Bio♥
Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)
Oh, and ask me anything!
Advice
I am doing a really complex study for a class I am taking. I chose happiness as my topic it is something I've always wanted to study, and I would like to hear some opinions here. I need to see as many views as possible as this is all for research. I VERY much appreciate anyone taking the time to respond.
Here are the questions:
1. Are you happy?
2. What do you think would make you a happy person?
3. Do you believe money brings happiness?
4. What do you believe makes people happy/unhappy?
5. Any other interesting theories about happiness you'd like to share?
Even if you have a completely twisted view on this it would be very helpful to hear it, and this will all stay anonymous of course. THANK YOU!
1. I think happy is a complex word. I have days when I am sad, stressed, or plain old pissed. However when I step back and assess my life, I realize how lucky I am and how good I have it. That's when I realize that even though I am not happy 24/7, for the most part I am a happy person.
2. If my life continued as it is now. I would love to one day marry my boyfriend, continue a close relationship with everyone I care for, and start a family of my own.
3. I believe money can help. When a family is constantly struggling from paycheck to paycheck it starts to take a toll on a relationship. However I also beleive that if a couple can survive having no money, they can survive anything. I don't believe money can buy happiness. That is something a person has to find on their own, I just believe it makes being happy eaiser.
4. Love. Plain and simple. If you have love, you have happiness. If you don't, then you don't. I don't just mean boyfriend/girlfriend, wife/husband love either. I mean any kind of love, whether from a friend or a family member.
I was rated a 5 ♥
16/f
My friend is having an abortion today, and although I don't support her decision completely, I am here for her completely.
On the other hand, I just found out my mother is pregnant with twins, she already has three kids. We can't afford two more children, and by we can't afford it I mean, we can barely get through now. (We barely have a place to stay.) I had to confront my mom about her pregnancy and she told me about it, one baby has died, and the other is really unhealthy. My mom and I aren't really close because of her boyfriend and I've been kind of mean to her before I found out about her pregnancy, and now I feel bad.
Can any one give me some tips on how to help them through these rough times? Or how to be here for my mom without getting all mushy and teary-eyed with her?
Regardless of my beliefs (I am pro-life) I understand the importance of being there for a friend during tough times, and trust me! Having an abortion is more than likely going to be the biggest decision of her life. Don't chastise her for her decision even if you think it is wrong, but if it's not to late, make sure she fully understands the situation so she won't end up with any regrets. That is something that you can never take back.
Since it's almost 9 PM my time I am going to assume that she has already gone through with the procedure. With that being said, take care of her, emotionally I mean. Explain that you are there for her if she needs someone to talk to, and let her know how much you support her decision (even if you don't agree with it). If things get to tough for her, gently suggest counceling. Considering the procedure is essentially taking the life of a baby, having one for anyone with a heart can be life-altering, and I don't mean that in a good way.
As for your mom, that is really tough too. Take care of her as well, emotionally and physically. If it is too hard for you to flat out apologize for the way you have treated her, let her know how much you care through action. Like previously mentioned, clean the house, make the family meals, and help take care of any younger siblings you may have. If you are the youngest, strive for your independence and take care of yourself.
If you are old enough, consider getting a part-time job. If you aren't old enough, ask locals if you could babysit, clean their house, or mow their lawn. That is the best way to show your mom that you care. Let her worry about the major finances, but when you can offer to pay for a meal or too. Lend them money when they need it, and take care of them the best you can. Don't over-exert yourself though; always think of yourself too. Stress is no environment to bring a new baby into. :) Get exited about the miracle of life, and always remember somebody somewhere is having the same problems, and many have worse.
