I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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In short, I had a really stressful junior year of college. I was so stressed out between school, work studies, being a resident assistant for the university, a break up that past summer, the death of my lifelong cat, and everything else related to personal family ties. I got next to no sleep during this time, and when I did sleep, I was met with horrific sleep paralysis which resulted in drastic and unfortunate mental consequences. The consequences were so intense that I had what psychiatrists called a “brief psychotic break”. Before the holiday break, I had reached out to some friends and told them what was going on and what I was experiencing. It was during the time when I was still pretty unwell, so I probably shared too much, and assumed it would be information kept with some respect or at least secrecy out of concern for my obvious unwellness. Over the holiday break, I was sent to a psych ward for four days. Thanks to my work with counselors and the use of other resources, I have recovered and am well, and I am very thankful.
For some reason though, something came to my mind yesterday, despite it happening last year, closer to my break. A guy I barely knew messaged me on Snapchat when I still had the app and asked me “are you really psychic?“ to which I responded, “who’s telling you this?” And he said, “oh -the person in question- told me you think you’re psychic.” I want to say something to -the person in question-, but am curious if I should.
The issue is old, and I was in a different space during the time of the Snapchat message, hence why this wasn’t addressed earlier. However, I am really frustrated about this. I feel that the darkest point of my life was exposed and exaggerated for the sake of gossip, which is something the person in question is known for loving. I want to at the least have a conversation with them saying that now I know what they did was wrong and that I don’t appreciate them sharing something so private about my personal timeline. I just don’t even know how I’d bring it up. I could say it came up in a photo memory, but no doubt they’d ask for a screenshot. I literally just thought of it all yesterday and I really do not know why. A few people in my life are saying that I should simply use this event to serve me in a guiding sense to “be more careful” around this individual. I usually am particularly careful, as I am not super into dramatics. I do, however, want to advocate for myself, not really expose anyone. If I want to be petty, I can use it as a yu-gi-oh card style talking point in the event of a need for a desperate measure, but that of course sounds childish to me.
I feel silly writing an advice request for an old issue, but it truly has been irritating me for the past 24 hours. If anything, validation and guidance are appreciated. Advice on whether or not I confront, leave it in my back pocket, or move on also greatly welcomed. Thank you for your time and for reading a brief overview of my largest obstacle. Stay well, all!
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Psychiatric issues are yours alone to disclose or keep close to the vest. I will tell you based on experience that young people aren't like adults when it comes to understanding and more often than not will talk about it to others and or treat you like shit afterward.
The lesson is you have to be very careful what you tell people. It's really none of their business and if they want to cause grief or drama about it than move on. If they want to know where you have been come up with some excuse. It's better in my view to keep this close to the vest and on a need to know basis.
The majority of the time you'll need to asay nothing because with proper treatment you are as normal as anyone else is. That's how you need to approach daily life.
You'll find out from this who your real friends are when you have had a mental health issue. It's because they don't understand or are fearful. It's the ultimate betrayal when you tell someone something so intimate that they tell someone else they had no business to.
In this case it's obviously upset you to the point you even have disturbing dreams about it. You should confront the person privately and tell them that they had no permission to talk and that you resent what they did. Give them benefit of doubt before dumping them but tell them this doesn't happen again and never disclose anything you wouldn't want repeated to people.
As far as the person causing drama they'll always be a headache and out to gossip about anyone. I would cut them lose because this not what a friend does over and over. They have a bad history of the behavior and aren't about to break it.
Dreams are thought pictures. When you go to bed at night you don't escape your own thinking be it ambitions, fears or anything else. In a dream we see moving pictures. It's all it is and nothing to be scared of. It's just an indicator that something is coming to the surface constantly and needs dealing with. Give this person the boot and the other a chance.
In fact, you mention a group of people knowing the same details you don't want to be discussed. Confront all of them and then see how the dust settles. You have a right to privacy and to being pissed over their carelessness with a sensitive issue that should be secret.
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Rating: 4
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I really appreciate this answer! Very straight to the basic points without dancing over anything. I am thankful for the validation as well. I do want to add that while I understand how this could be confused, the traumatic dreams were during my mental break, not because of this specific issue. I thought of this betrayal recently and it was unprompted. However, thank you for getting the general grasp of the post and giving an option to confront more than just one person to see how it all settles. This is an option I did not even consider and will use as a guide for when I am ready to handle this confrontation. Stay well and thank you again!
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