respect me. Then when i was walking home he waited for me. The moment he saw me he walked towards me and was all like "sup?" I roll my eyes and walked past him like what ever. He was all like "you're just gonna walk away form me like that?" And i was all like yea.Then i just had to ask "why would you lie to me." because he said he'd never hurt me.The n he played stupid like what do you mean? and he asked if he could walk me home and i said i guess. but i was still mad. we talked and he said that he wasn't ready another girlfriend. So i'm all like ok that means we're not going to be anything. Then we went back to his house to talk somemore and he was all like we can kick it in the bathroom. and i'm all like wat? But we did and he said that his ex and him faught too much so he doesn't want commitment right now. Then i told him if we were in a F/B relationship i'm gonna get hurt again because he'll probably cheat on me. Then he tells me he swears he wouldn't and he hasn't ever since he's met me but i don't know if i can trust him.

So Please Help i don't know what to do, if i should drop him or stay with him.

Thanks!

This is coming from a guy mind you...
Like the girl before said, drop his ass in an instant. being a guy, i know what hes aiming for, and i know that you will only end up being hurt by him. if you become friends with benefits with him, then thats all you will EVER be to him, someone to mess around with. just dont do it, itll be bad for you in the long run.

Q: be prepared, its a bit long.

my boyfriend have been going out for about 5 months. he's amazing. it was actually one of those best friends for life, turned love, things er whatever. but the thing is: he has jealousy issues like no other. he always tells me that guys are flirting with me, and he doesn't like it. i admit, i do flirt with guys, but its my nature. i grew up with guys. and i dont see flirting like most people do. i know its bad, but i cant seem to get it through my boyfriend's head that i only like him. and not anyone else. i try to explain i dont mean to flirt. but he just says 'okay' in that sarcastic, i know he's lying sort of way. and to top it all off. he 'flirts' with other girls too. if he wants to say that i do. but i know he doesnt mean it.

[bt the way, "flirting" in the sense. would be me pushing a guy. or pretending to throw him in the water. or the definition of childish flirting. i'm not even talking about like, kissing other guys or anything]

..and i definitly don't want to screw things up with the one guy that i dont have any problems with [well, besdies this].

so, im asking.
could anyone give advice on how i could possibly.
try to stop "flirting" with people.
or how to get it through his head, that i dont mean to.
because i think he only partially believes me.

Let him know that hes special, and that hes something set apart from all those other guys...that doesnt mean you have to ignore all other guys, just that, say, when your kidding around with other guys and your bf shows up, or after your done talking to the other guys, go over and kiss him, or cuddle, or tell him you love him or whatever you think will let him know that even though you know other guys, that he is YOUR guy, and that hes the only one. that hes special to you. introduce him to people as your boyfriend. dont be scared to kiss him in front of your friends (guys or not). just constantly remind him that he is something special to you, and that he has nothing to be jealous of the other guys about.

Q: 14/f. sorry if this is realllyy long lol, ill try to keep it short.

ok so first off. i'm REALLY shy. like in school, everyone [well not everyone but some people who are really immature] tease me about "never talking" and this really pisses me off because just because i'm shy, quiet and well-behaved in school doesn't mean i never talk. infact at home and with my friends i'm so loud and talkative that they can't shut me up. =D but being shy is a huge problem for me that i can't overcome. anyone that i'm not really close to, i can hardly speak to. yeah if they say something to me i'll answer, but it's not like i'll go out of my way to ask them a question. and in school its the same way. so i'm gonna be a freshman. and like high school=new people. how can i overcome my shyness and open up to them so i can get more friends? because as of right now i have 2 best friends who i've know forever and i can totally be my true self around them, love em to death and can tell them anything. i also have a few other friends, not as close but i can still talk/hang out with them. i dont consider myself popular, even tho i think the cliques and everything are really stupid. this leads me into the second part of my question lol...

there's this boy i like. it'll be 2 years that i like him in july. he, unlike myself, is pretty popular. always flirting with other girls, hanging out with the guys, etc. now, this isnt one of those cases where the unpopular girl just like the popular guy because he's hot and everything and never talked to him before. i used to talk to him. he actually considered me his friend. he actually LIKED me. it all started in the summer before 7th grade.. when he actually wasnt as popular [this year he kinda changed and has been hanging out with a different group of people] anyway, he told me he liked me online and we talked. i started to like him, told him i did. in november of 7th grade, he asked me out [online and through my friend however]. and here's the turning point. i said NO. why ? well, he would've been my first real boyfriend, i'm really shy [as i said before].. you see, it was easy talking to him online, because it wasn't face to face. in school though, it was a whole different story

i dont know what happened. after i turned him down, we still talked for a while [which had to be really awkward for him] after a while though..he just lost interest in me i guess..and our conversations slowly got boring. and we didn't know what to talk about. and he hardly said anything. and i did most of the talking. it was the same in the summer before 8th grade. i became almost obsessive in a way. i was IMing him like everyday. and he would hardly say anything. then 8th grade started and i just said to myself "this isn't going anywhere" and i gave up. i seriously haven't talked to him online since like september or october.

but now, i'm going into highschool. and i really want to start talking to him again. do you think i have a chance left? i mean.. september was a long time ago. it would be really awkward iming him and i'd have no clue what to say. it would probably be like those days where he hardly say anything. "hey..hi..whats up..nm u..nothing..cool" and so on. that's what our convos were like. i dunno. would iming him again be a good idea? ughh there's like so much more to the story but it would prob. go on forever..what should i do? so sorry it was so longg!

ok, here goes...

the shyness thing...you get over that, its just something that highschool does to you. it brings you out of your shell. trust me, i was as shy as you could get around almost everyone. but then i stopped caring what others thought of me, and i started being ME, and people were attracted to that, because i have a lot more friends now than i ever thought i would...

the popularity thing...if you dont think about it, it isnt there. for example, while you might be intimidated by popular people, they might just have a lot of friends bcuz they are really nice. so dont be intimidated by the appearances, especially at the beginning of highschool. because believe it or not, EVERYONE is scared at the start of freshmen year, and everyone tries to ast different so they wont be rejected by others...just act yourself, and youll be fine.

With the guy, you have to act yourself, do you like him how he is now, or do you like who he used to be? if you like him how he is now, then go after it. just ask him what hes been up to since you last talked, enough time has passed that any hard feelings should be gotten over, and enough interesting stuff should have passed for him to talk about. ask him about whatever he might be interested in, sports, music, tv, whatever...the world cups a big things right now, maybe that would get him talking if he pays attention to soccer...so yeah, just tell him how you feel about everything...from experience, honesty really IS the best policy...

bio

names ryan, and im basically just here to help you guys out...ive been through most of the stuff you could ask about (cept all that being a female stuff) and i know how shitty life can be without someone there for you, helpin you through the tough times y'know? so yeah, ask me about anything you want to, i honestly dont care WHAT you ask me about, ill try to help you out the best i can no matter what...but yeah, i got a LOT of experience in the areas of love, depression, loss, suicide, and all that other nice stuff....well, ill be readin what you ask kk? catch ya later...