I hope things get better for you and your loved ones :)
I was rated a 5 ♥
female/teenager
hello, well im almost 'in my 6th month' of pregnancy. i didnt know i was pregnant until a month ago because my periods normally VERY irregular...
the problem is before i found out i have been smokin weed, drinkin, & smokin cigarettes. until 2 months ago, i was smokin a pack of cigs a day. 3 months ago, i was drinkin everyday. im only an occasional pot smoker ! so the past two months ive only drank wine and smoked about 4 cigarettes a day because i jus felt like doin better for myself (motherly instict i guess ?)
now my question is... is there ANYWAY that i can reverse the damage ive done ?? or improve the chances of my baby bein healthy !? the doctor says its fine but i know someone who they said that about and his mom drank and now his eyes roll around and he stutters :(
THANKS !
Motherly instinct would include you quitting everything cold turkey, not "cutting back". If you are so worried about the harm you are doing, be healthy.
Of course what you have done is damaging. There is always a chance you're baby could have defects, and if you're doctor is a good doctor, he should have explained that to you. However you cannot blame yourself for what you've done unknowingly. Get healthy now, better late than never. Get on vitamins and folic acid if you haven't already, and get on a healthy diet. STOP SMOKING AND DRINKING! Obviously you know it's harmful or you wouldn't have asked this question. Ask your doctor if there are any kinds of tests you can take to make sure your baby is healthy. And if you are a believer, pray to God.
I truly hope your baby is healthy, and I am sorry for your misfortune. Consider getting healthy after the baby as well. Smoking, smoking marijuana, and drinking are all unheatlhy whether you are pregnant or not. You wouldn't want this to happen again would you?
Good luck.
I was rated a ♥
1.how do several organelles work together to synthesize proteins in a cell?
also..
what are some different types of enzymes?
how and where are they synthesized in a cell?
what are theyre functions?
how do they get from their place of synthesis to the place where they interact with the substrate?
I do believe this site has some kind of rule against giving answers to homework questions, which is what is sounds like you are asking for. Sparknotes can be really helpful for all sorts of different school subjects, so try checking that out. Something I do when I get stumped on a biology homework question is google it. If you look around you will eventually find the answer you are looking for, plus you'll learn a lot in the process. :)
I was rated a 5 ♥
school is tough and i need a little help.i try to get good grades all the time i study and study but i always forget everything before the test i made a c on my last math test.what do i do?
I am probably not much help as far as math goes. That has always been my worst subject thoughout school. But it is all about your motivation, dedication, and study skills. It sounds like you are motivated, or else you wouldn't study at all. You do study, so that's a start. You sound dedicated, because obviously even after you make a less than satisfactory grade you are willing to try again. So I think your problem is your study skills.
Ask your math teacher about getting a tutor. A lot of schools offer tutoring sessions after school so check something like that out. If your school doesn't have that, talk to your teacher about having her give you a little extra help.
The key to getting good grades on tests is memorization and understanding. You cannot just read the material and expect to memorize it. You have to understand it first. Think about what you are reading as you read it, and make sure you are comprehending everything. If you don't, it will be almost impossible to expect to remember it come test time.
There are certain study techniques that help as well. Figure out what yours are. Some do better studying for long periods of time while others do better in 20 to 30 minute sessions with little 5 to 10 minute breaks in between. Some people do better studying in the morning, while others do better at night. Just find out what your most comfortable study environment is, and use that advantage. Make sure you study in the same place everytime. If you don't have a desk in your bedroom, consider getting one. If you study in the same place everytime your body will eventually realize that when you sit down at the desk it's time to buckle down and study. Never study in bed. Your body connects your bed to sleeping, so it's not a suitable environment to try to learn in.
As far as the actual studying goes, as soon as you get home from school, review your notes. Put a question mark besides points that you don't fully understand, and have your teacher review it with you the next day. Reviewing your notes every single day is way better than trying to cram everything you learned in the day before a test. If you have trouble memorizing certain things, come up with silly things to help you remember it.
