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Q: 13/m. I'm sorry if this is kind of long. you see, I have this sort-of friend: she's in all of my classes except for one, so we talk a lot. She makes fun of me sometimes, but I really don't think she means it, because things are regular again by next period. I kind of like her, but not really. And the acts as though she likes me sometimes. But, I really don't want anything to happen between us, since I've already made my New Year's resolution to get this one particular girl to like me.

So anyway, that girl, let's call her Jane, her mom died two weeks ago. I've never had to sit through a death before---I'm lucky enough that nobody in my family has ever died. And the only time anyone's parent has died other than Jane's is in 2nd grade, when I couldn't really grasp the meaning of death.

In all our classes two weeks ago, we were just talking about death and stuff. It was really depressing. In one class, things got so deep that half the class was crying. I myself was in tears, as I nearly am recalling this. But not because I knew and missed Jane's mother. Not because it reminded me of a dead relative that I had. Because I could finally grasp the meaning of death.

So, everyone's really depressed now, and she got to miss school two weeks ago the whole week---I would want to, if my parents had died. She's coming back on Tuesday, when vacation ends. One Thursday and Friday, all her teachers---which meant all my teachers except for one---received e-mails from her dad saying that we shouldn't talk about this "event" unless Jane brings it up first. But me, I'm a really shy person, and not having experience with anything like this, I'm probably gonna feel really awkward talking to her. I won't know what to say. I'm sure of it, it happens to me all the time. Whenever something goes wrong with anybody, I never know what to say. I don't really want to say anything like "we're right behind you" or "we got your back", because however true it may be, it may or may not give the impression that I like her.

So, I guess the whole point I'm trying to make here is that I'd feel awkward talking to her. I could've just said "i have a sort of frend whos mom died what to i do" but I feel that I can get a more personal answer if you have some background information. I will probably rate you. Smartasses get reported. Thank you, school starts again on Tuesday!!!

How about saying to her, I'm happy to see you, how are you doing? If she says ok. or is just kind of quiet, mention that you can probably help catch her up on class or something since she was out, or if she needs anyone to talk to that you are around. Sometimes, talking to someone about normal stuff right after something so important happens feels kind of like a crazy thing to do, but often that is what that person needs. They have been through a lot and they probably just want to start feeling 'normal' again about certain parts of their life like school. I bet you can help her ease back in by talking to her like she is just a nice girl that you like, not that she is a nice girl whose mom just died.
Good luck. I hope that helps you. Keep me posted.

Q: In order to know the real me, you have to know me well. I'm usually shy around people that i know know that much. This sucks cuz im a totally fun person! No one knows who I am!! ALl the guys of course want fun girls to go out with. I'm not ugly because people have told me (not my close friends) that im pretty. A hott boy even said so himself! I just wish people could see the real me. Does anyone have this problem? CAn anyone help me??

Sometimes you may have to force yourself out of your comfort level and be more outgoing and more the real you in public. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if that is the case. Its normal to be shy especially around cute guys, but wouldn't you just want to kick yourself it you didn't get the guy you like to notice you, because you weren't being the real you around him?
Good luck, it may be hard at first, but i think it will work out.

Q: I just started a new job. The store is new, it's only been open about a week and a half. I've had about 7 shifts so far.

Well I had today(saturday) off. I knew I didnt have to work again until Sunday. The problem was that my boss left a message at 10 in the morning today saying that she needed me to cover someones shift at 5 today. I didnt actually get the message until after 5 pm because my answering maching wasnt working. So by the time I phoned the store the manager said my supervisor was gone for the day. I know that I wasnt scheduled to work today but could I get fired for not atleast phoning her? I talked to my friends and they told me I am worried for nothing and that I am allowed to have a life, but I just wanted to check here first.

I don't think you are in trouble at all. Touch base with your manager and explain that you didn't get the message until late but in the future you are open to helping out on additional shifts. I wouldn't worry, but I'd feel the same way until I spoke to my boss. People understand that people have lives and aren't always free to work when they aren't scheduled. It shows you have a really good work ethic and that you care.

Q: ok so i am 14/f and i just started high school. at my old school i had a lot of friends but they went to another school. I have some friends that went to the same high school as me but i dont really know them that well; they're not close to me. and so i found a group of friends who i hang out with and they're really nice, except i want to be popular. and here's the thing i know some of the popular kids and i talk to them and everything. and last night was the dance and i figured i would dance with the popular kids but i ended up dancing with my new group of friends. i had a great time! so here's my question..last night i didnt even want to go dance with the popular kids and normally at school i try to talk and be with them. do you guys think that i should hang out with the popular kids or my other group of friends that i just made?? thanx

Trying to be popular is so exhausting and also being cool shouldn't have to be work. If that crowd calls you and wants to hang out, great. If the other group does and wants to hang out and you have fun with them, great too. Bottom line the key to real popularity is being friendly and well liked by the most people. stay on this path, you'll probably be prom or homecoming queen in a couple of years.

Q: Okay, so I'm in a bit of a weird situation. I haven't been in this situation since ninth grade, and I'm in college.
So my friend likes this guy...and this guy likes me...
Where I am is, I'm TRYING actively not to like this guy because I don't want my friend to get hurt, but he's talking to me and hanging out with me more and more, and I feel like I'm losing my battle.
We started hanging out because he and I have one HECK of a lot in common - like, it's scary. We all went out once and we ordered the same thing...in unison. Lol...
Yeeeeeeah.
So, um. I guess my question is, what do I do? My friend likes him, and he likes me, and I hate to admit it, but I'm starting to kind of like him, too.
I won't tell her I like him because, for one thing, I teased her ENDLESSLY about liking him, and I'd never hear the end of it. For another thing, that would cause such awkward friendship crap...I have, however, kind of half admitted to him that I'm starting to kinda like him...
So help me out, guys!

You know.... this is a tough situation. I think you should go for him. I do know someone who dated someone whose friend was interested in the same guy: My mom; to my Dad over 30 years ago. And they are still married. I don't think the girl was too thrilled about it, but clearly the two of them were meant to be.
Whether or not you will end up with this guy forever is besides the point, but sometimes you owe it to yourself to see what the possibilities are.
I think you should be honest with your friend about your feelings. It will probably affect your friendship, but if you are sensitive enough to her feelings and do it in a way that isn't obnoxious or boastful, hopefully in time things between you two will be ok.
Good luck and keep me posted.

Q: I realize that this is a question asked millions of times per day and that I normally skip over questions like these. Please don't do that here. There's this guy in one of my classes, and I like him. Since the beginning of the year, he's been emphasising the traits that we have in common. For example, I am an unuually loud and outgoing person. He has become loud and seems really confident. Plus he has style and is so cute. He's funny and makes me smile. Lately, he's been walking 1/2way to my next class with me and today his arm was around me for like a long time. I haven't really had any experience with guys, but I am in high school, and so is he. Do you think that he's being friendly, or that he likes me? Thanks for not disregarding this question, and I will rate well for genuine advice!

He SO likes you. Just keep doing what you are doing. I bet he asks you what you are doing this weekend by Wednesday, and if he doesn't its just because he's nervous.
Be happy about this one.