I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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How do I stop going after emotionally unavailable men? They're huge babies, have commitment issues, cowards, do not know how to be themselves or hold a conversation.
I have a terrible habit and I keep hurting myself. Also, I attract creeps- why is that? I attract guys who I am never interested in.
Help! hahaha (link)
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I will be brutally honest with you that it's your attitude that is killing your relationships and preventing you from experiencing a good one. You are closing yourself off from people and being judgmental. Often people who have difficulty conversing are painfully shy and not confident around you at first.
You might be putting out body language or a vibe that intimidates them even if unaware of it. As far as cowards go who are you to judge character or if they are? Yes, there are people who have commitment issues but it usually comes to being extremely hurt by past experiences. Giving yourself over completely to someone else is the ultimate release and trust.
There are also people who can indeed be creepy. It's not you that is attracting them or a magnet for. You just need to trust your gut and walk away if something makes you feel icky or stands out as a real red flag.
You mention guys you don't think you would be interested in like you. That's actually not such a bad thing. Perhaps they aren't who you envision when it comes to look, style etc but quite honestly they make the best partners and are loyal. Don't turn your back on them. Also, don't overlook people under your nose who may make a good partner or could be interested. You really have to drop the attitude and embrace and be open to anyone who treats you right.
You also need to stop seeing guys as cowards, huge babies etc because they could also see you in a negative light too. That hurts. If you approach everything and everyone with positivity and give off that vibe you'll end up attracting the right person. Don't be afraid to give someone who may be different a shot either.
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Rating: 3
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I do need to become more positive, I've just had a lot of bad experience with guys who ghost, or say they're going to hang out with me then coward out- they stop speaking to me and are complete jerks. So, yes I do feel like those are cowards- guys who aren't cowards would be straight forward with you saying hey I'm sorry I don't feel that connection with you- perhaps we could be friends or I don't want to lead you on.
I don't think every guy is a baby- I just have a terrible past and nowadays I don't have any positive experience b/c every guys that I've met has treated me like crap. Throw you breadcrumbs sort of thing-indeed I should stop going after guys lol.
I was nothing but nice to them.
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