I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male Member Since: December 31, 2006 Answers: 3591 Last Update: August 30, 2022 Visitors: 141430
Main Categories: Mental health Parenting Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories View All
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I am 16 years old, (almost 17), and I am really sad that I haven't started driving yet, but I refuse to start until my parents can prove to me that they will treat me like older kid when I start driving. They make me walk my dog with my 13 and 11 year old siblings (yes it's true), and they make me sit in the backseat of the car so my 13 year old sibling can get the front seat over me (again, yes you read that correctly), all while claiming that they'll be just as fair as any other parent when their kid starts driving. I also have a job, so how can I make sure they will trust me with a car (that I will pay for) when I start driving? (link)
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You sound entitled. I'm being blunt here because you're acting like they owe you something you haven't earned yet. They don't have to prove themselves to you over anything. It's the other way around. If you want to be treated like a grownup you have to consistently deliver in your actions and decision making.
An adult won't care where they sit in the car. They may have a preference but are not going to be at odds with an 11-year-old and 13-year-old kid. They'll give up the seat knowing that it's no worth disputing and the destination is the same.
Also, refusing to start learning how to drive and not studying the guides or applying for a learner's license if eligible isn't hurting them any but is you. You could show them you are an adult by doing that much and working hard towards a goal ie being able to contribute to car payments.
It's the silent things we do to earn trust and not what we overtly do to get attention that makes parents extend trust. You have to continually work for it sincerely and it will be given to you. Parents can see when it's false or being done to get something from them and don't like it.
You have to stop expecting or thinking you're owed all this trust or aren't getting your fair share because they can sense you feel entitled to something they need you to earn. Prove yourself to be an adult in the ways above.
You're supposed to walk your dog and doing so takes responsibility for him/her or something else. You're also setting an example to your younger siblings about caring for something other than self. That's not too much of anyone to ask.
The thing is your parents probably do trust you on some level and feel they are being fair but that you're wanting too much from them. Your other issue is with your siblings and what attention you think they should or shouldn't receive.
In short, study a drivers handbook and get your permit to learn and be set to go. That shows to your parents you're making adult decisions and should be trusted more. Do things without being asked re: dog and get along with your siblings. Give up the seat if need be. Also, put aside that money which you'll all be proud of later.
Understand that 11 and 13-year-old kids are that just kids and that as an adult though you may not like something they do that you don't make an issue or worse fight out of it. Let your parents discipline and choose the arrangement. In the end if you do these things with sincerity and not for show or to get anything in particular you'll find yourself with another level of respect having earned it correctly.
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