For example, if you need to remember that "carta" is the spanish word for letter, picture a huge letter in a grocery cart. Silly little things like that will help you connect the two during the test. Even if you can't come up with something catchy, anything stupid will help you remember. When I took government my senior year, we had to learn all the amendments. I could never remember the thirteenth, so I came up with a word association; since 13 was unlucky, and the 13 amendment was to abolish slavery, I told myself that slavery was unlucky, just like the number 13. It's completely insane, but I never forgot it.
Hopefully this helps. If you need anything else just let me know. :)
I was rated a ♥
and im not really sure if he likes me how do i know and when im with him i get so excited but how can i tell him face to face to tell me if he feels the same way
Sorry it has taken so long to answer. The best thing to do is just tell him. You like him, obviously he likes you enough to talk to you, so just flat out ask how he feels about you. Regardless of his answer, it will be nice to know.
I was rated a ♥
My hair gets greasy really fast and no matter what I do, by the time the middle of the day comes my hair is all oily!
Sooooo is there anyone here who can tell my how to make hair less greasy without washing?
I can't be the only one, right?
You're not the only one.
Hairspray really helps absorb some of the grease, so just spray some on midday when you see it starting to get oily. I have also heard that if you put baby powder on it before blowdrying it really helps.
I was rated a ♥
My speakers are on, plugged in right but i cant hear anything. i tried fixing it changing settings and it still won't work. what do i do?
If you have checked all of your settings, everything is turned on, you've done a sound diagnostic test, and still nothing?...make sure your headphones aren't plugged into your computer. Haha. I have done that countless amounts of times. If you still have no luck, consider getting it looked at. It could possibly be a virus.
I was rated a ♥
I have the Clean and Clear Advantage 3-in-1 exfoliating cleanser. (This is to wash your face with up to two times a day)
I also have the Clean and Clear Advantage Acne Control Moisturizer (Pretty much a lotion to put on up to three times a day).
They both look the same, by the same name. Can I use both of these each day? Should I use them the maximum number of times that I can? Please help. Thanks a lot.
Using both products should be fine. You have already gotten 2 good pieces of advice, I just wanted to add a little tip from cosmo; wash your face 2 times a day if you are oily, once if you are dry.
:)
I was rated a ♥
Where can I watch New Moon Online for free and no surveys?
ov-guide.com
You will more than likely have to wait a day or two after the movie releases to watch it online. I would much rather watch it in theaters though. Wayyy better quality :)
I was rated a ♥
So, for my college essay I was thinking of writing about a point in my life when I basically had to cut all my hair off because it was falling out. I'm a female, and at the time short hairstyles weren't in fashion and we know how society judges people. I am also an African American so the pressure of keeping up to date is even worse in my opinion, compared to any other race. But,my goal isn't to make the person who's reading my essay pity me or whatever. I built my self confidence and learned to deal with the troubles that life sometimes offer and how i over came my obstacles. Do you get how i'm trying to come across? do you think this is a good topic choice? What do you think?
Anything could be a good or bad topic depending on how you write the essay. It's all about how you portray yourself and your writing style. As long as you veer away from the self pity, I think it would be an excellent choice. Be sure to focus the essay more on what you learned from the experience and how it affected you in the long run as opposed to the superficial aspect of losing your hair and it should turn out to be an amazing paper. Good luck :)
I was rated a ♥
My boyfriend and I (were both seniors in high school) plan to move into an apartment together after we graduate in May. Neither of us have jobs yet but plan to get one soon. I need help figuring out how to manage our money so we have enough to get an apt and buy stuff for our home. Websites and any advice would be great. Thank you so much!
If you don't have jobs, it's going to be pretty much impossible to get a fully furnished nice place. If both of you get jobs right now and save like crazy, you may be able to get a place in about five years.
Hopefully you both plan on going to college, and that's going to be expensive. So getting a place is not in your best interest right now.
However if you are dead set on it, an income-based apartment would be your best shot. Some are actually nice, so don't let the name fool you. Walmart, target, home depot, and websites like that would be ideal for your furnishings.
