I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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For year’s iv’e thought my father has been verbally abusive to me our relationship has never been the way a father daughter’s relationship should be recently iv’e thought he is a narcissist father in public in front of people he act’s like the perfect father everything is fine but behind closed door’s that isn’t the case he has told me “I’ve got no brain” “I’m going to end up on the unemployment line and on food stamp’s” “He doesn’t care if he hurt’s me as long as he get’s his point across” “I’m losing at life” He like’s to put the blame on me make thing’s seem like they’re always my fault he rarely admit’s when he’s wrong he has also lifted up the table while i was eating dinner and got in my face
I feel like because iv’e reached the age i am no longer a child or minor that he feel’s like he no longer has to be a parent father to me he can stop i feel like he expect’s me to teach myself everything guide myself through life he has thrown it in my face that he teaches me everything when he is my parent father? He act’s like when it come’s to me everything is tough to do he doesn’t want to be bothered he act’s as if i’m a burden to him inconveniencing him because of him i am afraid to do thing’s around the house even something as simple as laundry i feel as if i am walking on eggshell’s i never know when he’ll strike he’ll abuse me one day then the next day he’ll talk to me act as if nothing happened don’t apologize he’ll act as if it didn’t affect me it’s like a reoccurring cycle he also like’s to mock me whether it’s mocking my word’s or action’s
Moving out isn’t a option moving in with friend’s isn’t a option either i also can’t move in with family because we all don’t live in the same state (link)
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You didn't mention if the abuse was always mental abuse or if there is a physical aspect where he assaults you. If he's hitting, punching or otherwise physically harming you call the cops and let them deal with him. It doesn't matter his relationship to you at that point. It's about getting him away from you and making him see the cosequences of his actions.
What I'm really concerned about is your mental health and inner soundtrack. When someone repeatedly runs us down it has an adverse affect and we start to believe it on some level. I think what you really need is a counselor you can tell all of this to and get help for dealing with your father and seeing that you are not what he refers to you as. You need to be strong mentally and if you have depression or anything else get that treated.
You said you can't live with friends. Why not? If you told them about your situation and that you can't be at home or escape it and volunteer what money you do have I think it could work. You could talk to their parents about what is happening.
While the rest of your family lives in different states you could reach out to them and let them know you need to leave the situation you are in and what's happening constantly. It may be a big adjustment but perhaps you can move in with family if willing to move to another state and start fresh. That may be a possibility you hadn't thought of.
If you tell enough people be it friends or adults you trust someone will be able to work with you and help you through the situation.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you the abuse has always been mental abuse he hasn’t hit me become physical iv’e thought about telling my family about the situation but my dad would probably deny wouldn’t consider what he’s doing to me abuse just constructive criticism as far as counseling goes iv’e been wanting to see a therapist again but with the pandemic happening it has made thing’s impossible tough
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