I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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This is kinda annoying but I was kinda interested in a guy who is younger than me and I am in my 30's and he is in his 20's. I don't think we are that far apart in age. He seems like a fun guy but from judging from what I can see he cares too much about what people think of him and I can see he has some growing up to do. I don't know this guy that well but he is in the dance community so I know him from seeing him and started becoming a dance teacher. Over the years I have seen him dance by me on purpose with friends or he's near me with his friends. I also think he knows that I like him and I have complimented him on his dancing. He said he was flattered when I told him I liked his dancing. In the past I have tried messaging him and he ignored me. But one thing that puzzles me is that he always seems to be around me and gets kinda nervous when he dances with me. His classes are fun, he seems like a fun guy and I can tell he's a pretty intelligent guy, so somehow I'm kinda an admirer lol. Needless to say I wish the guy was more interested in becoming friends or whatever. Another person I know said he is autistic. Most people I know who are autistic are smart people! Also I notice in class he does some backwards things but it could be just nerves or doesn't realize he does it. I'm just confused by him and why is he always by me. I think I have overheard him say in the past to one of my friends saying I was attractive but he said hot lol.
I know I sound judgmental but I just don't get him haha. What would you do? Leave him alone? Try to make a friend? I think he might be snobby with some of his friends and two-faced...?
Is he interested? Is he being a jerk? Why is he around me? He does smile a lot at me. Is he just as confused as I am? haha (link)
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Let's deal with the perception not equaling reality part. You have this idea of him as being snobby or two-faced or immature without knowing much about him period other than what you see in class. I wouldn't call it judgmental but rather jumping to conclusions and making assertions without really knowing him.
I doubt he is ignoring you either but rather doesn't know how to approach you or talk to you. Sometimes it's harder for someone who may have a disability autistic or not to approach others and make a connection. He likely is nervous that you will reject him for being different plus the fears most guys have about approaching girls.
He likes you and it's evident but is pretty nervous as I'm sure you are too of rejection. I think the best thing to do is introduce yourself and tell him you would like to get to know him better and possibly hang out. That will help you make friends with him and if dating happens after than that's a bonus. At least you will have a friend.
Yes, autistic people are very smart and we are only scratching the surface on what autism truly is. I know however, from my own experience that what appears to be immaturity is actually a child like quality at times and reasoning may be different than ours too. Sometimes they may seem distant but it's not because of anything you said or did.
Dating, friendships and relationships are very hard to form and keep. I think by you reaching out first and letting him know all is okay and how you feel will turn out positive and break down any communication or barriers that may exist.
Believe me if he didn't like you he would have not put any effort into trying to get your attention or overtly be around you all the time. So yes, you're both as confused as each other. Talk to him. He won't bite you if you like him. See where it leads. Invite him to a movie or to hang out with friends. He probably is worried about how people perceive him and isn't sure what you think of him. Having an open and honest talk with him may lead to something fantastic whether or not you end up in a relationship.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you for taking the time to answer this and I will look into what you said : )
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