Good luck, you'll probably need it :)
I was rated a ♥
I left my school in 9th grade to be home schooled because I was horribly bullied throughout middle school, and I was always intimidated by those that bullied me. With that said, when I was returning to that school in the last semester of 10th grade. I was terrified of going back. I wanted to forget everything and start all over. I changed my name to a preferred name, and acted like I didn't know anyone (which was very immature, I know). A bunch of people found out and they bullied me even more; taunted me, and spread rumours about me even more to the point where I'd skip school because I'd feel terrified of going. Things have gotten a bit better in 11th grade but I feel like I'm reserved and not able to make friends because I'm always feeling worthless, and like I'll always be rejected? What can I do to have high self esteem, and be able to stand up for myself without feeling bad about it?
It's normal for teenagers to have self esteem issues. With that being said you did have it rough as a little girl, I will give you that. But no one's childhood is completely pleasant. There are always those little things that happened to us growing up that will always stay with us, even into adulthood. Now is the time in your life when you can look back at that situation in music class and laugh, even if it does still mortify you to think about.
Look, you have a friend who has stuck with you through all of this. Instead of focusing on all the people you aren't friends with, focus on the ones you are. They love you and care for you. It is better to have one amazing best friend then dozens of friends who don't really care if you are in there lives one way or the other. Remember that.
You are still in high school, and you have already said things are getting a little better. And trust me, they will only get better from here. High school sucks, and the fact you have such a history there makes it that much worse. Just focus on your grades, your family, and the friends you do have. Those are the things that are important. Once you are out of high school you get to start all over. Focus on that. "Don't ever let anyone tell you high school is the best days of your life. High school is to be endured, college is the best days of your life." That is a loosely written quote from one of my favorite authors, Stephenie Meyer, and I just thought I would share that with you. It's 100 percent true.
As for your self esteem issues, don't let anyone ever tell you that you are less than beautiful. Be proud of who you are and the skin and body you were given. They were given to you for a reason. Focus on all of your favorite aspects of yourself, and screw the things you don't like. I have huge ears and I hate my eyebrows and teeth. I used to hate the way I looked, but now I am proud of myself and my looks. Work the things you don't like, and be proud of them. Anyone who says negative things about you are only trying to feel better about the negative things they have.
There is a solution. It's called time. Eventually you will gain self esteem, but you have to want it. You can't always focus on your hang ups. Be proud of yourself.
I was rated a ♥
Where can I get going out/cute club clothes like the dresses at
forever 21
go jane
ami clubwear
envy clubwear
mandee
wetseal
stores like that, where it's not expensive and you can order online
Thanks :)
Go to the charlotterusse website. It's my favorite clothing store. They even have a "night out" cateogory, which is what you would be interested in. :)
I was rated a ♥
I received a forwarded email from my best friend who would never lie to me about bottled water causing breast cancer. Supposedly Sharon Crow was on the Ellen Show and mentioned that bottled water left in the car has "dioxins" that cause breast cancer. The email said that she told national television this because her doctor told her about these dangers. I have to assume that this must be ANY bottled water though because bottled waters is typically shipped in trucks from place to place. If this is true, should I stop drinking bottled water?
I am pretty sure it's true. I'm not sure about Crow going on the Ellen Show and talking about it, but I received the email and actually looked it up. You should be safe as long as you do not heat up the bottle in the microwave or freeze the bottle in the freezer. I wouldn't stop drinking bottled water though. If you go down that route you will live a very unpleasant life. Nowadays they say that pretty much everything causes some sort of cancer or another.
I was rated a ♥
My best friend and I want to apply to college together. She wants to go to school for art, and I want to go for writing.
Any recommended colleges supporting both these as majors?
