21/f
I have a gay best friend who has recently smothered me from the details of his new relationship. I hear about it EVERY SINGLE DAY. Literally. I am currently down and in a rut when it comes to my love life. And he knows this. He has,I'm not kidding,informed me if EVERY date,kiss,bite and sex they've had. And I just couldn't stand it anymore. I am by no means jealous. I just don't want to hear about relationships until I get my life together. So I sent him a message with this content:
"I have a favour to ask. And I know it's going to sound selfish,but I have to make this request. You know that I really don't have my shit together when it comes to my love life. And frankly it makes me uncomfortable hearing about you and him every single day. It's not about jealousy,I just think you're sharing too much of what is supposed to be private. Nonetheless I'm very glad that you two are happy. There,I had to get that off my chest."
And he replied by berating me about doing the same when I was dating so he thought it was OK. While I did tell him about my relationships,I never went into so much detail,and every single day. I feel at ease that I won't listen to that anymore,but I fesr I may lose his friendship now. Am I a bad person for simply wanting to be at peace from his constant nagging?
I don't think it was selfish. You did it too, but he way overdid it. Some people just talk too much and share too much information and they don't realize it. Sometimes I just wanna say "SHUUUTT UUUPP!!!"
You didn't come off as a bitch by your words, but he just got offended anyway. Some people just get offended way too easily and any kind of suggestion/request may be taken as criticism or attack and their response is to defend themselves how they know how. In his case, by berating you.
If you decide to apologize, say what you said here. That you're in a rut with your love life and you don't need to know every detail about someone else's successes because it makes you feel bad. (even if the last part isn't true). But it'll win you sympathy points and he'll probably forget about being offended.
And no, deciding that you don't want to put up with someone's constant nagging does not make you a bad person.
Might wanna rethink whether this nagging diva is really worth to keep as a friend.
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(Rating: 5)
I said it all nicely to him and we sorted things out. Thank you for shedding light on my worries. I really wasn't used to this kind of behaviour from Jim so I was worried what would happen next.
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