You will both want to go to some school that is known for their Liberal Arts program. I have one not 15 minutes away, and since I want to teach I am getting a Bachelor's in Liberal Arts and Sciences. You'll want to find a school who is known for that kind of program. Since I don't know where you live, I can't give a specific name of one. But basically that program covers art, literature, writing, history, etc. :)
I was rated a ♥
Hey im a freshmen cheerleader. i hate it so much. i honestly do not want to finish the season the only thing i can think of is getting hurt so i can sit out. i no that scounds bad but i hate cheer that much, What are some things i can do to hurt myself where it doesnt hurt that much but i can not participate in cheer. thankyou.
If you hate it that bad, then quit. I was a cheerleader for five years, and my senior year of cheering was miserable. I fought with my captains and the other cheerleaders, I felt like everyone was always talking about each other behind their backs, and I felt like instead of being on a cheer team, I was on a drama team. The cheering was minimal, the fighting was constant. Even though I had cheered my entire life, the girls I cheered with made it terrible for me. I was really afraid to quit because I didn't want to be hated by everyone on the squad, I didn't want to disappoint my mom by giving up, and I told myself that it was just one more year. I had cheered my entire life and didn't want to quit the last year in. But I just wasn't happy anymore.
I did end up quitting. At first the drama was even worse and I know that I was probably talked about. However after a few months I started getting along with the girls, and I realized it was probably because I wasn't cheering. I know that's pathetic, but that's just how it was. I was afraid I would regret my decision, and later on in the year, I did. I missed it, and I actually cried at the first pep rally I wasn't in. Eventually I got used to it though, and now that I am out of school and look back on the situation, I am glad I quit. I was much happier after I wasn't cheering, because when I was I came home from practice and games every single time crying or being pissed off over something one of the cheerleaders said or did.
If you don't want to cheer, don't. There is no point in hurting yourself so you won't have too. Just tell your captian or coach that because of certian circumstances you aren't at liberty to discuss, you can't finish the season. I know it's scary to think about, but you can do it. Just spit it out, and then it's over.
I was rated a ♥
are there any tv shows kinda like burn notice? By that i mean hot guys and lots of action haha oh and they dont have to be on right now, i can just watch them on netflix.
I am not sure of any tv shows like that, but the Bourne movies (Bourne Identity, Bourne Supremacy, and Bourne Ultimatum) have a very hot guy and lots of action. Plus they are amazing movies. Two others I can think of would be Shooter and Taken. Both are really awesome.
I was rated a 5 ♥
hi ,this sounds akward but i just have to ask somebody.
ok so when i touch my vagina down there i dont feel nothing.and i dont even see my clitoris.i seen images on google but i dont see no little circle in there. i just see something thats like a seed.and thats the uretha,my doctor opened me down there and told me i do have one. but i just dont kno because when you touch your clitoris is suppoed to feel good.but me i dont feel nothing.am really sad about this because i really want to feel something :(
You cannot feel your clitoris if you are not turned on. When you get aroused, your clitrois swells, and that's when you can feel it. You're normal, but you won't feel anything if you aren't aroused. :)
I was rated a ♥
if i were to have sex with a condom, have him pull out, take the morning after pill, AND do it right when i get off my period, what are the chances of me getting pregnant. it absolutely cannot happen but ive been dating my guy for almost 3 years and we're both ready and i really want to do it with him. im 17 btw. absolutely cantcantcantcant get pregnant.
If you cannot deal with the consequences, regardless of how slim the chances are, then you shouldn't take the chance. However if you do have sex and take all precautions possible, you more than likely won't get pregnant.
Get put on the birth control pill and wait a month until having sex, track your cycle and have sex when you are least fertile, use a condom EVERYTIME and have him pull out before getting pregnant, and use the morning after pill and I can guarentee you that if you do all of the above 100 percent correctly, then you won't get pregnant.
I'll more than likely get banned for saying that, because "abstinence is the only 100 percent way not to get pregnant" but if you do all of those things, then you won't get pregnant unless fate just has it's way with you ;)
I was rated a ♥